


The Scientist I: Wonderwall

by EightLeggedFox



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Childhood Friends, Enemies to Lovers, M/M, not so rich kid daniel, rich kid jihoon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:28:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 59,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27542335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EightLeggedFox/pseuds/EightLeggedFox
Summary: Like in most things, it starts with an innocent hello and a smile by the playground during recess. It's normal and unassuming as far as first meetings go, and so terribly inadequate in terms of just how much it foretells their fate. Because with Daniel, Jihoon will come to learn just how many trials there are to pass when it comes to someone you love.
Relationships: Kang Daniel/Park Jihoon
Comments: 7
Kudos: 41





	The Scientist I: Wonderwall

**Author's Note:**

> I guess it's safe to say that the more I try to repress my thoughts, the harder they come out when I actually go about doing something about it lol. This thing...is something that just came to me a long time ago and was really just a seedling of an idea that I never imagined would grow into this monster that I never had any intention to write hahahahaha
> 
> But here we are and here it is in full (in)completion hahaha. I guess a part of me had always wanted to write something youthful and juvenile so—for the sake self-indulgence—let's pretend it's 2017 and the world is fine and /they're/ fine and lets get lost in the fantasy of what is my very first and last Nielwink High School AU~~~

Jihoon isn’t one for parties.

Besides the gnawing pressure in the air to socialize with people he normally wouldn’t even strike a conversation with on a different day, there’s also the issue of putting up a tedious facade that tells the world the complete opposite of his true sentiments for this supposed social gathering. The occasional burst of annoying laughter echoing through the room and the never-ending buzz of chatter that would otherwise be subdued if it weren’t for the presence of alcohol doesn’t make things any less unpleasant either, and Jihoon seriously begins to wonder why he’s even here in the first place.

“Okay-okay-okay! Bring out the whiskey!!” Comes in a loud, high-pitched shrill to cheers of glee over on the other end of the huge room—the voice coming from the person who’d been laughing loudly seconds earlier. Jihoon sighs, as if the world really needed to give him a reminder. 

He shifts his focus to where he's currently hoarding a bowl full of cheese nachos and fried chicken wings, and he supposes that it isn’t _all_ bad. It could be worse; at least he’s not in some bar or a club or any sort of sweat-inducing venue that requires him to actually socialize even more than necessary.

Instead it’s an all-expense paid social party provided by their company (and at a four-star hotel, no less) to celebrate the ten years of the business since its founding. Jihoon couldn’t really care less about all that, but Jaehwan and Daehwi had been adamant on attending and pulling him along. Although if he’s being honest with himself, he’d admit that they didn’t actually have to tie the rope too tight for him to agree to come along tonight anyway—the prospect of the all-you-can-eat buffet is much too hard a temptation to pass.

“Do you think we should step in?” Daehwi pipes up from beside him, arms crossed in typical Daehwi-fashion. “I mean, I know it’s a free-flow bar and all, but this is _technically_ still kind of a work event. Someone should stop Jaehwan-hyung from drinking too much.”

Jihoon lets out an amused snort, popping a generously dipped nacho in his mouth. “Good luck with that. He already has his hands on that whiskey bottle. Remember the last time someone tried to take his whiskey away from him?”

The small giggle and the scrunching of Daehwi’s face is enough indication that he remembers that incident at the bar just as well as he does. Jaehwan not only managed to get them _banned_ from ever coming back to that certain establishment but also managed to get the fire department and a team of paramedics involved all in one night.

“Just let him have his fun. I’m sure by the time Minhyun-hyung comes back from the bathroom and throws a smile his way, he’ll sober up and sink back into gay-panic.” 

Daehwi chuckles at that, following Jihoon as he walks back to their table and taking the seat next to him. 

“Speaking of throwing smiles,” he starts, leaning on his elbow and flashing Jihoon a smirk that spells nothing but trouble. “He’s been staring at you quite _a lot_ tonight, if I may say so myself.”

“Hmm? Who?” Jihoon deadpans, stuffing an outrageously large bite of chicken wing and looking at anywhere besides Daehwi’s knowing glare.

“Don’t play dumb. See he’s even staring at us right now,” he says, waving a hand of hello presumably to where the person he’s referring to is at.

“Daehwi!” Jihoon pulls his hand down, turns and caves over himself as if hunching his shoulders would make him invisible.

“What? I thought you liked him—”

“Can you be any louder?!” Jihoon hisses, whispering in hysterics. Daehwi only chuckles at him.

“Why? The whole office is practically _shipping_ you two. The only people who probably don’t talk about you looking good together are you and him.”

“Yeah, well—” Jihoon bites his lips, suddenly feeling very hot in his button-up and blazer. “We don’t really talk that much, okay? He’s four years my senior and we’re in different departments, and the only times I actually communicate with him is when I say hi to him at the elevator.”

Daehwi just shakes his head at him, his expression a mix of amused and exasperated. “So go talk to him now. We’re at a party! There’s literally no better time and place to finally move past your morning elevator-hello’s than right now.”

“It’s not that easy, okay?” Jihoon sighs, furiously scratching the top of his head. “I mean, what do I even say to him? I can’t just walk over and smile and say ‘oh, I like your hair and I think you’re really hot’ now can I?”

Daehwi doesn’t throw in a quick response to that like he expects he would. Instead, Jihoon just gets a tight-lipped smile that looks way too mischievous and evil on his sweet, little dongsaeng’s face.

“You like my hair?” Comes a deep voice from behind him, and Jihoon swears his heart jumps straight up his throat and cuts off all the oxygen flow to his body. He gives Daehwi the wide-eyed glare of a thousand daggers before he schools his face into something less vicious and turns around to meet his maker.

“S-sunbae. Hi!” he stutters, his voice going a whole two octaves higher when he realizes how close Taehyung is standing. The warm smile on his face is momentarily marred by the way he scrunches his nose up over itself but even then, the act doesn’t nearly make him less gorgeous than he is.

“You don’t need to be so formal, Jihoon.” He chuckles, gesturing to the chair across him. “Mind if I take a seat?”

Taehyung sits down anyway even without affirmation, but before Jihoon can even think of something else to say, Daehwi’s already pouncing on the moment.

“You’ll have to excuse him, Taehyung-hyung. Jihoon here tends to get really shy, especially in the presence of hot—”

The sound of glass breaking on the other side of the room comes up faster than the kick Jihoon’s aiming for at Daehwi’s leg under the table. All three of them look over to where Jaehwan has knocked over one of the ice sculptures at the dessert spread—an empty glass of whiskey in one hand and the still full bottle of its source in the other.

“Dear God, _please_ don’t let that be expensive,” Daehwi whispers out a deflated sigh, shaking his head as he gets up. “I’ll handle him. You guys just stay in your cute little bubble and talk, ‘kay?” 

If Jihoon didn’t know what a hazard Jaehwan truly is when he’s drunk, he would’ve thought that Daehwi probably planned this whole thing just to get him alone with his long-time office crush. But alas, he neither has the time nor mental capacity to even ponder the thought when a much more pressing hazard sits across just a few feet away from him.

“And here I was thinking of asking you to the bar to grab a drink with me,” Taehyung says, smiling wantonly while gazing at the unfolding spectacle before them—Daehwi’s currently playing a game of tug o’ war with Jaehwan over the whiskey bottle he’s holding. Jihoon only laughs.

“Trust me. You do _not_ want to get anywhere near that in the next hour or so,” he says, and his bashfulness bites him back when he belatedly realizes who he’s talking to. “Umm, I mean—uhh, I don’t drink anyway so…”

“You don’t?” 

Jihoon shakes his head, and he pinches his left thigh from under the table to _get a grip_. “N-no—I mean, I do, I just—umm...I can’t drink a lot.” He admits, eyes falling to his lap. “I get drunk way too easily. And I’ll probably end up doing far worse than Jaehwan over there.”

Taehyung lets out a soft chuckle at that, and Jihoon swears his heart soars at the sound. “That’s a shame. I bet drunk-Jihoon is a sight to see.”

“Oh, trust me. You do _not_ want to go there either.” Jihoon laughs again, putting his hands up in front of himself and shaking his head.

“I bet he’s still cute though.” Taehyung follows up, and a spike of warmth suddenly shoots all the way down through Jihoon’s chest when the words and the accompanied smile reaches him.

“Umm, yeah well—I don’t like drinking that much anyway either. I’m only really here for the fancy hotel food.”

“I noticed.” Taehyung nods, eyes flicking to his platter of nachos and chicken. “I’m quite impressed too. What’s that, your fifth round at the buffet?” He smiles, one that’s immediately bitten down by his upper teeth in the next second. “Not that I’ve been counting—or watching you or whatever because that would’ve been a creepy thing to do.”

Jihoon can’t be too sure, but somehow this tiny chink in Taehyung’s armor—that way he stumbled at his words just now along with the subtle flush of his olive-toned skin—gives him a little comfort. Maybe he isn’t the only one feeling a little flustered and intimidated in this game.

He opens his mouth to quip something back, but then another crash of shattering glass resounds and he and Taehyung look over to where Daehwi is now tackling Jaehwan to the ground, holding the bottle of whiskey over his head in victory. 

“Do you wanna go out for a walk?” Jihoon says despite himself, the urge to simply be as far away as possible from his two friends winning even against his inherent shyness to be around his senior. Taehyung seems surprised by his sudden proposition, but the smile that grows on his face isn’t one that’s about to say no.

Their walk turns into an all-out evening stroll, and Jihoon can’t ignore how beautiful, picturesque—and dare he say _romantic—_ the garden of the hotel is. An array of different plants and ferns expertly spread along the walkways, lined with a few decorative boulders and lit up by warm foot lanterns and dangling fairy lights strung around the taller branches of trees. 

He has no idea how long or how many rounds he and Taehyung have walked around the grounds but he finds that he barely even minds or cares. Not when he’s laughing his heart out over a funny story Taehyung is telling him about a trip to New Zealand that he and his best friends have recently gone on, and definitely not when a large hand finds its way to linger over his shoulder, his arm, until where it’s currently intertwined with his fingers.

“Hyung,” Taehyung says with a large, boxy smile, nudging Jihoon’s arm lightly. “I told you not to be so formal. Just call me hyung.”

Jihoon chuckles and nods at that, feeling bashful for being called out after calling him ‘Taehyung-ssi’ a second ago. They’ve stopped walking at this point, taking a halt over at one of the small arched bridges that traverse over the swimming pools. They’re leaning against the railing, basking in the cool evening air mixing with the artificial warmth brought by the outdoor lights.

“Alright, _hyung—”_ He emphasizes the honorific, raising an eyebrow. “—as I was saying. I can’t believe you're actually this goofy in person.”

“Goofy?” Taehyung laughs with him, his teeth showing. “Did you really just call me _goofy?_ ”

“And what if I did?” Jihoon challenges, earning him a playful punch on the arm. “It’s just—in the office you always look so serious and broody whenever I see you. I get scared even just making eye contact.”

“That’s just my face Jihoon-ah. You don’t have to be intimidated.” Taehyung chuckles, and Jihoon may be wrong but he thinks he’s inching himself closer into his space as he does. “And don’t talk as if you’re any better. You’re the one who’s always so quiet here. Plus I never, _ever_ see you hang out with anyone besides Daehwi and Jaehwan. You have no idea how many times I’ve attempted to ask you out to lunch.”

“Really?” That’s news to him, and he doesn’t keep the surprise from showing in his face when he asks, “Why would you want to have lunch with me?”

Taehyung just gives him a mildly incredulous look, blinking in amusement. His expression is so mirthful that his next words completely throw Jihoon off his rather precarious hold on his heart. 

“I want to get to know you...spend time with you. Like right now.”

It's so honest. Incredibly sincere that it pierces right through his chest and renders him speechless. Taehyung holds his gaze in the stead of his silence, his dark, deep set eyes boring through Jihoon. 

"Oh, you got a little—here." Taehyung suddenly reaches out over and to the side of his head, his hand coming back and holding a small flower that Jihoon recognizes is from one of the trees they passed by earlier. He blinks at it, right at the moment Taehyung extends it back toward him.

"For you," he says with a light chuckle, and it might be a little cheesy but the heat Jihoon feels spreading across his face is amplified when he's sure that Taehyung’s just moved another inch closer to him. He puts the flower between his thumb and forefinger, looking up and meeting chocolate brown eyes again.

It happens slowly, but even with that being the case, Jihoon isn't entirely aware of when or how Taehyung closes the gap between them to make their lips touch. His eyes close and he revels in the softness of the contact, letting the flames inside him ignite as his feelings take him to a small high. Jihoon has to tilt his head up a little to make up for their height difference, and it's in that singular motion that his mind does a complete one-eighty making him turn away in the next second. The resulting panic in Taehyung's eyes is palpable.

"S-sorry—I didn't—"

"N-no, hyung. It's—" Jihoon doesn't even know how or where to begin with his explanation, his mind only supplying him with the barest minimum. "It's fine. You shouldn't apologize."

But like any normal, gentle boy in the likes of Taehyung, the guilt doesn't wash away that easily. "I'm so stupid, Jihoon. I thought—shit, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have—"

"Hyung, it's okay." He has the gall to put an arm over him. Jihoon is almost disgusted with himself. "It's not your fault. It's—"

He bites his tongue, stopping himself from making the situation any worse than it already is with the whole 'it's not you, it's me' excuse. He pulls his hand back, eyes coming down in shame and guilt.

"I should be the one apologizing," Jihoon starts, inflicting the full weight of self-punishment by taking the awkward reins. "I...I should've been more forthcoming. I didn't mean to lead you on like that. I'm sorry."

There's a heavy stretch of silence from the moment his last words come out of his mouth. It's awkward and stifling, time in which Jihoon starts to hear an echo of Daehwi's voice in his head ringing a question he thought he knew the answer to; a question he was so sure of himself up until a few seconds ago.

_‘I thought you liked him?’_

"There's someone else, isn't there?"

Taehyung snaps him out of his brooding reverie, making him look up. He heard the question loud and clear, but the response that comes out of him is harried and panicked. "What?"

"Your heart." Taehyung clarifies, and a sharp pang shoots to the side of Jihoon's chest when he's given a small smile. "It belongs to someone else."

He doesn't know what to say to that, and he's only vaguely aware that his mouth is hanging limply; senses dulled by the erratic beating of his heart.

“Taehyung—”

“It’s okay.” He nods at him, the confirmation evident. “I know that look. I understand.”

Somehow that admittance only makes the wound sting more, and Jihoon can’t wrap his head around the fact of how Taehyung so easily guesses this detail if it didn’t mean that he’s gotten this look from someone else before.

“I’m sorry,” is all Jihoon can think to say, his guilt amplifying. It had been a beautiful night and he just had to ruin it.

“Jihoon-ah, please don’t apologize for that,” Taehyung says, his hand coming under his chin to pull his face up. “You don’t have to worry about me. I’m a big boy, I can take it.”

A proper response eludes him, and right now there isn't anything he can think of that won’t just make the situation worse so he just nods. Taehyung promptly pulls himself away, taking one step back and drawing out a weighted sigh before leaning his elbows over the bridge railing. Jihoon watches him from the corner of his vision, sees how he fiddles with his thumbs and looks down at the stagnant pool water below.

“Is he someone from the office?” Taehyung asks after a while, turning to face him again. His expression is so sweet and soft that Jihoon doesn’t even hesitate to give an honest answer.

“No. He’s umm...he’s an old friend of mine.”

Taehyung nods then, the gesture is nothing but understanding. “Well there’s no competing with that.” He chuckles, pulling himself away from the railing to stand in front of him again. “He’s a lucky guy.”

The derisive snort that comes out of Jihoon then isn’t something he can stop even if he tried. He has a good number of things to say on that account but he bites his cheek instead, ending a potential debate with a loose nod.

A few awkward seconds pass before Taehyung finally thinks to ask if they should be getting back inside, and Jihoon just lets out a lame excuse of wanting to stay out a bit more—get some air. And maybe Taehyung isn’t as okay with what’s unfolded as he says he is because he just gives him a nod and a sweet smile before going ahead, leaving him to his devices.

It doesn’t take more than a few minutes for him to move as well, but heading instead towards the exit connecting the garden to the outside world rather than back inside the hall of the party. The last thing he needs is to be interrogated by his friends with Taehyung still in the same room.

Jihoon books a cab, leans back on his seat the moment he gives the driver his address and closes his eyes for much the entire journey. His thoughts run rampant in the darkness of his lids, egged on by his own tiredness and unwillingness to control them any more than he can for the day.

He feels the ghost of a kiss on his lips; warm and soft, quick and shy, hopeful and sad. It’s electrifying, filled with questions as to whose lips they belong to when they part and dance on the surface of his skin. He feels large, gentle hands cupping his own, the warmth of the touch travelling up his arms until it settles deep in his chest. He sees Taehyung’s face—handsome, sweet. Hard around the edges but soft in the middle. The guilt is still there, and Jihoon doesn’t think he can erase the disappointed look he was given tonight any time soon.

Daehwi’s voice in his head is still asking him the same question from earlier, one that Jihoon silently answers with _‘I thought I did.’_

And suddenly the kiss on his lips turns clear, like the focus ring of a camera lens finally picking up on the right depth of clarity. The lips belong to a different face, owned by similar large hands that hold not only his arms but his entire heart. 

“We’re here.” The cab driver nudges him awake, and Jihoon hits the breaks on his thoughts before opening his eyes and muttering a thank you. 

The journey up to his apartment is laden with double thoughts and the pungence of regret. He’s missed his opportunity, the chance to finally let go of a past he’s been holding onto for so long and finally moving on like he’d repeatedly told himself to do over the years. Taehyung is good and kind, and most importantly, he’s _here._ He doesn’t have to wait for Taehyung—doesn’t have to endure anything he can’t see an end to.

By the time the electronic beep of his lock jingles its tune and he steps inside his home, Jihoon is almost certain that he’s made a mistake. It’s only when he’s toed off his shoes, shed his blazer and thrown himself on his sofa that he swerves back to that hand on his heart and reconsiders his thoughts again. Facing him right in the middle shelf of the bookcase across his living room sits the picture frame containing the only photo they have together—an old, blurry selfie of two teenagers with the same bright eyes and wide smiles.

It only takes one look for Jihoon to know that the only mistake he made tonight was thinking that he actually had a chance of moving on with someone in the first place. Because no matter how resigned he is on the fact that their fates are no longer intertwined—no matter how much he tells himself to live in reality—Jihoon knows that the memories on his lips and the beats his heart make only point to the boy with the bucktooth smile grinning beside him for the camera.

  
  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
  


If Jihoon were to think about it—like really sit down, draw his thoughts, and _think_ about how and when this mad spiralling towards a certain boy started, he'd probably point to the moment he first laid eyes on him that one day in October during the first grade. Granted, he was never really aware of anything life changing at the time, but like all cataclysmic phenomenons that happen in the universe, one only sees the magnitude of such things in absolute retrospect.

Jihoon was only five then, sitting in school with his bright yellow backpack slung behind the back of his seat while he was busy reddening Pikachu’s cheeks on his Pokemon coloring book; mildly oblivious to his teacher who was coaxing a new student to stand in front of the class so he could introduce himself. 

"Alright everyone, you have a new classmate joining you today. Let's all pause what we're doing and say hello, shall we?" his teacher said with a smile, gently patting the new boy on the shoulder. Jihoon put down his crayons, looking up just in time to watch the new kid make a small bow.

"Hello everyone! My name is Kang Daniel. It's nice to meet you!" The boy said, his face stretching into a wide smile that bunched his cheeks and pushed his white-frame glasses up his face. 

It was normal for how elementary school introductions go, and it never really occurred to Jihoon's young mind how strange it was to be getting a new classmate a month and a half into the school year. Instead he said hello back along with the chorus of his classmates, his focus stalled only by how tall the new boy was and how strange his name sounded when he silently tried repeating it on his tongue.

Daniel sat two chairs behind him from that day forward, but regardless of their everyday proximity and the approachable personality he seemed to exude, Jihoon never really talked to him. As a matter of fact, no one in his class did.

Even at the tender age of single digits and cartoon-print lunch boxes, a child wasn’t safe from the societal structure of school classrooms and the human nature of hostility and aversion to things they couldn’t understand. It didn’t take very long before Jihoon started to hear some of his classmates’ hushed whispers whenever the teacher wasn’t around or whenever Daniel left the room to go to the toilet. 

“I heard the teacher say he’s a lot older than us.”

“I saw his ID card and I think he’s the same age as my big sister.”

“Why is he in our class then? Shouldn’t he be with the older kids?”

“I asked him what his parents do for work and he says he doesn’t have a dad.”

Suffice to say, Daniel wasn’t exactly everyone’s favorite. And while the quiet whispers never escalated into anything relating to trouble, every word still slapped on a brick around the new boy that separated him from the rest of the kids in Jihoon’s class. No one ignored him because Daniel had a habit of being the first one to talk anyway, but that’s really the extent of it because no one ever tried to make friends with him either.

At recess when they’re allowed to go out of the classrooms, Jihoon would always see him sitting alone on the small benches under one of the school’s many cherry trees on the far side of the courtyard eating by himself until the bell rings and they all shuffle back inside. Not that it’s any of his business or that there’s anything wrong with this setting—seeing as Jihoon himself doesn’t spend a lot of time with other people either and only ever really sticks to his friend Samuel—but he thinks that for someone as bubbly and bright as Daniel, it must be pretty lonely having to spend his break time all by himself.

And maybe that’s how this strange and involuntary fascination with the older boy started for him, because more often than not, Jihoon finds himself glancing over to the cherry trees more and more as the days rolled by.

He’d see him eating his snacks and drinking juice from his red lunch box, watching him look at the other kids laughing and playing on the playground. Sometimes he’d catch him bringing out a comic book on some days, unfailingly piquing his curiosity over at what he could be reading. Once he’d seen Daniel jump in surprise from seemingly out of nowhere, seconds before he quickly moved and packed up from his spot and left in a haste. (Jihoon’s curiosity got the better of him that time and he went over a little later and saw a grasshopper sitting on the bench Daniel was on.)

The furtive glances don’t stop there, and it soon bleeds into the time he spends inside the classroom as well. From drawing his eyes over to Daniel’s seat the moment he makes it to school in the morning and just right before it’s time for him to go home—to turning in his own chair on occasion just to glance behind him, stealing millisecond glimpses whenever he thinks no one’s looking. 

It’s through this that he finally sees that Daniel’s red lunchbox actually has a picture of spider-man on one side of it, and that his backpack comes in a matching set. He sees that the comic Daniel brings with him outside to recess is actually an old and wrinkled copy of _Shin-chan—_ or what he thinks is Shin-chan. Jihoon isn’t sure because the words on the cover aren’t in Korean.

Besides the answers to some of his curiosities, Jihoon also begins to notice other things about the older boy he never thought he’d find fascinating. Trivial details like how Daniel’s twelve-color crayon box looks old and torn with most of the colors already broken in half, and how his shoes look a little big on him with the backs of each pair scruffed up and wrinkled from all the times he steps on them. Jihoon almost even discerns what he thinks is a mole just underneath his right eye one time—that is until Daniel suddenly notices him staring and decides to throw a small smile his way, making Jihoon’s cheeks flush and forcing him to turn around and keep himself from making any more backtrack glances for an entire week.

Whether it’s from that moment of brief eye contact or from other reasons entirely, this secretive game that Jihoon plays by himself soon turns into a game for two. He first notices it when an itch at the back of his head makes him turn to look towards the cherry trees one afternoon, only for him to whip his head back the next second when he sees Daniel staring where he and Samuel are eating. On the way home one day just as he’s about to hop in their car when his dad picks him up, he catches Daniel watching him from the other side of the school parking lot. It’s even worse in class because he can literally _feel_ eyes boring through the back of his head the whole time, earning him a stern look from the teacher when he asks for the bathroom pass for the sixth time in a row.

It all reaches a cusp on a particularly cold day a month after Daniel entered his life. The holidays were near, marked by the tall piling of orange leaves around the school courtyard and the wintry air blowing on the edges of Jihoon’s ears when he spends his recess outside. He’s sitting alone—Samuel had to take his holiday break earlier than everyone else since he and his mom we’re flying to America to visit his dad—when a soft tap on his shoulder calls his attention that soon has him turning and staring into a pair bespectacled eyes and a toothy smile.

“Hello.” The boy towering over him says, his two front teeth snagging at his lower lip when it stretches into a wider smile. “Your name is Jihoon, right?”

It’s a strange thing to ask a person you’ve practically been seeing everyday for the past month, but the sudden shyness Jihoon feels only has him nodding.

“Is it okay if I sit with you? The benches over there are still wet from the rain last night.” He points to his usual spot, but he’s quick to follow his words with, “It’s okay if you don’t want to. I can just head back inside the classroom if I’m bothering you.”

The words echo the whispers Jihoon can still sometimes hear his classmates say about Daniel when they think he can’t hear them, and suddenly there’s this strong feeling in his chest that gets him to move his lunchbox from the space next to him.

“It’s okay. You can sit with me,” he says, trying to smile as he pats at where Samuel usually sits. Daniel’s smile—if it were even possible—visibly grows wider.

Neither of them talk much, and Jihoon pushes the shyness by opening his lunchbox and taking out his food. He watches the older boy from the corner of his eyes when he does the same, a little surprised when he sees that the only things inside Daniel’s spider-man lunch box is a matching tumbler and a small pack of cheese crackers. 

“Did you forget to bring your food?” The words come out of Jihoon’s mouth before he can even think to hold his curiosity down. Daniel turns to him in mild surprise, obviously not expecting to be spoken to.

“Um, no. I got my crackers,” he says, raising the red packet in his hands to show him. “Did you want some?”

Jihoon blinks, shaking his head and looking at his lap where his own lunchbox stares back at him, full to the brim. He’s got his water tumbler and a small carton of juice with a bendy straw stuck to the back; two halves of a ham and cheese sandwich and a pack of gummy bears sitting next to a small banana. Jihoon sets his mouth in a tight line and by the time he looks up again and peeks over at the other boy, he’s already finished his crackers and closing his lunchbox.

“Thank you for letting me sit with you,” he says, bowing his head a little as he starts to stand up. “I’ll get going now.”

“H-hey—-wait.” 

Daniel pauses mid-turn, eyebrows rising in surprise. His expression turns even wilder when he sees Jihoon holding his hand up, half of his sandwich between his small, chubby hands.

“Do you want to share my sandwich? I got two and—umm, it’s pretty big and I don’t think I can finish it alone.”

Daniel’s eyes never leave the food in question, seemingly in shock. He only blinks in the seconds of silence, and it’s a little while before he speaks again. “Are you sure?”

Jihoon can’t be certain, but he thinks he sees the other boy’s face turn a little pink when he nods to his question—which he thinks is a little strange because it’s not even hot out today. “I’m sure. And you don’t have to go if you don’t want to yet. I don’t mind you sitting here.”

“Oh.” As simple as it all is, Daniel seems to be having a hard time processing the offer when all he does for another few seconds is stare at him. He moves eventually, placing his lunchbox back down and sitting beside him again to take his sandwich. 

“Thank you,” he says in a quiet voice. Shy and timid. “No one’s ever shared with me a sandwich before.”

“You’re welcome. My mom always packs me sandwiches and sometimes I get too sick of eating them. I can always share it with you if you like.” Jihoon smiles, feeling happy when he sees Daniel taking a bite. “Do you like it?”

The nod he gets is probably way too enthusiastic, making Jihoon laugh a little that’s soon followed by Daniel’s own.

“You can have this too if you like,” Jihoon says, passing Daniel the pack of gummy bears. “I don’t really like gummy bears, but my dad bought a lot of them so now my mom keeps packing them inside my lunchbox even when I told her I don’t even eat it. Here.” He places it on the older boy’s lap with joyful conviction, his chest making a little jump when he sees Daniel’s eyes widen in shock.

Jihoon’s about to take it back out of anxiousness, an unsure apology already at the tip of his tongue until Daniel looks up at him and gives him what is probably the warmest smile he has ever seen on anyone’s face.

“Thank you,” Daniel says, the pink shade coming back up to taint his cheeks as he adjusts his glasses up his nose. “Gummy bears are my favorite. Thank you so much, Jihoon.”

A huge smile breaks out on his own face then, one that he carries with him for the rest of the day until the bell that signals them that it’s time to go home rings around the school and he waves goodbye and says ‘see you tomorrow’ to Daniel before running over to his dad’s waiting car.

Henceforth, Jihoon’s always asked his mom to pack him gummy bears everyday for school while also making sure his sandwiches are halved each time.

It’s not so much as the sharing of food that’s gotten him closer to the older boy as it is the company that Jihoon finds in him. Food is merely the precursor, and Jihoon will only realize it at a much later stage of his life but the moment his eyes were pulled to the benches under the cherry trees to see how Daniel was doing spoke of a deeper connection that can only be explained as a ruling of fate.

Being friends with Daniel is easy, which says a lot considering how Jihoon is almost always leaning on the shy side and is barely the first to make a friend out of someone. He enjoys talking to him about games and comic books, listening to him share stories about the stray cats he makes friends with on his walks home while he happily chews on the snacks Jihoon shares with him on a daily basis. 

Not only that, but he slowly ceases to hear the whispers of his classmates and instead becomes witness to how some of the other kids gradually open up to their older classmate. And whether it’s the fact that it started all because the others have noticed them hanging out a lot, Jihoon is only happy to see his new friend spreading more smiles like he ought to be.

“I got you a present!” Jihoon excitedly says on the last day of school just before the winter break kicks in, his grin unwavering despite the confused look Daniel gives him during their recess.

"What for?" He asks, staring at the gift box being held in front of him.

"This was supposed to be for Christmas, but you didn't tell me it was your birthday last week so I guess this can be a birthday present too." Jihoon answers like it's the most obvious thing in the world, his joy just on the brim of frothing over when Daniel finally takes the gift from his hands.

"Oh—thank you. You shouldn’t have, Jihoon."

"I wanted to." He beams, the corners of his lips bunching his cheeks. "C'mon, open it!"

Seemingly purred by the excitement in the air, Daniel doesn't wait another second and starts to undo the bow on top of the gift box. He rips off the wrapping paper and reaches in, pulling out the red scarf inside that’s emblazoned with a spider-man insignia on one end. 

“Jihoon...I—” Daniel tries to say, his words trailing off in a weak whisper as he stares at the garment in his hands.

"I picked that out myself. It's a little big, but I think it suits you," Jihoon offers as an explanation, suddenly feeling a bit self-conscious. "Do you like it?"

Daniel just stares at it for a while, running his fingers along the fabric and tracing the embroidered spider-man symbol with his thumb. The small worry Jihoon feels is then amplified the moment the older boy looks up, because he swears he sees his eyes welling up behind his glasses.

"I love it," Daniel says, nodding in earnest. "I really love it. Thank you, Jihoon."

Whatever doubt he had for thinking otherwise is then immediately expelled because Daniel does something he isn’t even remotely expecting. The older boy scoots over his seat, moving closer and wrapping his large arms around him in a tight hug. Despite the cold December air, the warmth brought in by Daniel’s body feels full and whole that it greatly outdoes whatever winter clothes he has on his back as he’s drawn in closer. 

“I didn’t get you anything,” Daniel says when he pulls away, leaving Jihoon cold and wanting more of his warmth. “I’m sorry. You’re always sharing nice things with me but I never have anything for you in return.”

The response that comes for that is automatic, one that Jihoon doesn’t entirely realize the meaning of yet when he answers. “That’s okay hyung, you don’t have to get me anything. I’m happy just knowing you’re happy too.”

And maybe he’s being a little too forward and rash, but none of those nuances matter to anyone their age and Jihoon doesn’t even think twice when he closes the gap between them again and goes in for another hug. He’s sure that whatever he just said couldn’t be any farther from the truth, not when the warmth inside him doubles exponentially at Daniel’s laughter vibrating against his chest.

It’s innocent and pure; the friendship formed by first-graders out in the school courtyard isn’t in line with complicated rocket science. But no matter the purity and genuineness of the moment, no friendship is ever impervious to the hands of change brought by the passing of time.

Only a year later does Samuel completely leave his life when his family moves to America for good, marking an end to their pubescent friendship when the concept of long distance isn’t something tangible at the age of five. Daniel follows soon after when they enter the second grade and they’re split apart into two different classes, and while the distance of two classrooms in the same hallway isn’t nearly as grave as the thousand-kilometer difference of two countries, the walls and doors in between and the people who enter through them still form a rift that feels no different altogether.

Waiting outside each other’s classrooms to spend recess together dwindles in noticeable frequency, from everyday, to a few times a week, to almost never completely. Jihoon eventually stops packing gummy bears to school and soon grows used to only eating half the sandwich that his mom makes him for the day.

He makes a new friend out of Woojin, a boy in his class the same age as him who’s probably the most uncanny equivalent of himself that he can find in another person. He sees Daniel making a lot of new friends too, in the moments he sees him laughing and playing around with a bunch of other boys in the playground he once only stared at from afar.

Come third grade, their interactions are reduced to merely throwing smiles and mouthed hello’s when they pass by each other in the hallway to and from their respective classes. Jihoon still remembers what it’s like to spend time with him by then, and even more so the warm hug they shared that one winter day outside on the courtyard. But as sad as he sometimes gets when he thinks about how that’s not the case anymore, Woojin’s energizing presence is more than enough to keep such thoughts at bay and distract him with the present.

It’s by the time they step into fifth grade that his and Daniel’s paths cross once again by fate putting them into the same class. A chance to finally reconnect, except when Jihoon has mustered up the courage to come over and say hi to the older boy, one of their classmates trip over in front of him that’s all too soon followed by a howl of laughter from the rest of the other kids. And Jihoon, watching from the sidelines, notices two things in that split-second moment: that Daniel’s foot is still extended from underneath where the other boy fell, and how his once warm laughter is the loudest and most obnoxious one in the entire room.

Jihoon sits back down and has never once attempted to say hi to Daniel again after that day. Not in class, not in the hallways, not anywhere nor any time in the days that came after.

  
  
  
  
  


***

  
  
  
  
  


“You done?” 

Jihoon only lets out a hum, scribbling as fast as he can as he copies the numbers and equations from Woojin’s notebook down to his own. His best friend taps his foot impatiently, looking over his back every few seconds like a paranoid mink.

“Hurry up Hoon, I still gotta copy your half.”

“Alright, alright. I’m almost done,” Jihon replies in the same hushed whisper, tuning out the background noise of adolescent chatter all around them and focusing on the high school algebra equations in front of him. When he dots his pen on the final square root of the last equation, he hastily folds up both his and Woojin’s notebooks before sliding it over to him; taking his turn at scouting and checking to see if the teacher’s coming.

“Your handwriting is shit, you know that?” Woojin whines beside him, eyes flicking back and forth over Jihoon’s side of the assignment as he rushes to jot it down. “We’ve been doing each other’s half of math homework for two years now and you _still_ write like you don’t have opposable thumbs.”

Jihoon chuckles, rolling his eyes at his best friend’s complaints. It’s not the first time he’s whining about this issue and he knows it’s definitely not going to be the last. “You can read it, can’t you?” Jihoon comments sarcastically, knowing full well that despite his seeming woes, Woojin knows his handwriting like the back of his own hand.

“I’d be done a lot faster if you just write like a normal human being for once,” Woojin mutters, finishing up in the next second and sliding Jihoon’s notebook back to him with over-exaggerated discretion.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” He winks, earning him a gagged expression from his friend. He can tell Woojin’s about to quip back something clever to that but the moment his mouth opens to speak, a scrunched up ball of paper flies in the space between them, hitting the head of the kid sitting in front of them. The boisterous laughter that follows makes it all too apparent of who’s behind the childish antic.

“Speaking of opposable thumbs,” Woojin whispers instead, rolling his eyes in the direction the paper came from. “The monkeys are loose again.”

“Ya! You saying something there Park?” One of the boys at the back yell. Jihoon inwardly groans.

“Just ignore them Wooj—”

“Yeah and what if I did?” His best friend pipes up, his shrill voice just loud enough to cut a bit of the background chatter in the classroom. Jihoon can hear chairs scraping linoleum and footsteps coming their way, and he curses in his head at Woojin’s own recklessness.

“If you got something to say, why don’t you say it to my face then,” the voice of the kid who called Woojin out says as he towers above their seats, palms cracking knuckles in a display of menace. Jihoon almost gags himself.

“Sorry, Donghan. Not my fault your hearing is slow.” Woojin matches his snide, not even bothering to look up at the egg-head threat. He lets out a scoff, but then hands suddenly fly to the collar of his uniform and he’s harshly pulled up from his seat.

 _Now_ all the chatter dies.

“Say that again Park. I dare you.” Donghan seethes, and Jihoon has to fight hard with himself not to get up and knock both their heads together. He knows Woojin won’t back down and he knows that this’ll only end up with both of them in detention. 

He sighs, knowing that if Woojin ends up in detention, he’d end up doing their next algebra homework all by himself—or at least that’s the reasoning he comes up with for why he turns his head in the direction of Donghan’s pack of friends at the back of the room, meeting the small eyes of the boy merely sitting and watching the spectacle unfold. Jihoon knows from experience that he only has to hold his gaze for a few seconds until—

“Alright, Donghan. That’s enough.” A deep, husky voice calls out, casual yet coming out loud in the hushed classroom. And in just a few seconds, the potential fight breaks apart with Donghan letting go of Woojin’s clothes and angrily waltzing back to his seat. Jihoon finally tears his eyes away from the boy at the back and subsequently directs the same stink eye to his best friend.

“What?” Woojin says, matching his annoyance. Jihoon just lands a backhanded slap on his bicep, mocking a frown.

“Stop acting like a barbarian. You know better than to pick a fight with them.”

Woojin snorts, taking his seat and patting down his uniform. “Yeah well, someone needs to teach those goons a lesson from time to time.”

“Oh you _definitely_ drove your lesson hard on that one, Woojin.” Jihoon laughs, making light of the situation. It works and he gets the same playful slap from his friend.

“I could’ve taken him on, you know. If Daniel didn’t meddle and pull his leash—”

“—then you’d be in detention with a black eye as big as the one you’ll give Donghan.” Jihoon finishes his sentence, rolling his eyes in exasperation. “Save it, Woojin.”

His friend only pouts, muttering a ‘whatever’ under his breath when their teacher finally enters the room. The tension wanes and the dust settles once everyone focuses in class, but Jihoon—try as he may—can’t shake away the feeling of having a pair of eyes staring at the back of his head. It takes everything in him not to turn around for the rest of the day and just follow his own advice of ignoring things that are none of his business.

It’s worked for him in the last five years of sharing the same class as him, and from fifth grade to high school Jihoon’s learned that getting entangled with _that_ side of the classroom spells nothing but trouble for every party involved. Not that Daniel or his friends have ever given _him_ a hard time specifically because as a matter of fact—and as Woojin likes to point out to him from time to time—he’s probably the only person who’s never been at the receiving end of any of their shenanigans before. It’s a fact that Jihoon has persistently tried not to think about or even entertain in the slightest, because it’s been years and his days of having the older boy occupy even a single inch of space in his head is long over.

So it’s definitely without precedent and all perfectly valid (or so he thinks at least) that he’s currently bashing his own forehead on the door of his locker minutes after the last bell had rung to signal the end of their day’s classes. He and Woojin had just gotten off English where their teacher had announced the mechanics of their final project for the year, that of which involves a complete analysis on paper of an English classic to be done with a partner assigned by the teacher herself.

“C’mon Hoon. It’s not _that_ bad.”

Jihoon momentarily pauses from inflicting self-harm to give Woojin the iciest glare he can muster. 

“Okay, maybe it is—but still! Bashing your head in isn’t going to change anything so stop it.” Woojin puts a steady hand on top of his head to keep him from colliding with metal, sighing. “People are starting to look and the last thing you need is for everyone to think that you’re an even bigger weirdo than you already are.”

“Thanks for the positivity, Woojin.” Jihoon swats his hand away, turning back to his locker to actually open it this time and stuff his books in. “Out of all the people in that room, why did I have to be paired with _him?”_

“Well, look at the bright side,” Woojin says, and Jihoon dejectedly turns only to see his friend staring blankly back at him. “Sorry, I can't think of one."

Jihoon rolls his eyes, turning back to his locker. "You're _really_ not helping here."

"Sorry dude." This time Woojin goes for consoling, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I'll try to help you however way I can with the work but I can't help with Daniel being a douchebag."

"I'm a _what?"_

Jihoon freezes with his hand hovering over his history textbook, just the same as he feels Woojin's hand on his shoulder tense up in a tighter grip. They both turn around at the same time to a broad chest and a wide set of shoulders, looking up to see the face of a frowning Daniel.

"Umm, I—" And for all Woojin's headstrong toughness towards his other friends, comes the exact opposite when actually faced with the top alpha. He looks to Jihoon for help, who only slams his locker shut with a loud bang.

"I'll see you tomorrow Woojin," he says, turning around and taking off from the scene much to his friend's wide eyed woes. He'd probably laugh at his face on a normal occasion, but as it is he can't really find it in himself to view anything funny at the moment.

He's about ten steps away from the exit of the school when a deep voice calls from behind, causing a frustrated sigh to escape his chest and a few other students in the hall to turn their direction.

"Hey, wait!"

Jihoon doesn't stop walking and if anything, only picks up his pace. He’s almost out the door—until he feels a hand on his arm pulling him to turn around.

"Jihoon—"

"What?" His voice comes out cold and probably just as deep, a response that’s clearly unexpected if the way Daniel pauses and raises his eyebrows is anything to go by.

“I just wanted to talk to you about the project,” he says after he recovers. “I was thinking that—”

“Look. You don’t have to worry about it, okay? I’ll figure it out and I’ll work on it on my own,” Jihoon says, unable to hold back the eye roll as he turns back around and finally exits the school, leaving a dumbfounded Daniel in his wake.

“Wha—hey, wait a minute!” Daniel catches up easily, and this time he stomps right in front of Jihoon, blocking his way. “We’re assigned as partners. What makes you think I’m just going to let you do all the work here?”

It’s an innocent question, but the frustration that’s been coiling in Jihoon’s head ever since he got out of class earlier finally snaps. A dark chuckle bursts out of his chest; laughter void of any humor.

“Wow. Just—wow.” He shakes his head, eyes wide and incredulous above a sarcastic smile. “You almost had me fooled for a second there. I almost believed that you actually _cared_ about studying.”

The sudden attitude does it, and the expression on Daniel’s face morphs from mild confusion to a similar kind of frustration with drawn eyebrows and a deep frown.

“Alright listen here you little brat—” Daniel steps closer into his space, holding a finger up. “First of all, don’t you dare insinuate whatever it is I care or don’t care about. You’ve never once talked to me and you don’t know me, so stop acting like you do.”

Jihoon takes a step back despite himself when the older boy takes another one forward. Because even though he’s no coward, Daniel’s _still_ a lot bigger than him.

“And second—just in case your little brain didn’t catch it earlier—the only reason Mrs. Lee even paired us together for this damn project is because _one_ of us is flunking English. And I know I’m not the smartest apple in the bunch but I’m pretty damn sure the one failing the class isn’t me. So _forgive_ me when I say that I’m not really comfortable with you working on this project alone.”

That all but knocks the words out of Jihoon’s mouth, which he’s only vaguely aware is left hanging stupidly as he stares up at Daniel. Everything he just said is true and he knows it, the facts instantly turning his frustration into shame that has him looking down at their feet. He hears a sigh and hard click of a tongue, watching as Daniel steps back.

“So can we be professional and talk about the project now? Or do you insist on being a self-righteous brat?”

Jihoon frowns, crossing his arms in disapproval. But whatever fight he had in him had already left his body and frankly, he’s pretty much done arguing.

“What did you have in mind then?” He says, and in the span of a second, Daniel’s frown literally does a complete one-eighty and he’s back to flashing that obnoxious smile of his. Did he just dupe him?

“Alright, since it’s a classical book report I guess we can start by choosing a book to read. Do you have any titles in mind?”

Jihoon can only blink, unsure of what’s more surprising at the moment; Daniel’s sudden shift in mood, or how he sounded really smart just now.

“I don’t really know any English books other than the ones we’re forced to read in class. So...no.”

As if expecting his answer, Daniel just purses his lips tight and gives him a nod. “Okay, I’ll choose one for us then. I have a few in mind and I think the library should be able to have them.”

He never thought he’d see the day the word _library_ coming out of Daniel’s mouth like it did just now, and he shakes his head at the strange and foreign endearment to it. Staying focused.

“Okay. We can go and start working on it after class tomorrow,” he says, another surprise coming his way when Daniel suddenly scratches at the top of his head. And Jihoon can’t be too sure but—is he actually being _shy?_

“That’s...actually one of the things I wanted to talk to you about.” He starts, his voice lilting. “There’s really no other way for me to say this so I’m just gonna be frank with you: I don’t really want us working on this project in a... _public_ place. Like the library, for instance.”

Jihoon frowns, tightening the crossed position of his arms. “Why?”

“No reason.” Daniel says, clearly a lie. “I promise I can give us a good grade for this, and I’ll do more than my fair share of work too. You can count on me for that but—I want us to work in private.”

Jihoon’s eyebrows only dip lower, but he shakes his head at the questions bombarding his brain for this weird request he’s getting. He doesn’t need to know so he shouldn't even bother wasting his energy trying to. “So where do you suggest we work then?”

He regrets asking that the second the words come out, because it’s clear from Daniel’s face that he’s already planned out this entire conversation in his head. He’s right, he _is_ being duped.

“I can go to your place,” Daniel says, and Jihoon swears he’s really trying to break the record for the most number of ridiculous things to say in a single discussion.

“What?”

“I promise I won’t be rowdy. I’ll behave and—”

“Why does it have to be at my place then?? Can’t we work at yours? I mean, _you’re_ the one who doesn’t want to work in public here.”

“I know, I know.” Daniel nods, lips tight. “But our house is under renovation right now and it’s really messy. There wouldn’t be any place for us to work in anyway so…”

This is unbelievable. For the life of him, Jihoon honestly can’t wrap his head around how he went from being a complete stranger to Daniel to him suddenly asking to come over _his_ house all in the span of a single school day. He rubs at his temples, letting out the largest sigh that’s welled up in his chest since earlier.

“Alright. Fine.” He concedes, much to the older boy’s amusement. “This Friday, then. I’ll tell my parents.”

“Great! That settles it then. Let me handle the book hunt, okay? I’ll meet you outside school on Friday after class.”

It’s a little freaky to think how much of this he was expecting to turn into, pushing Jihoon’s frown into the borders of a scowl. "I swear, if this is one of your stupid pranks—"

"It's not." Daniel puts both hands in front of him in a show of innocence, albeit flashing a smile that's anything but. "I promise it's not."

Jihoon stares up at him for a long while, eventually conceding with a hard nod. It's not like he has a lot of options on the matter, and as long as Daniel stays true to his words and keeps his end of the bargain, there shouldn't be any problems. He can at least put up with that.

Explaining it to his best friend, however, is another matter entirely.

"What?!" Woojin blurts out after his excessive coughing spiel. He'd been drinking from his carton of milk where they're having lunch at the cafeteria when Jihoon gave him the news; his reaction completely over the top but otherwise expected.

"Daniel's coming over to my house this Friday to work on our project, so we're gonna have to move game night—"

"Yeah, yeah I get that part. What I _don't_ understand is how in the world did that conversation yesterday go from you two ignoring each other to him suddenly coming over to your place this Friday?"

Jihoon lets out a sigh, putting his metal chopsticks down as he too takes a swig of his banana milk. “Look, I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around the whole thing myself, okay? But I figured that this is better because the sooner we get started on this damn book report, the sooner we’ll finish and be out of each other’s hair. I’ll just have to put up with him for a few weeks at most.”

He’s rehearsed this explanation in his head for the better part of his time the night before but saying it out loud now just makes it sound all the more ridiculous. Woojin just stares at him, his frown unletting.

“There’s something you’re not telling me,” he says, a flat statement as opposed to a question. Jihoon feels his heart spike. “Yesterday you were bashing your head on your locker like an idiot just minutes after you found out you were paired for this project, and now the devil-incarnate himself is asking to come over to _your_ house and you think it’s okay?”

He knew Woojin wouldn’t buy it, even if it is the truth. Technically it’s not the _whole_ truth, and as much as he wants his best friend to get off his back, he really doesn’t want to talk or even _think_ about details that aren’t relevant to the issue at hand.

“I think you’re just watching way too many Detective Conan reruns,” he says instead, picking his chopsticks back up and going back to his lunch.

“Okay, suppose I believe this whole narrative of you just suddenly being okay with working with that jackass for a school project.” Woojin leans forward with his elbows on the table, eyeing him down. “How do you know you can trust him? What if he’s just playing you for the fool that I think you’re being?”

"Yah!" Jihoon juts his chin out into a pout, but the threat is senseless when he can't even look Woojin in the eye for more than a few seconds. It's one of the things he's trying not to think about but being asked about it now is bringing the image of Daniel's face from yesterday back into the forefront of his mind. He has no idea how he can even begin to explain to Woojin that he trusts him simply from what he saw in his expression then.

“I don’t really have that much of a choice, Woojin,” he says instead, shaking his head. “It’s either I fight it over with him and we make it harder for ourselves, or I just suck it up and go with it. And either way, if he’s going to be a jerk about this and play me, I can always tell Mrs. Lee.”

This time it looks like the excuse pulls though, and Woojin finally leans back on his chair with a sigh. Jihoon knows he’s just being a good friend, and he appreciates that. So he flashes him a smile to take away some of the tension he must be feeling for him.

“Relax, Woojin. I can take care of myself.”

He eventually gets a smile back, but the moment of peace is short-lived and deftly broken when the cafeteria doors open to make way for hell. Speak of the devil, as they say, and the analogy isn’t too far off when Daniel waltzes inside the hall with a bunch of his loud and obnoxious cronies bringing the smell of the outdoor sun and cigarette smoke with them. Jihoon ignores them like he always does, but he still sees how Donghan purposely walks past their table so his backpack hits the top of Woojin’s head. 

Jihoon acts fast from there, reaching over and stuffing a huge chunk of kimchi inside Woojin’s already open mouth before he can even yell or say anything.

The week goes by relatively normal, and neither of them bring up the discussion again. Before he realizes it, it’s already Friday and the last bell is making its final echo to usher everyone into the weekend; something Jihoon normally looks forward to same as everyone else but as it is, he’s out here sitting at the bus stop waiting for his partner after seeing the note inside his locker that they just meet up here. Excitement is the last emotion he’s feeling right now.

“How does he even know you take this stop? Heck, you’re the _only one_ I know who actually rides here.” Woojin pipes up from beside him, and Jihoon lets him take the full brunt of the annoyance for the both of them.

“You don’t have to wait with me, you know.”

“Yeah well, I wanna make sure he’s not up to anything stupid.”

Jihoon’s about to say that they’ve already talked about this, but the words die in his mouth when he sees the person in question running towards them from their right. He and Woojin get up then, and Jihoon braces himself for whatever that could happen.

“Hey. Sorry, did you wait long?” Daniel says, panting a little. He looks to the side and only notices Woojin with him in the next second, confusion painting his small eyes. “Oh, is he coming along too?”

“No, he was just leaving.” Jihoon rushes out before his best friend can even draw a breath to say anything. He turns to him, raises an eyebrow and nods. Woojin just snorts.

“Call me if he does anything,” he mumbles under his breath before shouldering his backpack and walking back the other way without another glance. Thankfully Jihoon’s saved from any more awkwardness when the bus drives in at the next moment and stops in front of them.

“Let’s go,” Jihoon says, going ahead and climbing up the steps. When Daniel takes the seat next to him after he sits down, his senses are hit by a strong smell of cologne that he realizes is coming off from the body next to him. It’s not that it smells terrible, because it isn’t. It’s just strange considering he doesn’t remember him smelling this nice when they talked a few days ago.

“Are your parents home?” Daniel suddenly asks, catching him by surprise.

“Umm, yeah. My mom is. My dad gets off work just a little before seven so he’s probably not there yet. Why?”

Daniel purses his lips, shaking his head coyly. “No reason.”

Neither of them talk or even make a sound for the rest of the journey, and it’s only when they're nearing their stop that any sort of interaction happens via Jihoon nudging his companion that they need to get down.

It’s a pretty short walk from the bus stop to his house from there, and Jihoon is mostly walking ahead and leading the way that he doesn’t at all notice the change until the very last minute when they’re just about to turn the corner to his street. Daniel’s hair is patted down from the bushy mess that it was just moments earlier and the buttons of his uniform are all fastened right up to the collar. It’s an entire world’s difference from his usual image of messy and barely-caring that it makes Jihoon stop in his tracks to stare.

“What are you doing?” The question is out of his mouth before he can even stop himself, earning him a mildly shy expression from the older boy.

“I don’t want to make a bad impression,” is all he says, looping both straps of his grungy, camo backpack over his shoulders. That explains the cologne then.

“Whatever. C’mon we’re almost there.”

It’s just a couple more blocks and soon Jihoon is walking up to the gate of their compound and pressing in the keycode on the electronic lock. A beep and a click, and the system opens up the pedestrian gate at which point starts the cobblestone path up to their front porch. He turns to look behind him to see Daniel still standing outside, staring up at their house with his mouth slightly open.

“Daniel, hey.” Jihoon calls out, snapping him back. “What are you doing? Let’s go.”

“Right. Sorry.” He quickly catches up with him, and Jihoon can see from the corner of his eye how he’s still craning his neck left and right to check out the place. It reminds him of Woojin’s first time here, and the next words out of his mouth are barely a surprise. "This is where you live?"

“My dad’s an architect and my mom does interior design." Jihoon nods as a way to explain the grandeur that’s really just the normalcy of his own home. It doesn’t stop Daniel’s jaw from dropping even further though, once they actually pass through the front door and step inside.

“Jihoonie? Is that you?” A voice calls in from the kitchen, and Jihoon slightly cringes at the nickname when his mom walks out through the doorway. “Oh, and you must be Daniel.”

To his surprise, Jihoon feels rather than sees Daniel’s full ninety-degree bow from beside him—yet another thing to add to the list of uncharacteristic behaviour he seems to want to show off today.

“Yes, hello. It’s nice to meet you Mrs. Park. I, umm—brought a little something for your home.”

Jihoon almost thinks he’s hearing things until Daniel takes off his backpack and pulls out a medium-sized tupperware container along with a golden box of Ferrero Rocher chocolates from it’s depths. Both he and his mom’s eyes widen perceptibly, but Jihoon thinks the shock is probably hitting him more at this front.

“It’s uhh, some red bean paste. My mom and I make them and it’s very good to spread on toast. And I also bought some chocolates for your table.”

For some reason, Jihoon is beginning to feel a little small—something he never thought he’d feel inside his own house. He can only imagine the look on Woojin’s face when he tells him about this.

“Oh, Daniel. This is so thoughtful of you,” his mom says, taking the stuff from Daniel’s hands. “Thank you, dear.” 

Daniel smiles to that, wide and bright that makes the front of his teeth stand out a little. And as much as Jihoon doesn’t want to think about it, the sight jostles an image from his memory of a boy who smiled like the sun with a pack of gummy bears in his hands.

“Mom, we have stuff to do,” Jihoon says, breaking their little moment—if only to stray him far from his own thoughts as well.

“Right, don’t let me keep you.” His mom beams, nodding along and turning back to Daniel. “There are snacks up in Jihoonie’s room, so feel free to eat and make yourself at home, okay?”

Jihoon’s already halfway up the stairs taking two steps at a time when he hears Daniel answer, not waiting when he hears footsteps following him right after. Of all the things he thought would unfold the moment he even thought about bringing Daniel here, whatever that just happened wasn’t on the list.

They finally enter his room and unsurprisingly, Daniel’s expression transforms to awe that’s not unlike the one he was sporting outside on their front lawn. Jihoon knows he’s a little bit on the privileged side, and based on Woojin’s own reaction when he first brought him here back when they were kids, he knows what his bedroom probably looks like to the eyes of other people. 

“You can put your bag down anywhere except the bed. Snacks are on the coffee table and drinks are in the mini fridge. Just help yourself,” Jihoon drones on, shedding his own stuff and grabbing a notepad and a pen from his desk. When he turns back around Daniel is still standing by the door, eyes scanning and gaping. 

“Ya, Daniel.” Jihoon snaps him out of it again, feeling a little self-conscious himself. Maybe he should’ve taken this whole thing to the study instead.

“S-sorry. It’s just—you have a nice room,” he says, a sheepish smile coming up to turn his lips. He walks over to the small sitting area and crosses his legs down on the floor, taking out a book and his own notepad from his backpack. “Should we get started?”

“That’s what you’re here for.” Jihoon joins him on the floor, and his eyes land on the book Daniel brought with him. “Romeo and Juliet?”

“You know it?” The older boy raises an excited eyebrow, curious. 

“Not really. I mean, I’ve never read it if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Ah.” Daniel picks up the book, fanning along the pages with his thumb. “I’ve read this a long time ago, and it’s actually one of my favorites. I’m pretty sure a lot of the others from our class would probably pick this book to report on too, but I bet we can make the best out of everyone,” he says, his excitement and drive almost palpable that it wafts off as another surprise to Jihoon yet again. It’s like he’s sitting with a totally different person; the complete opposite of the popular troublemaker on campus.

“You didn’t have to do that you know. The stuff you brought,” Jihoon finds himself saying, tracing back to earlier when Daniel met his mom. “I don’t tell my parents about you or the things you do at school. You don’t have to pretend this hard.”

Somehow that pulls at the smile Daniel has on, just enough that it doesn’t quite reach his ears anymore and for his earlier excitement to slowly stop seeping off.

“I wasn’t pretending,” is all Daniel says, and there’s a small sliver of guilt that worms its way into Jihoon’s chest when he sees his smile drop off completely. Daniel puts the book back down on the table and opens his notepad, clicking his pen. “We should start working. Why don’t you go ahead and read the book first? Since I’ve read it before, I can start on making our report outline with what I remember and we can jump on from there.”

Jihoon hums an okay, nodding and grabbing the novel and taking it with him as he sits on his small couch. He tries to tamp down the weird and heavy pull he feels tugging inside his gut just as he avoids looking at Daniel’s obvious fallen expression when he starts writing down on his notes. He places the open face of the book in front of him so his vision only consists of letters and paragraphs as he starts to read.

This is why Daniel’s here, he reminds himself. They have school work to do and that’s all he should be focusing on—not at how quiet he’s suddenly gotten and definitely not on the face he made when he said what he said.

Jihoon’s not entirely sure how it happens, but knowing himself he can’t really say he’s all that surprised. One moment he's reading an in-depth description of fourteenth century Verona, and the next thing he knows he’s being shaken to a stir by a large pair of hands. 

“Jihoon? Hey, you awake?”

Jihoon groggily opens his eyes and meets with a pair of small ones behind a set of round-framed glasses. And for a moment he thinks he’s dreaming, because the image he sees in front of him is of someone from his past that’s so familiar and fond to him that it’s just not possible for him to be looking at in the present.

“Jihoon?”

He blinks and realization kicks in, shooting an arrow of heat straight to his chest that spreads and travels all the way up to his ears. He sits up abruptly, almost knocking heads with the other boy as he barely swerves away in time from his direction. 

“W-what time is it?” He asks, his eyes instinctively going to the wall clock just above his desk on the other side of the room.

“It’s only six.” Daniel answers him anyway—and Jihoon can’t be too sure in his state but he thinks he’s looking a little flushed himself. “I, umm—I didn’t want to wake you, but your mom came in just now to check on us.”

“Oh.” Jihoon rubs his eyes, blinking hard three times and shaking his head a little.

“Yeah. Umm, she asked me if I wanted to stay for dinner,” Daniel continues, eyes never leaving him as if waiting for a reaction. “I told her I’d ask my mom but...I figured I should probably ask you first.”

Jihoon frowns, the strange statement giving him the courage to meet his eyes. “What? Why?”

And the moment he asks, it becomes clear to him. Clear how Daniel knows he doesn’t belong here, clear that he’s still thinking about what he offhandedly commented on earlier right before he passed out in his reading. Jihoon suddenly feels like the most terrible human being on the planet.

“I—sorry. I should’ve said no right away. I’ll umm, just go down and tell your mom that I can’t—”

“Stay.” Jihoon cuts him off, although his eyes are set down on a loose thread poking out of his socks. “It’s okay, you can stay if you want. I don’t mind.”

“Are you sure?” Daniel asks, his doubt apparent. “I mean, you don’t have to say yes just because…” He trails off, and a part of Jihoon almost dies at the thought of what he means by that sentence.

“I’m sure.” He gets up then, straightening his clothes and shaking away the last remnants of sleep from his body. “Did my mom say when dinner will be ready?”

“Umm, she just mentioned we can head down in about five minutes.”

Jihoon nods then, offering a hand to help Daniel up from the floor. “Let’s go then.”

It isn’t strange nor is it uncommon for the Park household to have someone over for dinner. In fact, Woojin has stayed over _so many times_ in the past that he’s reached the point where he helps Jihoon’s mom in cooking their meals. Not to mention the countless number of sleepovers they’ve had, some of which even stretching for consecutive days during the summer and winter breaks. Woojin is practically a second child to Jihoon’s parents and it’s a pretty common sight for him to see them all at the dinner table, smiling and laughing and talking about everything and nothing.

But that’s Woojin, Jihoon’s best friend and borderline twin soul. So for him to see his mom cooing over Daniel’s strange habit of smelling his food and praising its aromas before putting it in his mouth, and watching him animatedly talk to his dad about the latest baseball and soccer games of the current season _and_ making the entire table laugh with elementary-grade dinner table jokes—it’s no less short-circuiting Jihoon’s brain and putting to debate whether or not he’s woken up in some kind of parallel universe where the laws and norms he’s grown accustomed to simply turned upside down.

Because there’s just no way of explaining how Daniel is beaming with joy all night, cracking the largest of smiles that show off the crookedness of his teeth all the while his eyes disappear beneath his crescent lids. There’s no science to back up and justify how Jihoon—even when completely against his better judgement—is also laughing along and drowning in his own breathlessness every time the older boy quips up a remark that’s both childlike and humorous at the same time. 

It’s all way beyond his level of comprehension that midway through the night, as he watches the backs of Daniel and his dad washing dishes while he and his mom clear the table, he’s more over sold himself to the belief that this person just can’t possibly be the same boy who loves picking on others at school; the boy who seemingly couldn’t care less about being good in general nor the boy Jihoon hated when their English teacher called their names for this project.

The night ends much too soon for everyone's liking, and the only way Daniel even manages to leave his parents' grasp is the promise of coming over again soon. Jihoon's walking him back to the bus stop now, his cheeks prominently aching as he continues to laugh and smile at one of Daniel's tales of trouble that he obviously couldn’t let out back at the dinner table.

"Oh my god, that was you?" Jihoon wheezes, just on the verge of tears as Daniel nods and leans a playful arm against him.

"I took one of the paint buckets from the janitor's closet and did the entire drawing ten minutes before they unfolded the tarp in front of everyone."

Jihoon remembers that day at the school assembly almost a year back, when they were all gathered at the auditorium for the student council elections and one of the running party's slogans suddenly unfolded to a farting stick figure dashing at a run by methane.

"That was mean you know. They worked hard on that slogan," Jihoon says, although the cheshire-cat smile still plastered on his face tells just how much he means that statement.

"Yeah well, no one was gonna vote for them anyway. I mean, who makes an election platform for their fellow students promising more homework and longer school hours??"

Jihoon chuckles some more, nodding his assent. By the time his hysterics have watered down to drunken giggles, the bus stop remains just a few steps away. Daniel takes the empty bench, catching his breath from all the laughing and patting the space next to him for Jihoon to take. 

"Thanks for umm—for tonight," Daniel starts to say, his sudden shyness a stark contrast to their conversation just seconds ago. "I had a really good time. Your family's incredible."

"We're not usually this lively you know. That was all on you, Kang." Jihoon bumps elbows with him, causing him to sidle up a little closer to his space in the process. 

“Yeah, I guess it’s just—umm. You’re going to think I’m really cheesy for even saying this but when I woke up this morning, I never imagined my day would end this well.”

Jihoon turns to see a small smile thrown his way, one he doesn’t hesitate on returning himself. “Same here. I never thought I’d enjoy having you over as much as I did.”

A comfortable kind of quiet falls between them then, blanketed by the cold, night air and the subdued hum of the fluorescent light above the bus stop. Jihoon looks down and watches their feet on the pavement, at the way Daniel has his legs stretched all the way in front of him while his own is bent close to himself and barely reaching the other's stride. The silence drifts his thoughts to earlier and even farther up to a few days ago, and suddenly the familiar feeling of guilt rears its ugly head again.

“Hey. Daniel?”

The older boy hums and turns, but Jihoon just keeps his eyes on the ground.

“I owe you an apology,” he says, slow and enunciated with a matching nod. “The things I said earlier...and even before, when we talked behind the school—I wasn’t being fair in judging you like that. I’m sorry.” 

It lifts some of the weight off his chest, and even more so when he feels and hears Daniel letting out a soft chuckle beside him.

“You had every right to judge me, Jihoon. It’s not your fault if you see me a certain way, especially since I haven’t exactly been the nicest person to be around with.”

Jihoon lets that sink in for a moment, and it vaguely dawns on him how Daniel seems fully aware of the two sides of himself that have been confusing him all night. Jihoon stretches his legs in front of him then, watching pensively how his feet can’t even reach where Daniel’s are.

“Still,” Jihoon says with conviction. “I regret everything I said. You’re, umm—a lot cooler than I gave you credit for.”

Daniel chuckles again, the act involuntarily pulling his legs toward him where it lands directly in line with Jihoon’s; meeting him halfway.

“I’ll take that any day. Thank you,” he says with a short nod, a smile to his words. “I’m sorry too—for calling you a brat. After coming over tonight, I think that's probably the last thing anyone can use to describe you.”

"Speaking of you coming over, I still feel really terrible you know." Jihoon laments, his lips going into an instinctive pout. "We were supposed to work on our book report, and I barely did anything."

A hand flies to his knee then and Jihoon jumps a little when Daniel starts doubling over in another wave of laughter. He's slowly starting to get a sense of just how gleeful he can be—not that he minds.

"It's okay, we have lots of time to work on it. And besides, I got quite a bit done for us earlier so today wasn’t a total waste."

“Yeah but we’re supposed to be partners,” Jihoon whines, knocking his elbow on Daniel’s arm. “I can’t just take a nap and let you do all the work. You really should’ve woken me up.”

He doesn’t know whether it’s a good thing or not that Daniel just keeps giggling at him, or how the hand on his knee hasn’t left or pulled itself back but strangely, he finds that he doesn’t mind it either.

“You looked really tired, I didn’t have the heart to wake you.”

Jihoon just rolls his eyes at that, if only to hide the flush he feels rising up his face. He’s saved further when they finally see the bus turning the corner and nearing just a few meters away. 

“Tell you what,” Daniel continues as he gets up from the bench, shouldering his backpack over. “You can make it up to me by reading at least five chapters this weekend. Deal?”

He’s worded it into a challenge, one that Jihoon can’t possibly back down on. “Deal.”

“I’ll be quizzing you. And you better not be reading summaries at wikipedia.” Daniel chuckles, just as the bus stops and opens its doors for him. “See you on Monday?”

Jihoon only nods at this point, getting off the bench himself and waving a goodbye. “See you.”

Their gazes hold for a couple of seconds, and Jihoon feels that there are so many unsaid words floating in the air between them just now. He clamps his lips shut to keep himself from spilling anything more tonight though, especially when Daniel’s foot is already on the first step of the bus.

“Goodnight Jihoonie,” the older boy says in finality, throwing his signature smile and a small laugh when Jihoon furiously turns pink at the name. The doors close and the bus starts to move, and Jihoon is left with the image of a grinning Daniel chasing a final wave of goodbye through the windows. 

His hands go up to wrap around his arms after the bus leaves the street, not because of the chill of the night, but because he wants to hold and keep the warmth he feels coursing inside him just then; one that feels full and bright and immensely familiar.

When Woojin comes over the next day, Jihoon has no idea how to even explain everything that happened the day before. He hopes that turning on the new game in his console the moment his best friend waltzes into his room provides enough of a distraction to steer them away from the topic altogether. And while it does work for a while—with Woojin constantly spazzing about how awesome the graphics of the game is—the escape tactic can only stretch for so long until it fizzles out its effectiveness.

“Hey, you still haven’t told me what happened yesterday,” Woojin casually muses as another _game over_ paints the screen of Jihoon’s TV, bringing his attention back to him. Jihoon’s hardly been paying him any mind nor his gaming when all his focus is directed at the book he’s trying to read and not fall asleep to, but his attention is quickly diverted now that the elephant in the room is being addressed.

“Hm?” He plays it cool, not letting slip that he’s been going over the same paragraph for the third time without a single word entering his comprehension.

“How’d things go with Daniel?” Woojin goes straight for it, closing off and leaving no route open for bullshit. Jihoon figures that he can go about this in two ways; lying to his best friend (and risk getting caught) to buy himself more time in figuring out how he exactly feels about yesterday, or just come clean and relay the truth.

The second of hesitation, however, is enough to tick the bells inside his best friend’s head and he sees Woojin promptly putting the controller down and raising a curious eyebrow at him. 

“Things were...okay? I guess?” Comes his pathetic answer, still keeping the pretense of reading the book in his hands.

“Okay? You’re gonna have to be more specific than that, Hoon.”

“I just mean it’s okay,” he repeats, nodding for maximum effect. “Like—Daniel was actually pretty nice and—”

“The hell?!” 

Jihoon flinches, and he peeks over the top of his book to see Woojin throwing him a look that’s a mix between incredulity and disgust. More on disgust.

“The words _Daniel_ and _nice_ don’t exactly go well together in the same sentence, unless you’re talking about a different person.”

He finally closes the novel, sighing as he pats it down over his lap. “I know, I know. Those are—or _were_ — my exact thoughts too. And I don’t know how else to explain it Woojin but when he was here yesterday it’s like...it’s like he was a completely different person.”

It feels a little nice, he’s not going to lie, to speak out that thought that’s been floating around in his head all through last night. It still doesn’t make sense to him though, but seeing Woojin’s confused and baffled expression across from him at least validates that yes, he’s not alone in feeling this way.

“You’re shitting me. I mean that’s the only reasonable explanation for this. You’re shitting me, right?”

Jihoon rolls his eyes, sighing. “I wish I were? Kind of? But I’m telling you the truth. You can even ask my parents. When he stayed over for dinner last night—”

“He stayed for dinner?!”

Jihoon gestures with his hands, proving a point. “See? I’m just as confused as you are and I don’t really get it either, but he did and it really happened. That red bean toast we had earlier?” Jihoon points to the empty plate on his coffee table. “That was from Daniel. He brought that with him and pulled out an entire tupperware of it to give to my mom the moment he walked in. Not to mention that he even did most of the work on our project yesterday ‘cause I fell asleep reading this damn thing, and not once did he complain or even wake me up for it.”

Woojin only blinks at him then, mouth hanging slightly open as he tries to process this influx of information. And Jihoon understands because he knows that if the situation was reversed, he’d most likely react the same way too.

“I don’t get it,” is all Woojin can manage to say, crossing his arms and frowning in disbelief. “I _really_ don't get it. There’s gotta be an angle to this, something we’re not seeing. If it wasn't clear to me before then it’s definitely clear now—that the jackass is up to something."

This is the part where Jihoon just offers his silence and a neutral nod, because he doesn’t think saying that he somehow _believes_ in the version of Daniel he’d been privy to yesterday will get his best friend to doubt him any less. Woojin has no way of seeing him in an otherwise different light—has no way of having a basis for comparison. 

On the other hand though, a part of him _does_ want to tell Woojin otherwise. Simply because he wants for another person to see this side of him, that there’s no scheming or ulterior motive to the warmth and kindness he exuded yesterday.

“Or maybe he’s actually a really nice guy underneath all his, umm—” Jihoon tries, and he’s probably not doing a very good job at it when he can’t even look Woojin in the eye as he does. Sure enough, his best friend merely shakes his head at him, picking the controller back up and going back to his game

“I’ll believe it when I see it, Hoon. I’ll believe it when I see it.”

It’s a fair enough judgment to make, albeit it being an impossible deduction to witness because when the weekend passes and they’re back in school bright and early on a groggy Monday morning, the very first thing he and Woojin are greeted with when they enter their classroom is the sight of Daniel and his friends terrorizing one of their classmates; the older boy is using the might of his height to hold the kid’s backpack out of his reach while the rest of his cronies taunt him to a game of piñata. 

Woojin just drags his eyes over the scene and gives him a bemused expression, and even though the bullying stops ever so timely just as they step inside, Jihoon still can’t shake away the thought that maybe Woojin is right.

For the better part of the last couple of years of being in the same class as him, he’s never really paid that much attention to Daniel nor the trouble he brings and gets into. Now, however—especially after spending that Friday with him—Jihoon’s awareness of the older boy escalates to a level he can’t really ignore and look away from.

And the feeling escalates like this, stretching to the days of the week in absolute consistency. For every spitwad coming from the back of the room that traps itself into the hair of one of the quiet girls in their class; the smell of smoke and nicotine during lunch when Jihoon so much as breathes into a five-meter radius of their rowdy group; for every moment the sea of students in the hall part in silenced fear with the passing of the alpha dog and his minions; for every loud howl of obnoxious laughter that’s far from the warm chuckles and light giggles of last Friday night—the seemingly blurred line that separates the two facets of Daniel is as solid as a permanent marker again.

Needless to say, when a folded note falls as Jihoon opens his locker the following Friday—holding a messy scrawl of _‘I’ll see you at your bus stop later :P’—_ he’s feeling a lot less enthused and a whole lot conflicted and annoyed than he ought to be.

Woojin doesn’t wait with him this week on account that his parents picked him up from school just minutes earlier for their weekend trip to his grandparents’ place. Of all the times he actually _does_ want his best friend’s company as he waits for the devil; Jihoon can only sigh in frustration.

“Yo!”

And so it begins. Jihoon feels his nerves grating at the sound of the older boy’s voice and he just turns his head a smidge to give him a polite smile.

“I bought some more chocolates today,” Daniel says, his tone a little proud. “The 7-11 across school ran out of Ferrero’s though. Do your parents like Cadbury? If not I can go run back and change—”

“It’s fine, Daniel.” It comes out curt and abrupt, just slightly dripping with ice. “And you don’t have to keep buying chocolates every time you come over, you know. Our house has more than what you could ever think of getting from the convenient store.”

Jihoon is never pompous about the things their family owns, but the heated nerve of annoyance at the back of his head that’s been straining all week long is making him say things he normally wouldn’t. It effectively shuts Daniel up in all manner and form, and all he does in response is nod as they quietly wait for the bus to arrive.

The entire journey is quiet, save for one point midway when Daniel pulls out a small pack of gummy bears from his bag and asks Jihoon if he wants some. And maybe the scalding heat he’s harboring runs a lot deeper than he thought because he just downright ignores him without even giving him an answer. He stares at the familiar passing scenery outside the window the whole time, ignoring the way Daniel quietly eats his candy.

Jihoon only becomes fully aware of just how much this cold game he's playing actually affects the older boy when they make it to his house and greet his mother at the foyer. Daniel’s already done the same shift as last week when he turns into his good-boy persona—all bright smiles and polite bows and all—but when Jihoon notices that he doesn't even bring out the chocolates he mentioned buying earlier, he knows he's probably hit a nerve.

"Did you manage to read up like I told you to?" Daniel asks once they're in his room, the first words either of them speak to each other since getting off the bus. The question is as good a reminder as any for how he needs to be professional about this, so Jihoon nods along as he takes a seat.

"I've read about a quarter of the way now. But—" He bites his lips, his pride deflating a little. "I, umm—couldn't understand some parts, to be honest. A lot of the words were too big and even when I looked it up in the dictionary, I couldn't really grasp the context of it in writing."

Daniel only nods at him, not even looking in his direction as he pulls out his notes from his backpack. He clicks a pen and flips to a blank page, scribbling the word ‘plot points’ in his messy handwriting.

“I borrowed another copy of the book so I can re-read the novel too. I had to get this from the public library since the librarian at school said all the copies we had in campus were already logged out,” he says, pulling out one final thing from his backpack that Jihoon pointedly stares at—it’s a faded, black hard case, and Daniel flips it open to take out and wear his glasses. “Anyway, can you tell me which parts you got confused in? I can summarize it for you so you can understand it better.”

Jihoon only blinks at him, and he’s only made aware that he’s staring blankly when he takes too long to answer and Daniel finally looks up to meet his eyes. It’s jarring, and Jihoon legitimately feels a whiplash coming solely from the sight in front of him. The words he’d said to Woojin the other week of how Daniel turns into a _completely_ different person couldn’t possibly echo so much truth, and although he’s seen him wear his glasses before, it’s way different now that he’s actually fully awake and staring no less than a few feet away.

“Jihoon? Did you hear what I just said?”

“Uh—y-yeah. Sorry, umm—” He opens his copy of the book, hoping the heat he feels rising up his ears isn’t too visible. “The part where Romeo first meets Juliet. At the masquerade party.”

Daniel breaks his gaze and turns back to his notes without missing a beat, as if the little awkward pause just now didn’t even happen. Jihoon schools himself to focus then, trying not to stare too hard when Daniel begins to explain to him how the scene played out and what it meant for the overall story. 

It’s all strictly business from then on, the kind of work that so befits the purpose of them being here in the first place. Daniel doesn’t lapse into anything besides droning on about the subject at hand, even when Jihoon makes the occasional snide remarks about how ridiculous he thinks Romeo and Juliet’s characters are in the story or how some of the events that take place are way too dramatic. Daniel either ignores such comments entirely, or shifts the otherwise playful thoughts into seriousness. 

The atmosphere is cold as the afternoon stretches into evening, and probably the only positive thing to come out of this forced kind of concentration is that they’re actually making a lot of progress with the project. The selfish annoyance Jihoon had been feeling earlier also doesn’t have the capacity to grow any further since all his attention is centered on just keeping up with Daniel’s words that by the time he hears a knock on his door, he’s feeling much more level-headed than he’d been the entire afternoon.

“How’s the report coming along boys?” His mom asks when she opens and peeks her head in from the door. And Jihoon belatedly realizes it but it’s only now that he sees Daniel cracking his first smile since they started earlier.

“Oh, we just finished for the day, Mrs. Park. We managed to get a lot covered.”

“That’s great! You two must be hungry then. You’ll be staying again for dinner, won’t you Daniel?”

Jihoon doesn’t really know what he was expecting to hear, but the sudden disappointment that sinks in his stomach when he sees Daniel shake his head feels completely unfounded.

“Ah, I’d love to...but my mom just called and asked me not to stay out too late tonight. I kinda have to help out with a few errands back home.”

Jihoon widens his eyes a little in surprise. He’s pretty sure he didn’t fall asleep at all this time just as he’s sure that Daniel didn’t make any calls just now.

“Oh that’s a shame. We were looking forward to having you join us tonight.”

“Ah, I’m sorry Mrs. Park. I really want to stay too but I already promised my mom.”

Jihoon’s mom just gives him a nod, right before her smile brightens up again with an idea. “At least let me pack you some of the jjigae I made. I’ll have it ready when you come down, okay?”

“Oh, that’s okay, really—”

“I’m not taking no for an answer, Daniel.” His mom beams a playful smile, waving a finger. “You can share it with your family when you get home, okay?”

Daniel only lets out a soft chuckle and a nod then, bowing low and muttering a thank you before Jihoon’s mom closes the door on her leave. Jihoon on the other hand hasn’t torn his eyes away from the older boy, and when their gaze meets again he doesn’t bite his tongue from the words he wants to say.

“Why did you lie?”

It comes out heavy and flat, and to his further amazement, Daniel just turns back to where his stuff is and ignores him.

“Hey. I asked you a question. Why did you—”

“I think you’re forgetting who I am, Jihoon.” Daniel cuts him off, not even sparing him a glance as he rather angrily starts packing up his things. “Lying is second-nature to me. And it doesn’t matter who I’m giving it to.”

The bluntness stuns him a little, marking a deeper frown. “My mom is literally packing you dinner right now and you actually have the _audacity_ to say that?”

Daniel gets up then, loudly zipping his bag and slinging it over his shoulder as he towers in front of him.

“Stop pretending so hard. Isn’t that what you told me?” Daniel says, the venom seeping off his voice almost bruning holes through the carpet of Jihoon’s bedroom. “I’m only taking your advice, Jihoon. So stop acting so surprised.”

Whatever words Jihoon wanted to say completely die in his mouth and he’s left with a swirl of mismatched emotions storming away in his chest. Anger, guilt; confusion and hurt. The frown Daniel has on isn’t helping and if anything, only amplifies his speechlessness.

“I won’t be able to come over next week, just to let you know.” Daniel talks over his silence, reverting back to the same professional tone he’d been using while they were working earlier. “I’ll still work on the report when I have time next weekend but for now, try to get as much reading done as you can for the meantime. And if you come across parts you don’t understand, just mark the page so I can go over them with you the next time we meet.”

Daniel just stares at him, as if he’s waiting for a response. When it doesn’t come, he lets out a sigh as he scratches the back of his head, adjusting his backpack one last time.

“If that’s all then I’ll get going now. I know my way back to the bus stop so you don’t have to walk with me. See you in school.

Daniel leaves without another word or glance, gently closing the door behind him and leaving Jihoon to wallow alone in the tension still lingering in the room; a tension that he can’t help but contemplate is one of his own doing. And as much as he reminds himself of the reason that’s instigated him to act like a coldhearted brat in the first place, the image of Daniel’s crestfallen expression in his head makes him feel that he’s not any better than what he’d been trying to oppose against.

Jihoon sighs, striding over to where they were working on minutes ago and stuffing all his stuff inside his backpack. He flops himself face down on his small sofa, letting out a tired groan as he fully realizes just how much he’s screwed up.

  
  
  
  


***

  
  
  
  
  


“You look like shit,” Woojin tells him the following Monday at his locker after Jihoon had walked over to greet his friend a good morning. So much for a pleasant reciprocation.

“Good morning to you too, Woojin.”

“What happened?” His best friend raises an eyebrow, pausing in his task of loading books in his bag. Jihoon’s prepared himself for that question and he rolls out the practiced shrug and the tired sigh that well-matches his shitty appearance.

“I kinda stayed up all night playing that new game. Lost track of time.” It isn’t a total lie. Jihoon _had_ been playing more hours than he usually would over the weekend and he _did_ kind of stay up all night because of it—if only to distract his brain from thoughts of a certain boy, which is a detail that Woojin doesn’t need to know about.

“Aish, you’re such a nerd. Now even your eyebags have eyebags.” Woojin closes his locker, starting to walk with him and slinging an arm over his shoulder. “You wanna skip study hall later so you can take a nap?”

Jihoon snorts but nods all the same, closing his eyes for a moment as he lets Woojin lead them to their first class. 

He hears him first before anything, and Jihoon mentally excuses this inherent gravitation to his voice simply because he’s being extremely loud and definitely not for the same reason why he’s reduced to being a motorized zombie. He opens his eyes and sees Daniel and his minions walking ahead of them in going to class, and he has to fight hard not to stop in his tracks lest Woojin starts asking questions he doesn’t even want to think of answers to.

“Aww, well look at the Park-sausages being all sweet and cuddly this morning,” Donghan says when they fall into their line of vision upon entering the classroom. Jihoon feels a headache coming, throbbing in time with the way Woojin’s hand tenses over his shoulders.

“Fuck off Donghan. Your dog-breath is stinking up the entire room.”

“Ooh, feisty.” He makes a hissing sound, waving his hand out in front of him in a mocking burn. “What’s the matter Woojin? Did Jihoon not give you head this morning?” 

A chorus of laughter and a few silent giggles from their other classmates echo all around them, and Jihoon has to scrunch a fist up on the back of Woojin’s uniform to keep him in place. He looks over at Donghan’s taunting expression but what ultimately catches his attention is how Daniel isn’t even looking in their direction; his head deliberately turned the other way with his hands in his pocket in complete indifference.

“What’s the matter Donghan? Are you jealous that Woojin has me and _you_ don’t?” Jihoon pipes up, his voice casting a sudden spiel of silence in the classroom—the hush deafening. “You’re more than welcome to join us if you’re that hung up over your balls. If you really want to have the Park sausages all you have to do is ask.”

The giggling comes back but is turned the other way now, and even his friends are laughing along against him. Donghan can only blink, and even Woojin looks to be just as stupefied beside him. Jihoon’s focus, however, lies on the top alpha just sitting and staring at the entire exchange with a blank expression on his face. Their eyes meet and it holds for a second that feels like an eon, until the teacher’s voice booms out from in front of the class asking everyone to settle down on their seats to start the day.

And maybe he _is_ feeling a little out of it from sleep deprivation and whatnot, but Jihoon can’t shake away that split second glance of what he thinks is anger and disappointment swimming in Daniel’s small eyes. 

“Man, did you see the look on Donghan’s face? That was epic.” Woojin snickers in a hushed tone beside him as they take their seats, and Jihoon just puts up a feigned smile of triumph when pride is probably the last thing he’s feeling right now.

His uncharacteristic outburst that day saves him (mostly Woojin) from being the target of Daniel and his friends’ antics for much the entire week, to the point that they’re even deliberately avoiding the two of them. He supposes it’s a good thing at least; Woojin is left with some peace without Donghan getting on his back and it proves to be much easier for Jihoon to focus on a lot of other things as well. 

Things pretty much fall back into normalcy—or rather, the state his life was in before he ever got entangled for a stupid book report. Jihoon finally has the upcoming Friday to look forward to without having the feeling of dread looming at the back of his mind, and he lets himself feel the same peace that he’s bound to get when it arrives. A horrid mistake in retrospect, because Jihoon probably ought to have learned that lately the universe really has it out for him.

“What’s that?” Woojin asks from where he’s standing beside him that Friday afternoon. Jihoon’s currently stuffing some excess books he doesn’t need for the weekend back inside his locker when his hands feel a foreign object in his bag. It’s a notebook he doesn’t remember owning, one with a wrinkled blue cover and a bent spring binding the edges. He frowns a little, opening to the first page and feeling his heart drop to his stomach when he immediately recognizes whose handwriting it is.

“It’s Daniel’s.” He answers in dejection, sighing as he flips to a couple more pages. “It’s the notebook he uses for our book report. He must’ve left it last week and I packed it by mistake.”

“And it took you an entire week to notice?” Woojin shakes his head in amazement. “I swear I could put an egg inside your bag and it’ll probably hatch and grow into a full-sized chicken by the time you realize it.”

The joke falls on deaf ears when Jihoon has all but tuned out Woojin’s voice after randomly flipping to a page he hasn’t seen before. It’s still full of Daniel’s writing—notes and thoughts written haphazardly between the lines of the page that say _‘teach Jihoon some english words’, ‘ask about his favorite part of the book’, ‘get his thoughts about the characters’ feelings’._ It’s all pretty tied to their project, but then there are other scribbles here and there that don’t quite make sense on the first glance. 

There’s a simple math equation on one edge of the page, numbers being added and subtracted that Jihoon realizes is probably related to money when he sees the dollar sign on the left-hand side. There’s a string of words lined together on the other end, something that reads aloud like a poem. But probably the most eye-catching thing about this page of the notebook is the little drawing that’s taking much of the space on the bottom paper—a rough sketch of what looks like a boy sleeping on a couch with an open book over his chest.

“Wow, did he draw that?” 

Jihoon jumps a little when he realizes that Woojin’s been peeking just as much as he was, suddenly feeling a little sheepish—which doesn’t make sense because it’s not even his. He closes the notebook, stuffing it back in his backpack before closing his locker.

“Umm, Woojin. Can I take a raincheck today?”

“What? Why?” His best friend asks. Not at all opposed, just concerned.

“I gotta hand Daniel his notebook back. He’s supposed to work on our report over the weekend and he’s gonna need it.”

“Can’t it wait ‘til next week?” Woojin frowns, crossing his arms. “He didn’t even go to school today. How are you gonna give that to him?”

It’s a problem Jihoon hasn’t considered yet, but a solution already pops up in his head and he finds himself already taking a few steps back towards the hall. “I got an idea. I’ll just come over to your house tomorrow, okay?”

“Ya where are you—Jihoon—!”

“I’ll call you! Later!” Jihoon races past, waving goodbye to a confused Woojin before he turns to another hall and up the stairs in the direction of the teacher’s lounge. It’s probably a little rash on his part, definitely impulsive, but the things he saw on that page of Daniel’s notebook is stirring something in him—something that’s been forced down to dormancy all week long and is now only awakened to act.

“Jihoon? How can I help you?” Mrs. Lee, their English teacher, looks up from her files with a warm smile after Jihoon’s made his way over to her desk in the faculty office.

“Ah, I’m really sorry to bother you.” He bows for a second time, smiling back. “I was just wondering if you’d happen to know Daniel’s home address? Umm, he didn’t come to school today and there’s something I need to give him.”

His teacher raises a curious eyebrow. “Right now?"

“Yes, it’s umm—actually for the book report we’re making for your class." Jihoon nods, hoping the excuse holds weight. "He mentioned that he wanted to work on it this weekend but he left all the notes with me, so I’m thinking of just dropping by before I head home.”

He knows how it sounds like, but he honestly can’t come up with anything else other than the truth right now. And while he’s half-expecting to be turned down (at least he can’t say he didn’t try), any misgiving he has immediately flies out of the window when Mrs. Lee flashes him a rather impressed smile.

“How thoughtful of you, Jihoon,” she says, a hint of pride lacing her tone. “I don’t have Daniel’s address with me but…” She looks around the room then, a finger going up her chin in contemplation. “Wait here, I think I can find it inside the student records.”

Jihoon does as he’s told and just nods. By the time she comes back, she hands over a yellow post-it note with a scribbled address on it.

“Ah, thank you so much!”

“It’s no problem. But do you know how to get there by yourself?” Mrs. Lee asks. Jihoon just runs down the words on paper, nodding.

“I should be able to. I can always check my phone for directions.”

“Alright then.” He gets another smile, one that’s a lot more mirthful. “You know, I honestly had my doubts when Daniel first asked me to pair him with you for this project. I thought he was just pulling my leg, which was weird considering he’s already doing so well in my class.”

That gets him to look up all of a sudden, blinking in surprise. That’s news to him, and it shakes at something inside his chest that he doesn’t quite understand yet. 

“Well, in any case,” Mrs. Lee continues over his silence, seemingly unaware of his little shock. “I’m glad you two are working well together. Keep up the good work, okay?”

“Umm, yes. Thanks again, Mrs. Lee.” Jihoon bows low, fixing his face back into a smile before heading out of the faculty room. He stares at the written address on the yellow note once he’s out in the hall and thinks about what he just heard. Similarly, he hears Woojin’s voice echoing at the back of his mind reiterating his earlier suspicions. _That jackass is up to something_.

At any rate, the answer is already in his hands. He can just ask the devil himself what it all means and save himself the trouble of going around his brain in circles trying to come up with a blind answer. Jihoon pulls out his phone then, types in the address on his browser search bar and heads for the school’s exit.

There are a lot of other kids from school in the bus stop he heads to, and he even sees a few people in the same class as him when he stands there to wait. Along the journey though, Jihoon watches them alight one by one throughout all the stops until he’s pretty much the only one left wearing a uniform inside the bus. He checks his phone again and the address on the post-it, making sure he’s still on the right route and getting off on the stop his phone directions are pointing him to.

Jihoon finds himself in a mildly busy area of town a good fifteen minutes later, walking in the direction of the traffic and watching out for the street names posted along the sidewalk. He makes a turn when he finally reaches the intersection leading off the main road and down what’s supposed to be the same street name that’s written on his note. He isn’t familiar with the place anymore and is basically just keeping his eyes peeled for the numbers marking the small apartments and houses that line the stretch.

It takes him a while, and an awful lot of walking back and forth through tight alleyways before he finally finds what he thinks is the place the address he has is pointing him to. His eyes flit between the paper in his hand and the old apartment building in front of him, frowning a little at its dilapidated appearance of peeling paint and shoe-scorched porch steps. There’s a dog barking loudly on one end of the street, and the traffic noise from the main road is still blaringly audible even in the cluster of apartment buildings that Jihoon is starting to doubt whether he even has the right address or not. 

Still he pushes on, entering the empty apartment lobby and heading for the lifts—which immediately dips his frown lower when he sees the ‘out of service’ sign taped over the buttons. The unit is supposedly on the fourth floor, so Jihoon heads instead to the fire exit—seeing as it’s the only staircase available—and marches on up.

It gets a lot better on the upper floors at least, where signs of habitation and a better sense of cleanliness is present as compared to the barren lobby below. The apartment building is small and there are only two residential units per level, so when Jihoon reaches the fourth floor it doesn’t take him too long to stand in front of the door he came here for.

He takes a deep breath, the air musty and thick as it travels in and out of his lungs before he presses the doorbell; the soft buzz it lets out giving soft vibrations to his finger as he rocks back on his heels to stand in wait.

Nothing. The seconds stretch to minutes, and only when Jihoon starts getting that antsy feeling up his nape does he pluck up the courage to press the bell a second time. He doesn't hear anything besides the faint barking of the same dog from earlier and the white noise of town, and he begins to entertain the doubts creeping up his mind.

Is no one home? Is the doorbell broken? He tries knocking but it only gives him similar results of nothingness. He’s pretty sure he followed the address on his note, so did Mrs. Lee make a mistake with the address she gave him? Because come to think of it, the building _is_ quite a distance from their school and that's already on top of the fact that it doesn't even look like a place any of his classmates would live in. 

That makes about the most sense, and the sinking of the fact makes Jihoon sigh in frustration over the time and energy he wasted in even coming here. So much for doing a good deed and handing Daniel back his notes. Maybe he can still make it to Woojin’s and—

“Excuse me, can I help you?”

Jihoon slightly jumps in surprise before turning around to meet the voice of the woman suddenly standing behind him. She’s looking at him curiously, eyebrows raised behind her glasses and smiling expectantly.

“Ah, s-sorry. I was, umm—” Jihoon jerks his thumb back to the door and bows his head a little sheepishly. “I was just waiting for the door to open but I don’t think anyone’s home. I think I may have the wrong address.”

“Oh.” The lady blinks in surprise, a soft chuckle coming out in lightness. “Well, that door’s definitely not going to open ‘cause I’m pretty sure the house was empty when I left to go to the market earlier,” she says, eyes crinkling up into her smile. “And I don’t think you have the wrong address. Are you looking for Daniel? I assume from your uniform that you go to the same school as him.”

Jihoon blinks to that, the surprise of hearing the name freezing his brain a little. “Ah, y-yes. Are you—?”

“His mother, yes.” The lady smiles wider, nodding her head in earnest. Jihoon feels himself folding up in embarrassment and he directs that energy into a particularly low bow.

“I-I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to stand out here like this,” he says to the ground, rising up a second later with his ears completely flushed. “My name is Park Jihoon. I’m one of Daniel’s classmates.”

The smile on her face disappears for a second right before her eyebrows shoot up, her expression growing into something that Jihoon can only think is one of recognition. And sure enough when her smile returns, it comes out much warmer and full that the resemblance knocks his breath away entirely.

“Jihoon? Oh dear, it’s so nice to finally meet you!” She grabs both of his hands at that, patting them gently. “Here, let me open up so you can come inside. Daniel didn’t mention you were coming over today and if I had known, I would’ve gone back from my shopping much sooner. Have you been waiting long?”

She unlocks the door as she talks, stepping in and toeing her shoes off before gesturing for him to follow. 

“Ah no, it’s alright Mrs. Kang. I just arrived a few minutes ago myself,” Jihoon says with a small nod, stepping into the apartment after her. Lights flick on, and the very first thing he notices is the size of the place. The apartment building as a whole ought to have prepared him as much by way of expectations, but the surprise he feels at what he sees is barely watered down even with that fact in mind. 

It’s small, and it doesn’t take much effort for his eyes to see the living room, the dining area, and the kitchen all in one glance. The pieces of furniture that populate the place are all pretty basic; a couch and a TV set, there’s a shelf that’s full to the eaves on one corner of the room, and the small dining table directly adjacent to the kitchen counter and the fridge. He tries his best not to stare, knowing as much how rude that is and just streamlines his focus to Daniel’s mother who’s still smiling widely at him.

“You must find it strange how I know about you when it’s only our first time meeting,” she says with a soft chuckle as she closes the door behind them, and Jihoon hopes that it’s all she can read in his expression right now. “Daniel talks a lot about you, although don’t tell him I said that. Otherwise I’ll never hear the end of it.”

She laughs, and the fondness of it is impossible for Jihoon to catch as well. He’s still very much in shock at what he’s learning right now but he supposes letting out a bit of it in his laugh can make up for how much he’s reeling inside.

“Oh, I should thank you for the jjigae your mom packed for him last week. We had it for dinner that night and it was very delicious.”

“Ah.” He’s almost forgotten about that, but he nods a small bow and tries to remain unfazed. “I’ll make sure to mention that to her then. She’ll be glad to know you enjoyed it.”

Daniel’s mother nods, and as if only remembering the bags in her hands, she waltzes over to their small kitchen to unload her groceries. “Would you like something to drink dear? We have some fresh juice and some tea.”

“Oh, that’s alright Mrs. Kang, I’m good.” Jihoon nods, and his stiff posture must be enough indication because Daniel’s mother just chuckles at him and gestures for him to walk over. 

“Daniel’s shift at work should’ve ended by now so he’s probably on his way home,” she says, adding yet another surprise that Jihoon has to fight to remain unfazed over. “You can wait in his room if you’d like? His is just down the hall on the left side.”

Jihoon looks over to where she’s pointing at and just nods a small thanks. With his back turned he can at least drop the smile and let out a bit of the shock still bubbling over his system, although none of that release can ever prepare him once he turns the knob of the door he’s pointed to and he enters through. If Jihoon thought the apartment unit was small, then there’s just absolutely no way for him to describe what is supposed to be Daniel’s bedroom.

He needs to take three steps forward just so he can swing the door closed behind him and already, he finds himself standing near the other end of the wall just across the doorway. There’s only a couple of furniture here, but even then it doesn’t make the space any less compact. There’s a single bed pushed all the way in one corner that doesn’t even look big enough to hold a person of Daniel’s size, and right next to it is an old-looking wardrobe with the doors directly facing the side of the bed. By the foot and judt beside where Jihoon is currently standing is a small, square table and a wooden stool; his desk, he presumes, seeing all the papers and books piled up on the surface. Although as to how exactly he can even work on and use it is a mystery to him. He’s glad he’s alone now, because he has absolutely no confidence in himself to hold a straight face otherwise.

He starts to notice a bit of Daniel’s presence next as he continues to roam his eyes over. Beside the wardrobe and facing the side of the bed is a small TV set and a dusty Xbox underneath the console stand. There’s a Jabbawockeez and a Linkin Park poster taped above the headboard, a bin near the desk half-full of paper scraps and empty packets of gummy bears, and a skateboard leaning behind the door. Jihoon doesn’t know how he missed it when he first entered, but he notices now that the room also has this faint, musky smell in the air too; not at all unpleasant, just very much distinct.

When Jihoon turns around he gets to see the remaining half of the room—a wall with a built-in shelving unit tucked in the corner just beside the only window. There’s a surprising amount of books on the lower rack but what ultimately catches Jihoon’s attention are the picture frames and knick-knacks that rest on the upper and middle shelves. 

He feels his breath freeze and his heart stop, and he pays no mind to anything else thereafter because his eyes are suddenly drawn to the red scarf that’s tied and draping down from the top shelf. He walks closer, his hands reaching out to touch the fabric between his fingers. It’s old and the color is a little faded, and there’s a small tear on one edge cutting right through the cloth but other than that, the entirety of it along with the embroidered spider-man logo on the ends are still as whole as ever.

It’s like seeing something out of a dream, and Jihoon is suddenly taken back to that day in the school courtyard just before the holiday break kicked in. He can almost feel the whisper of the cold breeze on his cheeks, hear the laughter of the other kids playing on the playground, and feel the warmth of another boy’s arms around him when he’s wrapped in a tight hug.

His line of vision travels to the left then, eyes scanning the picture frames that crowd the part of the shelf that’s almost level with his face. They’re mostly photos of Daniel with his mom in different ages of his life; there’s one where he’s wearing glasses and holding up a cat for the camera, and another where he looks not much younger than he is now sitting in front of a table-top Christmas tree. It’s all personal photos, which makes one in particular stand out that makes Jihoon’s already still heart leap out of his chest.

It’s their class photo from the first grade, and Jihoon can only tell so immediately because he has the exact same copy in a photo album somewhere in his room. He can see himself in the photo, smiling wide and sitting on the ground next to his teacher’s legs, while Daniel stands up to the very top of the line, towering over all the other kids. He can’t help the smile that pushes the corners of his mouth up, nor the urge to pick up the frame to give it a closer look.

He feels something smooth crinkling at the back where his fingers brush over, and his smile all but completely drops off his face when he turns the frame the other way around and sees what’s behind. There on the back of the frame, wedged between the board and the wooden corner holding the photo in place behind the glass is an empty gummy bear packet. It wouldn’t be too out of the ordinary if it weren’t for the fact that it’s a brand Jihoon remembers; one that he hasn’t seen in the markets for the longest time now since whoever made these already stopped production. He remembers the day his dad brought a whole box of this brand home one night, remembers seeing it inside his lunchbox everyday and giving one to—

The sound of the door bursting open in a loud thud makes him jump, and he drops the picture frame where it shatters to pieces next to his socked feet. He looks up in alarm, only to meet the wild and frantic eyes of the owner of the room.

“What the hell are you—?!”

“Daniel? Is everything okay? I heard something breaking.” Daniel’s mom calls from somewhere beyond the hall in concern, shooting the sudden panic Jihoon is feeling up another bar.

“Everything’s fine mom! I just knocked over something!” Daniel yells back, walking forward and closing the door behind him before bending down in haste to clean up the mess. Jihoon instinctively goes down too, but an arm blocks his movement holding back from helping.

“Don’t.” Daniel whispers, the sound coming out more like a growl than anything. It’s not so much as the sound as it is the expression on Daniel’s face that stops him; he’s livid, eyes fuming with so much anger that Jihoon can only cower and back down.

“Fucking—shit.” Daniel seethes, scratching his head in frustration before heading out of the door again. Jihoon can hear voices outside—no one’s yelling but everyone might as well be because the tension he feels coiling in his gut is tantamount to it.

When Daniel comes back he closes the door gently this time, and he has with him a small hand broom and a dustpan to clean the mess up. Jihoon has never felt smaller in his life than at that moment, standing stock still and frozen on one side while he watches the other boy clean up _his_ mess. He hears a hiss and another curse fly out of Daniel’s mouth in the process, right before he sees dripping red coming out of his finger.

“D-Dan—”

“Don’t!” He stops him again, silencing him with another cold look. He walks over to his small desk and harshly opens it’s only drawer, and Jihoon watches him pilfer roughly through its contents as he holds his injured hand to his chest. Packs of cigarettes, pens, and other small objects fly and move around the drawer before Daniel finally pulls out a band-aid, and it’s only when Jihoon sees him lamely attempting to patch himself up does he finally find the courage to return to his body and actually move.

“I have a tissue—”

“I don’t need your help—!”

“You need to clean it first!”

“I said I don’t need—!”

Jihoon grabs his wrist, the force and strength of which must be surprising enough because Daniel actually stops fighting back. They stare each other off and Jihoon holds his ground this time—a feat that feels tremendous when his heart is only a second away from giving in and imploding on itself.

He only lets go when it looks like Daniels slightly calmed down enough to have a bit of common sense, and only then does he take off his backpack to pull out a pack of tissue and that unused bottle of hand sanitizer his mom always makes him carry. He focuses on Daniel’s wound then, making sure there aren’t any pieces of glass on the cut as he wipes off the blood before he takes the band-aid off of his hands and wraps it around his finger.

“There.” Jihoon says when he’s through, looking up to see that Daniel has his face turned the other way the entire time. He roughly pulls his hand back in the next second, finishing up on the broken frame and dumping the remnants in his small bin. He places the photo and the gummy bear wrapper inside his drawer, slamming it shut.

“I’ll replace it,” Jihoon tries to say, his thumbs fiddling with the ends of his uniform. “I’ll buy you a new one and—”

“Don’t bother.” Daniel growls at him, leaving the room again to bring his small broom back out. Jihoon hears more hushed voices outside, and when Daniel comes back this time he’s carrying with him a tray with two glasses of orange juice and a small plate of peanuts. He puts it on top of his desk before he plops himself down to sit on the edge of his bed.

Nothing happens for a while, and the tense air comes to a standstill as the silence in the room blares to a deafening volume. Daniel is staring at the floorboards and Jihoon has his eyes on him, waiting for a reaction and trying to read whether the way he’s quieted down is a sign of another impending explosion or something else.

“Do you want me to leave?” He says after some time, the momentary adrenaline that fueled his braveness earlier already dwindling to a minuscule pulp. Daniel finally looks him in the eyes then, and he sees that the white-hot anger that was there moments ago has also flared out in similar fashion.

“Sit down,” he says, his voice rough and thick as he gestures to the stool in front of his desk. Jihoon does as he’s told, placing his bag in front of him and hugging it to his chest as a shield for whatever sentence awaits him. He’s beginning to regret ever coming here, wishing fervently that he’d just listened to Woojin earlier.

“What are you doing here?” Daniel asks him, and it catches Jihoon’s attention at how much calmer he sounds now. He doesn’t dare look up though, and just zips open his backpack again to pull out his blue notebook.

“You, umm—left this with me by mistake. I just wanted to return it, and since you weren’t at school today, I—”

He jumps a little when the object in question is roughly snatched away from his grasp, making him look up to see the frantic expression going back up on Daniel’s features. 

“D-did you open it?!”

Jihoon’s at a loss for words again, blinking in confusion. He must be seeing things because he can almost swear Daniel’s ears are turning pink. “I—yes? I mean, I just checked to see that it was yours and—”

“What did you see?” Daniel asks again, more pressing this time. Jihoon can’t really comprehend this sudden panic when it’s just his notes for their project, but then he remembers the drawing in one of the pages. Jihoon thinks he’ll probably react the same way too if he was in Daniel’s position.

“Just your notes...for our project.” He lies, thinking it better to keep it to himself at this point. He’s already caused enough trouble and unrest as it is. “I didn’t even realize that it was in my bag until I was leaving my stuff in my locker earlier.”

And it works, because he can visibly see Daniel letting out a small breath of relief as he seemingly takes in that answer. He puts the notebook behind him then, keeping it out of sight before he nods.

“How do you know where I live?” Comes the next question, to which Jihoon pulls out the yellow post-it that’s still in his pants pocket.

“I asked Mrs. Lee and she got it from your student records,” he says, his mouth tumbling out the words in a clumsy rush when he can’t hold himself back any more. “Look, Daniel—I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snoop around your room. I really just came here to return your notes and—”

“Then what the hell were you doing on my shelf?” Daniel throws at him, not letting him finish. For a second, Jihoon can only hang his mouth limply as he considers how to answer. He could go for another white lie and save them from the looming awkwardness he feels coming. As easy as that seems though, he finds he can’t really do it—especially when Daniel’s piercing him with a hard stare.

“I was...just looking.” Jihoon starts, gulping for a moment to push down the lump in his throat. “I saw your scarf and the class photo, and umm...I was just taking a closer look at it when you came in and that’s why I dropped it. I really didn’t mean to make a mess. I’m sorry.”

Daniel’s frown is unletting, and his gaze on him borders on extreme scrutiny that leaves him feeling like a specimen under a microscope. The silence stretches, and Jihoon eventually resorts to just keeping his head down lest he actually starts squirming on his seat. 

“And you swear you’re telling the truth?”

Jihoon purses his lips, nodding once and completely feeling like a kid called in to the principal’s office. He hears a heavy sigh after that, and he dares to break his self-imposed staring contest with his lap to peek up and see Daniel running his hands wildly through his hair.

“I’m...sorry for getting mad at you then,” he starts to say, trickling in a bit of relief down Jihoon’s system. “It’s just—you’re the first person from school to actually come here. Not even the guys know where I live and...you just caught me off guard.”

Jihoon shakes his head at that, taking back the blame. “I should’ve at least called to tell you first. I’m sorry, I...didn’t think you wouldn’t be home when I decided to come over.”

Daniel just nods then, his hand running through to push back his hair again. “It’s okay. Well—maybe not entirely _okay—_ but what’s done is done.” He snorts, eyes coming down to his hands where they clasp together over his lap. “You probably think I’m some weird-ass creep now, don’t you.” 

Jihoon blinks a little in surprise, mouth hanging in confusion. “Why would I—?” He starts to say, but immediately trails off when he meets Daniel’s eyes and is reminded of what he’d been doing before he saw him here. He feels a weird kind of heat rising up his face at the silent insinuation, playing with the beats of his heart.

“I don’t—t-that’s not true. I don’t think it’s weird, I—” 

“You don’t have to patronize me Jihoon.” Daniel chortles, shaking his head. “It’s fine. I understand.”

“But I mean it.” He puts his foot down, balling his hands to a fist behind where it’s hidden in sight from behind his backpack to force himself to get a grip. “It’s not weird to me. I’m just...surprised, that’s all.”

He can feel Daniel doing it again, gauging his words and reactions with his eyes as he looks and stares him down. Jihoon doesn’t cower under his gaze this time though; he’s telling the truth.

“I’m a little flattered, to be honest,” he continues, speaking his heart and trying not to combust under the scrutiny. “I didn’t think you’d even remember anything from that time...much less keep something that I gave you.”

Something clicks in Jihoon’s head after the words come out of his mouth. A thought that he’s repressed for the longest time now, echoed by Woojin’s annoying voice reminding him how he’s the only person who’s never had to face any of the trouble Daniel and his peers have given the rest of their classmates over the years. It’s a bold assumption, but it’s what makes the most sense—at the same time as it leaves a lot of doors open with questions he can’t think of answers to.

He’s too caught up riding on this thought train that he doesn’t even notice the way Daniel’s ears are turning pink until the very last second. But before either of them can say anything more, a soft knock and the door lightly creaking open interrupts them.

“You boys okay in here?” Daniel’s mom asks from the doorway where her head is peeking in with a smile. “Jihoon dear, I just wanted to ask if you wanted to stay for dinner tonight? I just finished preparing soft tofu stew and it’d be nice to have you over.”

Now it’s his turn to feel a little flushed, and he rises up from his seat to return the gesture with a small bow.

“Ah, thank you Mrs. Kang. But, umm—” His eyes flit over to Daniel for a split second, judging his response. He’s back to being the unreadable slate, however, which is probably better than a frown at the very least.

“I’ll have to ask my parents first. I’ll just give them a call,” he says, bowing again and muttering a small thanks until she closes the door behind her. He turns to Daniel then, much like the way he did two weeks back when they were at his place.

“Do you really want to?” Daniel raises an eyebrow, his tone giving nothing away. “If you’re just going to say yes to be polite, then you might as well just—”

“I want to.” Jihoon cuts him off, answering out of instinct before he can even think about it himself. “I want to—if that’s okay with you.”

And maybe he’s finally starting to get the answers right, if the small smile that goes up Daniel’s face right then is any indication.

It’s a lot different than what Jihoon is used to; having dinner at Daniel’s house. For starters, his experience in dining at another household is gravely limited to the annual Chuseok holiday lunches they have at his grandparents’ house or the lunar new year feasts they have at his father’s sister’s place. The most casual and closest to the situation he finds himself in now is probably all the times he’s spent over at Woojin’s through the years, which doesn’t really count as much because eating with Woojin’s family is like eating with his own.

Still, his parents have taught him well. And Jihoon would very much damn himself if he didn’t uphold the good manners he’s practiced since the age of five—even if the setting is a little more challenging than the usual.

He’s only spent a good hour at most since coming here, and while he’s more or less used to the small living conditions of the apartment, it’s still a matter he’s made to be conscious about now more than ever. Their dining table looks like it can only really accommodate two people at any given time, and that’s already accounting Daniel’s size. Jihoon has to be mindful of his movements and keep his elbows tucked in all throughout the meal so as not to disrupt their already tight fix. 

But it’s not so much as the size of things that’s proving to be an ordeal. Or rather, it _is_ because of the size but only because he’s forced to be in such close proximity to the older boy who isn’t even being discreet about the weird looks he’s giving him.

“So, how goes that project you two are doing?” Daniel’s mom asks around midway through the meal, her warm voice cutting a bit of the tension, which makes Jihoon wonder if she can feel as well or not.

“It’s good Mrs Kang.” He smiles, nodding politely before tipping his head to the right. “Daniel’s actually the one leading the flow of things. I’m just doing my best to keep up with him and help.”

“Ah, he did say you’re having a bit of trouble for your English class,” his mom says, but despite the words being a bit of a blow, the thoughtfulness in her tone makes it so that Jihoon doesn’t really mind. Daniel on the other hand has his eyes blown up to saucers, directing the gaze to his mom who just promptly ignores him.

“Well, we can’t all be good in all our subjects, right? When I was your boys’ age, I was absolutely _terrible_ in history.” She laughs, and Jihoon can’t help but catch the lightness and cheerfulness of it himself. “You just keep working hard and doing your best, and you’re sure to get past it.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Kang,” is all Jihoon can think to say, bowing his head a little in comfort.

“Daniel did say you’re quite excellent in the arts though? He mentioned something about you being in theatre?” 

Jihoon can’t help but raise his eyebrows to that. But before he can respond, Daniel’s wild stare has evolved into frantic whispering—silently begging for his mom to stop talking. 

“Oh, umm—I used to do theatre. I was in a few school plays before but since we’re graduating this year, I don’t really have the time to be part of a production anymore.”

“Ah, that’s a shame. Oh, but maybe I’ve seen you on stage before! Daniel here dragged me one time to watch one of the plays held in your school a couple of years back,” she says happily, turning to her son and looking oblivious to his quickly reddening face. “What was that again, honey? I remember you were so eager to watch that show. Peter Pan?”

Whatever surprise Jihoon is feeling over this information is then fiercely outweighed when Daniel begins to choke and cough into his tofu stew. He puts his spoon down with a dull thud on their small table and promptly gets up with his bowl in his hands.

“I’m getting more soup,” he announces with a pout before marching the three short steps it takes for him to reach their kitchen. Jihoon sees his mom winking at him, and he has to bite down his lips to hold back the smile of mischief threatening to break into his face when Daniel returns and sits with them.

By the end of the night, Jihoon feels just pleasantly winded and maybe a little playful from seeing Daniel blush all night that he’s sure isn’t solely caused by their spicy meal alone. And whether or not Daniel’s mom completely understands the method she used in breaking their earlier tension, he bows in thanks all the same as he starts putting his shoes on by the door.

“Don’t be a stranger now, Jihoon. We’d love to have you over any time.”

Jihoon chances a quick glance to Daniel only to see him rolling his eyes in jest. He bows then, smiling knowingly. “Thanks again Mrs. Kang, and for the soup as well. I’ll be sure to share it with my parents.”

“Come again soon, okay? Next time I can bring out Daniel’s old photo albums and show you—”

“Okaaay, that’s enough chit-chatting for tonight. Jihoon has to go now before he misses the bus.” Daniel stands between them, earning a laugh from his mom as he steps out of the house to stand beside him. “I’ll walk him home.”

“Alright, alright. You two take care now.” She pinches at Daniel’s cheek. Jihoon gives one final bow of thanks before he follows Daniel to the stairwell and out into the cool night of their street. Out here it’s a lot less awkward even if it is just the two of them again, and maybe it helps a little that he can still kind of see the way Daniel’s ears are pinkish under the lights of the street lamps.

“You’re mom’s really nice.” Jihoon comments when they start the walk back to the main road, hands over the straps of his backpack as he shuffles close to Daniel’s back. He hears rather than sees the older boy snort ahead of him.

“She likes you a little _too_ much, if you ask me,” he says, and Jihoon can tell from his voice that he’s still probably pouting a little. 

“I didn’t know you went to watch Peter Pan when we showed it. Woojin didn’t even go ‘cause he taught it was lame at the time,” he says, and maybe a little of his bitterness still seeps in his voice when he does but he’s more or less past the resentment anyway. Peter Pan was the first time he ever had a lead role in anything, and he probably spent two weeks trying to convince Woojin to come and watch him to no avail.

“Yeah well, I had nothing better to do so…” Daniel snorts again, shrugging in nonchalance. As cold as the response comes off though, Jihoon is well aware that on top of having to buy a ticket for that show in particular, it was scheduled on a Saturday night in their campus auditorium—a fact that’s clearly telling of just how much Daniel actually means his statement.

“Thank you though,” Jihoon says, picking his pace up a little so he’s walking beside him. “It probably doesn’t matter much now but, umm—I appreciate you being there.”

He can see Daniel pursing his lips when he looks up at his face, sure that whatever is to come out of his mouth next is another exaggerated underplaying of his actions. “It was a long time ago. It’s no big deal.”

“It is though,” is all Jihoon says, nodding to the ground with a small smile. “At least, to me it is.”

Daniel remains quiet for the rest of the way after, and soon the sounds of light traffic and the hustle and bustle of people walking down the sidewalk leaving from work and enjoying the Friday night fills the space around them. There’s a group of young professionals at the bus stop when they get there talking loudly amongst themselves in an excited rush, and Jihoon doesn’t know why but even if he and Daniel are mostly just standing there next to each other and silently waiting for the bus to arrive, he kind of feels the same comfort there is to have if he were with a friend.

When he finally spots his bus stopped at the intersection traffic light a few meters away, he takes the last few minutes he has left before it parks in front of them to at least address and conclude whatever it is that just happened today; clearing his throat and taking a breath to build some semblance of confidence.

“Hey, umm—Daniel?”

The older boy only slightly turns his head to look at him, an eyebrow raised but still otherwise free of emotion.

“Umm, thanks for tonight,” Jihoon continues, nodding earnestly. “I know that things didn’t really start off too well, but I had a nice time with you and your mom.”

Not even a twitch of an expression, and Daniel keeps his steady gaze on him when he answers back with, “You say that as if you were even invited to come over in the first place.”

The familiar spike of panic shoots all the way from his chest to his throat at that, the beginnings of an apology already forming over the tip of his tongue right before Daniel’s cold stare suddenly morphs into a smirk and an impish grin.

“I’m kidding,” he says immediately, playfully bumping into his shoulder for effect. “Having you over was...definitely something.”

The bus finally makes its way and pulls over in front of them, cutting whatever it is Jihoon wanted to say and shortening it into a half nod and a smile before he walks to the door. “I’m sorry again. I’ll, um—see you at school.”

He steps inside the bus after the other passengers on the stop go in, glancing outside the windows to maybe throw a final wave to Daniel but to his surprise, he isn’t standing there anymore. There’s a sliver of disappointment that builds up in his gut at the thought of how he didn’t even wait for his bus to leave before going himself but before it can manifest into a proper emotion, he feels a soft poke on the small of his back moving him forward along the bus aisle.

“What are you doing? Take a seat.”

Jihoon couldn’t have whipped his head faster than he did, eyes widening just as he hears the bus doors closing and starting to move.

“Daniel? What are you—?”

“I’m walking you home, remember?” is all he says in answer, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Now hurry up and take a seat.”

Only because he’s severely lacking any options, he turns back around and slides into the nearest bench for the two of them. Daniel follows right after him, settling down close enough that Jihoon can feel their arms and thighs brushing.

“I didn’t think you meant my _home_ home,” Jihoon says without facing him, his lips pouting a little. “You really don’t have to go all the way. I can get back perfectly well on my own.”

To his surprise, Daniel only chuckles at him for that. His shoulders shaking against his own. “Well, we can’t always get what we’re expecting for the day, now can we?” Daniel looks down at him, grinning like a devil. Jihoon just rolls his eyes.

“I said I was sorry.” He hugs his backpack close to his chest, focusing his gaze at the passing view outside the window to his left and ignoring the light snickers beside him. Neither of them really say very much along the way and Jihoon just tries to keep his thoughts centered to himself instead of thinking about all the things still running rampant in his head that are all geared towards one person in particular.

He makes it until the fifth stop on the route they’re on before he fails miserably, finally conceding to his itching consciousness.

“Can I ask you something?”

Daniel doesn’t even turn to look at him and just plays up the smirk that’s already on his lips, and Jihoon knows without a doubt that he just fell for a trap.

“Why do I feel like you have a lot of _somethings_ you want to ask me,” Daniel says, sizing him down as he crosses his arms over his chest. "But alright, you get three questions. But only if I get to ask three in return. Deal?"

Jihoon chews on his lip at the proposition. It's the best deal he can ever hope to bargain with at the moment, and his curiosity is really starting to scratch his mind raw.

"No lying," he says, and Daniel seems wholly prepared for him to say that because his smirk just grows.

"Right back at you, Park."

Trap or not, Jihoon doesn't really mind as long as he actually gets his fair share of trade. When he's deemed that Daniel isn't merely pulling his strings and is set on the matter, the next hurdle he faces comes from the questions he wants to ask altogether. Because where does he even begin? There are a lot flying around his head just from everything he's learned today and they're all equally weighing down part of his mind.

“Do you have a job?” Jihoon starts, ultimately deciding to just go with his instinct and ask about the first thing at the top of his head. “When I got to your place earlier, your mom mentioned that you weren’t home yet because you were just coming home from your shift at work.”

Daniel seems unfazed by the question, only blinking at him as a first response before he nods. “Yeah, I do. I usually work part-time, but I had to cover one of my colleague’s shifts earlier so I had to work the entire day. That’s why I wasn’t at school.”

As clear and concise that answer is, it still comes as a huge surprise to Jihoon that it takes him a couple of seconds to fully process the information. He doesn’t know about other people in his school since he doesn’t really talk to anyone much, but he’s pretty sure that there are probably students his age who have part-time jobs too. It shouldn’t be that strange.

“What do you work as?” Jihoon follows up, which gets him a skeptical raise of an eyebrow.

“Am I counting that as your second question?”

Jihoon clamps his lips, shaking his head when he figures that the answer to that doesn’t really matter all that much right now. He takes a second to think about the next thing he wants to ask, and his mind immediately zeroes in on something Daniel has said to him before that kind of confuses him now.

“You mentioned before that the reason you didn’t want us to work at your place was because your house is under renovation,” he starts, and immediately he can tell that this line of inquisition is a lot different from the first when he sees Daniel’s expression slowly changing. “Is that why you’re staying in that apartment? Because your house isn’t done yet?”

He doesn’t get an immediate answer this time, only a session of silent staring to which he does his best not to break.

“Is there something wrong with the apartment?” Daniel mutters quietly, but before Jihoon can even breathe out that he didn’t mean it that way, Daniel breaks their gaze and turns his head to look up front. “I lied to you about that. There’s no house or renovation or whatever. I’ve lived in that apartment for the past twelve years.”

It stings a little, the way Daniel says it, that Jihoon can only purse his lips and nod in acknowledgement right after. He doesn’t need to say much and he knows Daniel picked up on what he meant from the tone of his question. He wants to apologize, but something tells him that an _I’m sorry_ is the last thing he wants to hear right now.

“Last question.” Daniel reminds him over his sudden silence, his voice hard. Jihoon can’t really tell if he’s mad or not, but he supposes he only has one last leg to tackle before he’s done anyway so he takes a breath and just rips the band-aid off.

“Why do you still have the stuff I gave you?” Jihoon faces the backrest of the seats in front of them when he asks now, not wanting to see the face Daniel makes over his question. He doesn’t elaborate because he knows he doesn’t need to, and he assumes that Daniel’s probably expected this to come up one way or another.

Nevertheless, he still takes the longest while to answer now compared to his other questions that it reaches the point where Jihoon starts to recognize some of the places passing by outside the window. They’re almost near his stop, and even when he’s already pressed the button to signal the bus and is getting ready to get off, Daniel still hasn’t said anything.

They’re standing alone at the bus stop near his street now, neither one talking or making a move to start walking. A cool breeze passes and the nearby trees ruffle a hymn of peace, and it’s only when Jihoon looks up at the sound of them does he notice Daniel staring at him. He isn’t frowning anymore nor does his face look like sculpted steel; instead his eyes are soft, features as serene as the night.

“Because it’s special to me,” he says, his words bringing Jihoon back to what he’d asked earlier. No matter the length of the pause that stretched between then and now though, the sudden lurch of a tingle he feels in his chest is still as strong as if he had answered in a heartbeat.

“It probably doesn’t seem much to you...but it means a whole lot to me,” Daniel continues, and the nonchalance of his posture with his hands inside his pockets has Jihoon feeling the complete opposite. “I remember everything, Jihoon. I always have."

He takes a step forward then, and the singular movement immediately shortens the distance between them to mere inches thanks to his long legs. Jihoon doesn't breathe, doesn't even know why his heart is beating wildly in his chest or why he can't seem to tear his eyes away from Daniel's face; as if endlessly waiting for his next words.

"My turn," he says, breaking the heated air and flashing his signature grin. Jihoon rolls his eyes, hiding his flush.

"We're almost to my house."

"So?" Daniel challenges, finally moving ahead of him."Walk slow then. You're not getting off that easily."

"I wasn't trying to." Jihoon huffs, marching along and walking beside him to match his stride. Despite his long legs, the pace that Daniel sets is a leisurely one; his steps short and relaxed that more befits a stroll than a walk home.

"What else did you and my mom talk about before I arrived?" He kicks it off without another second to waste, starting his inquisition. He keeps both hands in his pocket as he does, not even facing him.

"Umm...nothing really." Jihoon shrugs. He isn't totally lying, but he thinks he owes it first to Daniel's mother not to mention how she'd let slip that Daniel talks about him with her. "We didn't really chat much besides me explaining why I was there and whatnot. She just came back from the market when I arrived so she asked me to wait in your room while she tidied up."

That part is at least a little bit true, and he thinks a mental apology with a promise that he'll answer his next two questions more honestly would suffice. He can't really tell whether or not Daniel believes him, and the curt nod he makes doesn't reveal much of anything either.

“Are you mad at me?” He asks next, and the question comes out all too sudden and without context that Jihoon is made to turn his head and look at him. His first instinct makes him think that it’s probably a trick to catch him in a lie or something, but seeing Daniel’s face immediately washes away any strand of the thought.

“Why would I be mad at you?”

They’re near halfway to his house by now, just over at the small playground park before the turn to his street. Daniel lets out a heavy breath and ultimately stops walking, slowly turning to face him until their eyes meet.

“You tell me,” he says, his wide shoulders dropping a shrug. “I’m talking about last week, when I was over at your place. I don’t know if you remember, but you weren’t exactly the nicest person that day. It made me feel like you hated me for some reason.”

The confession is so honest and raw that it catches Jihoon a little off guard. He hasn’t forgotten that day one bit no matter how much he’s tried to tell himself otherwise, but coming to know that it’s bothered Daniel enough for him to even bring it up now is more of a surprise to him than anything.

“I wasn’t mad. I was just...a little upset with you.” He starts, sticking to his own promise of being truthful now. He finds that it’s hard not to be when Daniel is. “I was upset because...I don’t really understand you—in fact I still don’t, to be honest.”

Jihoon bites his lips, pausing to take a breath for what he’s about to say. “You turn into this... _completely_ different person when we’re working on our project together, but then you go back to being this jerk in school immediately right after.” He ignores the frown that grows on Daniel’s face at that last bit, huffing a breath and just letting the rest of his words out.

“I know it’s none of my business, and that I probably shouldn’t even care so much but—I’m just really confused because...I like this version of you. When you’re being nice and funny and actually behaving like a human being. But then Monday comes around and I’m left to think whether this version is even real or not because from what I’m seeing, it looks like you’re just lying to me.”

It feels like his chest is caging a rabid animal by the time he finishes, and the only comfort he can get out of the situation then is seeing Daniel struck with an expression that’s telling him he’s feeling the exact same thing. He stands there with his small eyes blinking in shock before he looks down and runs a hand through his hair, sighing out a heavy breath. 

“I wasn’t—I’m not lying,” Daniel says, looking up again with sincere eyes. “I lie about a lot of things...but not this. Not with you. I’m sorry if I made you feel that way.”

Jihoon doesn’t really know if he believes that, but the urge to do so is incredibly hard to fight with how Daniel’s voice sounds so weighed to match the look he’s giving him. He purses his lips, nodding to force them to move on lest his thoughts start to wander places he isn’t wholly ready to travel to yet.

“Last question,” he reminds him, the same way Daniel did earlier before he starts walking again. He doesn’t really get very far to even make three steps forward when he stops in his tracks immediately after he hears the next question.

“Are you and Woojin dating?” 

Jihoon couldn’t have whipped his head back to look faster than he did, his eyes wild with disbelief. “What?”

“Are you and Woojin—”

“Stop, stop, stop! I heard you the first time!” Jihoon flails both hands in front of him, shaking his head to pass the cringe crawling up his spine. “That’s just— _gross_ , what the hell?”

There’s the beginnings of a smile on Daniel’s face, just a couple of steps away from utter amusement. “So, is that a no?”

Jihoon shakes his head, completely bewildered how their conversation went from honest confessions to _this._ “Of course it’s a no! Are you seriously trying to make me throw up?”

Daniel’s face finally cracks up and his teeth flash, glinting in the streetlight. “You do know I’m not the only one who thinks that, right? Most people at school think you’re a couple.”

“Yeah well in case you haven’t noticed, I don’t really listen enough to _care_ about what other people think.” Jihoon rolls his eyes. Contrary to his statement, he is in fact, well aware that people think he and Woojin are an item. It doesn’t really bother him as much when it’s just the gossipy whispers in the halls from the apparent lack of things to talk about amongst his classmates, but what makes it so disturbing to him now is the fact that Daniel is bringing it up unironically.

“Why the hell are you even asking that?” Jihoon frowns, still feeling slightly perturbed. “You had three questions and the last thing you wanted to know is if Woojin and I are—?” He gags, he can’t even say it. To his surprise Daniel just shrugs at him, putting his hands back in his pockets.

“I just wanted to make sure I’m not getting in the way of anything.”

“What?” The crease on his brows deepen. “Why would you be getting in the way?”

And Daniel just shrugs again, ever so casual that it gravely underplays the next words out of his mouth in expectation.

“Because I like you, Jihoon.”

The words are straightforward and solid, the blow striking an invisible chord that freezes the very air passing along Jihoon’s lungs. It doesn’t immediately sink in, and even when it does, it still only ever lingers on the edge of his understanding and belief that he can’t possibly begin to wrap his head around on. Their conversation—hell, the entire _time_ he’s spent with Daniel since the moment he’d been caught inside his room earlier has been a ride wilder than a high-speed roller coaster in Lotte World and just when he’s thought to have reached the cusp that’ll slow him down, he runs into another bend that catapults his soul off his body. Surely he heard wrong—surely he couldn’t have meant it the way he thinks he means it and if not, then it’s _obviously_ a joke.

Except nothing about the way Daniel carries himself in the next few silent seconds is an indication of it being one. Not with how tense his shoulders have suddenly become or how Jihoon can see a slight tinge of pink near the tips of his ears that’s starting to become a familiar sight now. Not when he’s still holding his gaze in a way that keeps him rooted on his spot, smoldering him from the inside out. Not when the seconds turn to minutes and he still hasn’t let out even a crack of his bucktooth smile or follow up the confession with an _I’m kidding._

“You’re serious,” Jihoon whispers, more to himself than for the other person. It isn’t a question, but Daniel still nods to it as if it were one.

“I am. And I know how this must sound to you but in my defense, this isn’t exactly how I planned on telling you,” he says, and if Jihoon didn’t think he was blushing earlier then he’s sure of it now. “I had this whole thing thought out step-by-step and I even wrote it down and everything...but you coming over to my house today kind of ruined all that and to be honest, I didn’t really believe you earlier when you said you didn’t read my notebook. So now I’m like—fuck it. I’ll just go ahead and tell you.”

Jihoon hears him, word per word, but he honestly doesn’t understand a single thing coming out of his mouth. For starters, the fact that Daniel mentioned planning this out and even writing it down somewhere can only mean that this isn’t just some spur of the moment thing. It means whatever he just confessed is something that’s been on his mind for a while now, a fact that Jihoon can’t even begin to fathom in his current state of mind.

“Daniel...I—I don’t—”

“It’s okay,” he cuts him off, something akin to fear playing on his features. “You don’t have to say anything right now. I know it’s a huge thing to take in and I know you probably don’t like me back, but—” He pauses, visibly gulping. “I just don’t want you to think that I’m lying to you, or faking things when we spend time together.“

There isn’t really much for him to say, or rather—as much as he wants to say something, his mind is perilously coming up blank. He supposes taking Daniel’s word is the best he can do at this point, however hard it is to come to terms that there’s no escaping the flicking embers of guilt hissing on the surface of his skin when he thinks about how disappointing it must be for him to not even get a proper response.

“I’m sorry,” Jihoon blurts out, only half aware himself that he even did. Daniel jumps on this in a heartbeat, flashing him a reassuring smile.

“I told you, it’s okay. I understand.” He nods. Jihoon can’t really tell if Daniel really _is_ as okay as he’s sounding off to be, but his nonchalance matches well. “I’ll, umm—take it as a good sign that you’re not asking me to leave you alone or stay away from you on the get go. Seriously, it’s okay.”

It’s a valid point, one that makes Jihoon think and ponder about for himself. Earlier he’d been exaggeratingly dramatic at the thought of him and Woojin harboring such feelings for each other; he wonders why the case isn’t the same when it’s with Daniel, and why he’s more shocked than anything. Not that he’s accepting it as an affirmation of his own feelings, but he finds that he’s just not as repulsed with the idea as he probably ought to be.

One final nod gets them back on their track and they start walking back to his house, the dull echoes of their shoes on pavement and the faint rustling of the few trees sounding as every bit as awkward as it could possibly get. The guilt is still searing, and Jihoon can’t help but think about what Daniel had said of how his coming over to his house earlier was what ultimately ruined his plans—which all the more confuses him because he’s not even too sure if he likes the sound of a _plan_ being present in the first place.

“Do you wanna come in?” Jihoon asks, his voice both high-pitched and small when they’re finally standing outside the gate to his house. Thankfully (and he feels another surge of guilt for feeling this), Daniel just shakes his head.

“It’s late. I still have a long way home.”

Jihoon nods to that, and immediately right after he feels a staggering sense of emptiness occupy the space of his chest. What else do you say to someone who just confessed their feelings to you?

“Hey, umm—Jihoon?” Daniel breaks the silence before it can lengthen again, a hand coming up to scratch the back of his neck. “I’m serious about what I said, thatI don’t want you to stress out over this too much. And if it gets too weird for you or you realize that you don’t feel the same way or, umm—if you don’t want me bothering you anymore—just tell me, okay?”

He nods again in agreement. But feeling too repetitive, he purses his lips and mutters out a silent, “Okay.”

“Right. And, umm—” Daniel continues, and Jihoon can tell that his earlier confidence and bravado is already starting to wane. “I know I’m not really in any position to ask anything of you...but I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone about anything from today. You know—about where I live, or me having a job, or any of that.”

“Oh, of course. Don’t worry, I won’t.”

That seems to give a bigger relief to Daniel than he’d ever thought and the soft sigh he lets out further proves it. He raises a hand and begins to step back, flashing his signature smile.

“I’ll see you in school then. Goodnight.”

And before Daniel can fully turn around and head his way, Jihoon takes a step forward and raises a hand to wave as well. He’s still moving like a complete blunder but maybe he can let it pass that Daniel probably doesn’t mind.

“Thanks for walking me home. Take care.”

Jihoon can’t really tell or dictate anything yet, seeing as he’s still a bit in shock from his whirlwind of a day, but he thinks that the grin he gets from Daniel just before he leaves and turns the corner isn't something he minds.

  
  
  
  
  


***

  
  
  
  
  


"Something's different today." Woojin muses from beside his seat, and Jihoon turns to see him squinting and roaming his eyes around the classroom like some amateur detective. "It's quiet. _Too_ quiet. Where are the monkeys at?" 

The mention of them has Jihoon's heart spiking faster than what can ever be considered normal for someone who’s simply sitting down on his seat on a lazy Monday morning waiting for his first class to start. He ignores Woojin, pretending to focus on Romeo and Juliet and keeping his nose between the pages. It works for a little while to keep him in line, however many times he reads the same sentence over and over again, but he still ultimately fails when the sound of boisterous laughter finally enters the room a couple of minutes later.

Jihoon tries not to think how amongst the loudness of their group, his ears can immediately pinpoint the breathless, choked-up kind of laugh that belongs to the person responsible for him behaving this way. The urge to look back from his seat steadily rises, and at this too he fails when he creens his neck and turns ever so slightly.

Their eyes meet in an instant, planting a seed of curiosity that makes him wonder if Daniel had been staring at his back this whole time. It’s only a millisecond, but the moment is electric and the bolt has Jihoon turning back to face front and look down at his book.

“What’s wrong with you?” Woojin suddenly asks, and Jihoon can feel him leaning closer to his space as he does. “Your ears are red,” he says, even reaching out to pinch his lobes. Jihoon jumps and smacks his hand away, feeling a lot hotter than he did seconds earlier.

“Mind your own business.” He huffs, by which of course earns him an impish grin in return.

“Are you finally at the part where Romeo and Juliet do the thing?” His best friend teases in a knowing tone, right before he squeals at the punch Jihoon throws at his arm.

It’s a feeling that he supposes he should just get used to from now on; a task that’s quite easier said than done because while it isn’t the first time he’s noticing Daniel’s presence more on a daily basis, it’s an entirely different story when he thinks about how the older boy is also—and probably has always been—watching and noticing him from afar as well.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Woojin comments again, and Jihoon panics a little when he can see that he’s crossed his arms now and tilting his head to observe him. “You seem a bit—I don’t know. Finicky?”

He tries not to wince at that and just stays as poker faced as he can when he finally closes his book. He’d been hiding this from Woojin for much the entire weekend when he was over at their place but being in the same room as him and Daniel is heightening his self-consciousness.

“I submitted more college applications last night after I got home from your house. I guess I’m just a bit jittery thinking about it.” It’s not a total lie. He _did_ send out one application, although the level of concern he has for it doesn’t really amount to what he’s making it out to be. He couldn’t really care less about it, but it serves as a convenient excuse as any.

Thankfully his best friend loses the chance to talk further when their teacher finally walks in. Jihoon breathes out a silent sigh of relief at the same time as he bends down to his backpack on the floor to keep his novel and bring out his textbooks. Doing so, however, gives him another chance to look at the back end of the classroom only to see Daniel still staring at him. His face is pulled into the faintest of smiles to which Jihoon responds with an awkward tug from the corner of his own lips that he hopes passes for at least a decent looking expression.

Focusing in class is a lot harder that morning, and he swears he almost jumps and bounds out of his seat at the exact moment the lunch bell finally rings to give him relief.

“Hey I won’t be able to eat with you today,” Woojin tells him as they pack out of the classroom, walking the halls to head to their lockers. “Yujin is asking me to go with her to the library so we can actually get started on our book report.” 

“Oh, alright.” Jihoon nods, and for a second he thinks about the irony of how his own book report is coming along well all because of Daniel, while Woojin here hasn’t even begun with theirs.

“I’ll just see you later then. Text me if you need anything.”

Jihoon snorts, rolling his eyes. “You just want to get out of actually working. And here I thought _I_ had a bad partner for the project.”

“I’m not saying she’s bad. I just meant—”

“I was talking about Yujin.” Jihoon snickers. “Sucks that she got paired with you—ow!”

He makes to retaliate from Woojin flicking his ear but his friend has already sidestepped and is rushing away towards the other direction before Jihoon can even blink. He sticks his tongue out when he waves goodbye, rolling his eyes and chuckling to himself as he heads back to his locker.

The lingering smile on his face effectively morphs into one of confusion the moment he gets there though, when he opens up and a folded note from a ripped page of a notebook falls to land on his feet. Jihoon tries not to dwell too much on why his mind is immediately thinking of a particular person as he bends over to pick it up, although it quickly loses relevance because he soon sees that it’s exactly who he thinks it’s from.

_I’m hanging out at the rooftop for lunch til our next class. come by if ur free? maybe? :P_

Jihoon doesn’t really know what he’s thinking anymore. It’s an easy enough message to ignore (one that he ought to really) because you’d think he'd at least have a little more common sense not to head straight to the lair of the very devil that’s been taking up residence in his mind much more than necessary.

He blames it on Woojin for leaving him to spend the lunch break alone, which is pathetic when he only does it right at the moment his hand wraps around the doorknob that opens up to the school roof.

As far as expectations go, Jihoon really didn’t have any. So when he’s greeted by the vast, open emptiness only filled with bright daylight and the passing winds, he wonders why he feels a small tinge of something sour coating the surface of his tongue. It’s not disappointment, at least not yet, and before it can even manifest he gets a whiff of smoke brought in by the next passing breeze coming from the south.

He closes the stairwell door behind him, the latch slamming a lot louder than he intended when the wind adds on to the force. When he makes the turn to head to the back of the roof, he spots Daniel standing stock still with both hands behind his back and his eyes blown wide in surprise. It disappears in the next second though, his shoulders falling from their tense frame as he breathes out a sigh of relief.

“I thought you were a teacher or something,” he says with a small chuckle, his hands coming off his back from where he’s hiding his cigarette. “Why’d you slam the door so hard?”

“Oh, umm—the wind pushed it.” Jihoon’s voice comes out small, his eyes following the trail of Daniel’s hand as he brings it up to draw a smoke. This sudden fixation doesn’t go unnoticed, and Daniel anxiously pulls back.

“S-sorry. I didn’t think you’d actually come. Let me just get rid of this—”

“No, it’s okay.” Jihoon waves a dismissive hand, shaking his head. “You don’t have to stop on my account. It’s fine, it doesn’t bother me.”

The way Daniel looks at him is obvious that he doesn’t really believe that, but he does as Jihoon says regardless and takes a lungful without ever breaking their gaze. It’s more of being challenged than anything, when Jihoon takes the few couple steps forward so that he’s standing beside him by the roof’s cement railing. And maybe he holds his breath a little when some of the smoke coming out of Daniel’s mouth blows in his direction but he’s not about to admit that.

“Is this where you usually hang out with Donghan and the others?” He asks in his most casual voice, leaning his elbows on the ledge. This part of the roof opens up to the part of town behind their school, giving them a view of the small cluster of buildings populating the area.

“Not really. Our usual spot is around the back of the gym,” Daniel says, following suit and leaning beside him. “They don’t really know that I’m here. This is kind of where I go to when I just want to be alone sometimes.”

Jihon doesn’t even hold back the chuckle at that, the sound squeaking out in a tight burst of breath. “The popular top dog wants to be alone? Well that’s something.”

“It’s true though.” Daniel laughs along, unfazed by his snark. “You’re actually the first person to ever come up here with me.”

Something about the way Daniel says that suddenly shifts the atmosphere, and Jihoon can feel the familiar warmth starting to creep up from the base of his neck immediately right after. He stays facing the view ahead of them, letting the unobstructed wind ruffle his hair and blow against his face as he settles in the quiet that forms between him and Daniel. 

“I’ve been thinking about...you know,” he says, not really sure himself why he’s even bringing it up or where he’s going with this; completely acting on instinct. “I know you told me not to stress out about it too much but...frankly that’s kind of a huge thing to ask for after what you told me that night.”

He turns to face Daniel then, and he sees him doing pretty much the same thing as him—his eyes guarded as he regards his words in silence, letting him go on.

“You’ve been honest about your feelings with me...and I think you deserve to get an honest answer in return.” Jihoon nods, breathing in deep with pursed lips. He looks down a little, shaking his head and forcing the words out of him. “The thing is...I don’t really know how I feel about you yet.”

Another breeze passes, and it whistles a quiet hum between them that fills the otherwise empty lull. Daniel slowly gives him a nod, breaking eye contact and pulling his lips in a taut smile. “I understand. I’m sorry I—”

“No, Dan—”

“It’s okay Jihoon. You don’t have to explain—”

“Can you just listen and let me finish?” He doesn’t know where the courage to step forward and take one of Daniel’s wrists comes from, but Jihoon needs him to shut up and he realizes then how much he hates the hurt and defeat that’s crossed the older boy’s features just now.

“I said I wasn’t sure yet—but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you or that I won’t in the same way that you do for me,” he says, breaking whatever fight Daniel had in him just now. “It’s just...we’ve only ever really started talking to each other recently, and I’m just starting to see the side of you that I do like. This is all really new to me and I don’t want to just give you an answer without really thinking about it first. I just need some time to figure things out.”

He lets go of Daniel’s hand then, suddenly feeling small. He’s never poured his heart out like that before, much less to someone who never in his wildest dreams did he ever think he would ever be having this conversation with. 

“So...do you want me to give you some space?” Daniel asks in a low tone, and Jihoon looks up to see his face a painting of hesitation. “I don’t want to mess things up with you. So if I’m pressuring you in any way, just tell me and I’ll keep myself in line.”

It’s a little startling, seeing Daniel be vulnerable here in school where he’s usually the one preying on vulnerability that it just makes it that much clearer how sincere he’s being. Jihoon shakes his head, hoping the smile he makes is at least as reassuring as he wants him to feel.

“You don’t have to stay away,” he starts, shrugging a little. “I mean, we were friends once weren’t we? And I know it’s been a long time since then, but I also haven’t forgotten. Maybe we can start from there.”

Daniel just stares back at him for a long while, to the point that Jihoon starts to feel that maybe he’s given the wrong answer or that he’s asking for way too much out of an apparent rejection. He’s set himself for the worse so when Daniel starts to nod again, his relief is unbounded.

“That’s...a way better answer than I ever hoped for,” he says, his smile starting to come out and revealing his front teeth. “Friends, then.”

He extends a hand, and Jihoon almost laughs at the formality of it. He takes it nonetheless, his stubby hands wrapping around Daniel’s.

“Is it too early to ask for your number?” The older boy follows up, and Jihoon can see his ears turning a little pink. “I, umm—I just thought it’d be a lot easier than dropping notes in your locker all the time. Way more eco-friendly too.”

Jihoon doesn’t hold himself back this time and lets out the laugh bubbling over his chest, reaching behind to take his backpack off and pull his phone out to hand it to Daniel. 

For the remaining time they have from between exchanging their numbers up until the lunch bell rings again, a silence that’s a lot more comfortable and familiar wraps around them as they simply gaze over the view from the roof; a feeling that mildly reminds Jihoon of a time back in the courtyard outside their first grade classroom.

And the feeling follows him much throughout the entire week from then on. They still don’t talk to each other openly per se—Jihoon is still mostly glued to Woojin while Daniel is still the acting alpha amongst his own friends—but there are more than a handful of moments where a bubble forms just for the two of them that’s filled with the small nothings of their own understanding.

There’s the occasional note inside Jihoon’s locker that he finds on random times of the day, scribbled with small messages like ‘ _good morning’, ‘see you tomorrow’,_ and _‘have a nice day’_ that are all always punctuated by a smiley face with its tongue sticking out at the end. There’s the playful banter on their fast-growing stream of text messages which—aside from Jihoon trying to get Daniel to actually stop leaving him such notes since it’s becoming way too hard to hide from Woojin, that is then always followed by a barrage of sad puppy images that always gets him laughing—are also filled with random discussions from the crappy lunch menu they're served with on Wednesdays at the cafeteria to their headache-inducing calculus homework due by the end of the week. 

In the spaces left between their short text messages and soundless conversations, however, come the manifestation of shy and secretive gestures in the eyes of nobody but their own. The covert smiles thrown whenever Daniel catches him stealing glances from his seat in the classroom, the knowing looks on their faces in the rare times they pass each other by in the halls and stairways when no one else is looking, and the seconds right before Jihoon leaves to head home when he sees the older boy staring at him from the far side of the entrance of the school. It isn’t even that much of an interaction, but Jihoon somehow always ends up with his skin tingling and flushed.

It doesn’t really leave much in the way for him to think about and mull over his own feelings, however, especially when thoughts of Daniel almost always permeate his mind. Before he even knows it, Friday has come and gone and the final bell is already ushering everyone into the weekend. 

“You didn’t tell me you two were working today,” Woojin says from beside him, stopping in his tracks on their walk towards the bus stop. The sudden movement splatters a bit of the rain falling from his best friend’s umbrella down to his feet; it had started raining earlier during lunch and it hasn’t really let up until now.

“Hm?” Jihoon raises a brow, turning his head when Woojin just juts his chin and motions for him to look forward. There on the bench under the bus stop’s shelter and sitting alone is none other than Daniel.

By now, he’s more or less used to how his chest always seems to secrete this sort of heat just by merely seeing the older boy in near proximity—simply passing it off as something he just can’t put a label on yet as he lets the sensation roll over his body. It doesn’t nearly leave him feeling as ambushed as it otherwise did earlier in the week, but what _does_ surprise him is seeing how he’s seemingly waiting for him right at this moment.

“He didn’t tell me either,” he says then, earning him a snort from his best friend.

“Since when does that bastard think he can come over to your house without even telling you first?” Woojin huffs under his breath, hushed so only Jihoon can hear. “I swear, you just let the guy in once and he suddenly thinks he’s above you.”

“Actually, he’s been over twice now.” Jihoon says, shrugging casually. “And we do kinda have to work on our report so…”

Woojin turns to him then, his face a horrid mix of astonishment and repulsion, right before he sighs and shakes his head. “Whatever. ‘Guess I’ll just see you tomorrow then.”

Jihoon hums and nods as Woojin turns leaves in the other direction, taking a deep breath himself when he faces forward again and heads for what awaits him. Walking closer, he sees that Daniel is reading his copy of their novel, his face squinting in concentration and completely oblivious to them just now.

“Hey,” Jihoon greets him, folding his umbrella when he comes up to stand beside him under the shelter. Daniel looks up, his focused face instantly brightening into a wide smile as he gets up from the bench.

“Oh, hey! Didn’t see you there.”

He returns the smile, and he momentarily realizes that this is the first time since that day on the roof that he’s actually getting to talk to him up close and in person again. Something in his chest flips at the thought, a weird little hiccup that he doesn’t really know what to feel about.

“I didn’t know you were planning on coming over today,” he says, groping for the first thing at the top of his head to hide his stumble. Daniel takes this in surprise though, his smile faltering in place of worry.

“Oh, umm—did you have plans today? Sorry, I can just go if you can’t—”

“N-no—I just meant, umm—” Jihoon’s hand flies to the top of his head, scratching in a stutter. “You should’ve told me. If I knew then I would’ve gotten here earlier.”

“Ah, that’s alright.” Daniel’s smile goes up again in a beat. “It wasn’t that long, and I don’t mind waiting for you anyway.”

That last sentiment echoes of something much larger than what Jihoon initially meant as him waiting at the stop. He feels a lump forming in his throat and it suddenly becomes difficult to look Daniel in the eye in the next few seconds. Thankfully though, the bus rolls around and parks in front of them not too long after, breaking whatever tension there is before it can fully form.

“Do you wanna listen to some music?” Daniel asks him once they’re seated, pulling out a small mp3 player from his backpack. Jihoon only nods, a small smile on his lips when he watches Daniel pull out his earphones and furiously rubs the buds on the edge of his uniform shirt before passing one ear to him.

The music soon comes in, mellow strums of an electric guitar and a few background synths that bring out the mood of soft rock music. Jihoon supposes he isn’t all that surprised when the singer starts singing in English once the song starts picking up, and even though he can’t understand much of the words, the song in itself is nice. Looking out at the rain-speckled window, entranced in Daniel’s music and feeling his warmth grazing on one side of his body makes the entire journey fly by in absolute serenity that by the time the bus gets to their stop, he almost doesn’t want to get up and leave.

And maybe he was right in feeling that because the moment they alight and step out, the rain’s only gotten stronger with a cold chill; the kind of torrential downpour that lets him know he won’t be getting home completely dry.

He sighs to himself, taking out his umbrella only for him to see Daniel doing none of the same.

“What’s wrong?” Jihoon blinks at him, and asking it out loud immediately gives his brain an answer even before Daniel speaks.

“I, umm—don’t have an umbrella.”

“Oh. Well, come on then. We can share mine.”

As normal as the statement sounds, the reaction that flashes on Daniel’s face is one that makes Jihoon feel like what he just said is the most ludicrous thing in the world. He shakes his head, lips pursed.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to share it with me. You’ll only get wet if you do,” Daniel says, and this time Jihoon doesn’t hold back the eyeroll he feels coming.

“And how do you intend to get to my house then?” He raises an eyebrow, sarcastic and challenging, right before he steps forward and grabs Daniel’s wrist to pull him next to him. The force of it is a little too strong and he almost finds himself colliding with Daniel’s chest, and the sudden proximity has him feeling none of the cold that’s breezing all around them.

“Umm, I think it’s better if you hold this.” Jihoon breaks the silence and passes him the umbrella, nodding at their height difference. Daniel puts it over their heads then, looking every bit as flushed as Jihoon feels.

“Ready?” He asks, taking in the older boy’s silent nod before they step forward under the torrent. Almost immediately his left arm gets wet, causing him to instinctively push himself nearer towards the center of their only protection and bumping shoulders with Daniel. He doesn’t dare look up to see his face but he can feel him tensing beside him, the hand holding his umbrella looking white at the knuckles. 

“Here, let me just—” Daniel shifts their position, maneuvering Jihoon so that he’s standing a little ahead of him. It gives him enough space to loop an arm over his shoulder, pulling him closer so that they’re both completely under the shade. It’s a pretty logical and efficient position to be in considering their situation, but Jihoon can’t really focus on that when at the moment, his entire body is pressed and encased into Daniel’s.

“Umm, is this okay?” The older boy asks, hesitant and shy that’s clearly telling of how much this affects him as well. Jihoon just nods—a little too vigorously—seeing as they’re not really left with a lot of other choices.

So they trek on, huddled together and taking slow steps in the direction of Jihoon’s house. Besides the fact that his shoes are starting to squelch and that the ends of his pants are soaked, he pretty much stays dry everywhere else by the time they finally make it to his front gate where he hurriedly punches in the code to let them in. Rather than feeling triumphant over their little obstacle just now, he feels the opposite when they finally reach the front door only to see that almost the entire right side of Daniel’s body is drenched.

“Hoonie? Is that you?” His mom calls in from the kitchen, breaking his opportunity to comment on anything else at the moment.

“Yeah mom. And Daniel’s here.”

And just like he expects, she comes out beaming to greet them. “Daniel, hi! It’s so good to see you again! Oh dear, the rain’s really coming down hard isn’t it. Are you boys okay?”

Daniel does a complete ninety-degree bow, much to Jihoon’s ever present surprise. He really ought to get used to this by now.

“Just a little wet, but we’re okay. It’s nice to see you again too Mrs. Park.”

His mom nods at him, still smiling widely when she says, “I guess it’s good that I haven’t started making dinner yet. You’ll be staying over this time won’t you?”

“Oh, umm—if it’s not too much trouble,” Daniel says bowing again. And Jihoon doesn’t know what to do with the fact that he actually feels a little excited that he said yes this time.

“Wonderful! Do you have any dinner requests, dear?”

Daniel turns pink at that, his good boy image slightly marred with his stumbling words. “Ah, anything is fine Mrs. Park. You don’t have to—”

“His favorite is beef bulgogi mom,” Jihoon comes to his rescue, chuckling a little with a feigned roll of the eyes. “And we have work to do. We’ll be in my room.”

“Alright, alright. I’ll call you boys when dinner is ready,” his mom says, finally conceding. “Just make yourself at home, alright Daniel?”

“Yes, Mrs. Park. Thank you.”

After one last bow and a smile, Jihoon finally gets away from his mom’s clutches as he leads him and Daniel up to his bedroom. It’s already the third time he’s been in here, but even then he still can’t get past the initial shyness he gets when he opens the door for them and lets him in.

“Do you want to change your shirt?” Jihoon asks, nodding to his uniform’s state with a light frown. “I told you to share my umbrella, not just hold it over my head while you get all the damage.”

Unsurprisingly, Daniel only chuckles at him and waves him off with a dismissive hand. “I’m fine, Jihoon. It’s just a little rain, I’ll live.”

He merely huffs a breath and starts walking to his couch and coffee table where they usually work on, shedding his backpack and taking his wet socks off as Daniel follows suit.

“How do you know beef bulgogi is my favorite?” He suddenly asks, taking a seat on the floor across from him. Jihoon just shrugs while he busies himself with taking his books and notes out.

“You told me, remember?” He says, ruffling through his bag. “We were texting the other night and you told me you couldn’t sleep and that you were craving for food. So I asked you what your favorite food was and you told me.” 

He’s not really thinking much of it besides relaying the factual answer to his question, and it’s really only when he looks up and sees the look Daniel is giving him does he realize the implication of him even having a straight and solid answer like that. He can feel the base of his neck warming up when the thought fully sinks in, making him look away and focus on unnecessarily straightening the line of his pens on the table.

“Um, right.” Daniel clears his throat, although there’s no hiding the smile in his voice even if Jihoon doesn’t see it. “So, uhh—how much have you read of the novel now?”

Jihoon opens where he’s slotted in his bookmark, all too eager to jump into work. “I’m about halfway through. There are still a few parts that confuse me but I marked them like you said.”

“Alright, good.” Daniel nods, absentmindedly putting on his glasses and clicking his pen to write on his notes. “Do you have a favorite character by now?”

“Hmm, not really.” Jihoon snorts with a shake of his head. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m just not getting it but I think everyone in the book is a little annoying.”

“Oh?” That gets Daniel to look up, an eyebrow raised. “How so?”

“I just get this feeling that the people in the story aren’t really thinking that much about things. Like Juliet, for instance.” Jihoon gestures to his open page, exasperation seeping out in waves. “At first I kinda liked her because she’s a lot more sensible about things—but then she goes ahead and asks to get married to Romeo right at the next second and I’m like, what the hell?”

Daniel just laughs at him, and Jihoon doesn’t know whether what he’s writing down then is exactly what he just said or something else entirely. “That’s kind of the essence of the story,” he says with a small shrug. “People tend to do crazy things when they’re in love, even things against their better judgment.”

“Are they even really in love though?” Jihoon snorts, leaning back on his hands as he slouches off the couch. “I mean, they only met each other at that party and even then, Romeo was still hung up on that Rosaline girl when he met Juliet and kissed her. They barely even know each other, so how can we even say they’re really in love?”

Daniel looks up at him at that, but this time his eyes are holding something in them that Jihoon can’t quite put his finger on. It lingers in the air of his gaze, piercing through him with a meaning he doesn’t fully understand. And just when he thinks he’s about to get an answer, Daniel just points his pen at him and smirks.

“Now _that’s_ a smart question. I’m sure Mrs. Lee would love to read that on our report,” he says, right before he burrows his face down again and starts jotting it down. Jihoon lets out a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding, feeling a little winded.

The rest of the afternoon flies by mostly in this sense, with Daniel bringing about an atmosphere that’s completely centered on their project that Jihoon has no other choice but to follow along. It’s probably the most productive they’ve been since working on this report together and by the time they hear a knock on the door, his brain feels like it’s just run a marathon.

“So how’s the project coming along?” Jihoon’s mom asks at the door. Daniel nods to her while all he does is raise a defeated hand from where he’s currently sprawled all along the length of his couch.

“It’s going great Mrs. Park. I’m definitely aiming for a hundred on this,” Daniel says, and Jihoon can hear rather than see the proud smile he probably has on. If he’d have heard that any other day, he’d probably scoff at the statement altogether. But after what Daniel’s put through just now, he’s not even the least bit surprised.

“And here I thought Jihoon was going to have to take remedial English classes.”

“Mom!” Jihoon rises up from his seat, much to the laughter of the other two.

“Anyway, I just came to tell you that dinner will be ready in half an hour. Oh, and Daniel—” She turns to him, her face simmering down to a look of concern. “I just heard on the news that this awful rain won’t be leaving any time soon and in fact, some areas around town are already starting to flood.”

Jihoon doesn’t really see it because he’s turned the other way towards where his mom is, but the sound of Daniel’s voice when he answers is enough to let him know what expression he’s probably holding.

“Oh. I see.”

Jihoon’s mom picks up on it immediately, however, bringing her smile back up. “Of course, you’re more than welcome to spend the night here with us, dear. There’s a guest room you can sleep in, or you can stay in here with Jihoonie if you prefer. I just think you should probably mention it to your mom first so she won’t worry.”

“Oh, umm—right. Okay. Thank you Mrs. Park.”

Daniel bows low until his mom leaves the room, and it’s only when it’s just the two of them again that Jihoon sees the worry slowly escalating on his face.

“Hey, you don't have to ask my permission,” Jihoon says ahead of him, guessing at his concern. “I’m not about to kick you out in the rain you know. You don’t even have an umbrella.” He chuckles lightly to make it sound more casual, and he gives himself a little pat on the back when he can see Daniel visibly relaxing a little.

“Umm...thanks. But that’s not really all I’m worried about.” He sighs, pulling his phone out of his bag. “I have to work tomorrow.”

Jihoon blinks. He’s almost forgotten about that, and although he’s reminded now it still leaves him a bit blank. 

“Is your work far from here?”

Daniel bites his lower lip, shaking his head. “Well, not really. But I only have my school uniform with me right now and I can’t exactly wear this to work. I can wear my pants but they’re still a little wet.”

Somehow the way Daniel says that in complete worry totally escapes Jihoon’s sense of urgency, because truth be told, he can’t really grasp the problem here.

“We have a washer and a dryer downstairs so we can get your pants cleaned up. And I have a lot of shirts you can borrow that’ll probably fit you.”

Daniel’s eyes widen, and again looking like Jihoon just said the most preposterous thing on earth. “Jihoon...I can’t—”

“Why not? Do you think I’m gross?” Jihoon raises an eyebrow, challenging the smile Daniel’s obviously holding back on. “I wash my clothes very well, I’ll have you know. _And_ they smell great.”

He wins, and Daniel’s face cracks up to reveal his front teeth as he chortles out an airy laugh. After conceding with a nod and a small mutter of thanks, Jihoon gives him the privacy to call his mom while he pretends to clean his room and pack up their school work. It gives him a little time to actually digest and think about the whole issue of Daniel suddenly staying over for the night, only for him to quickly realize that his head is surprisingly clear of thoughts to ponder about.

They head down to dinner soon after they settle things, and the whole ordeal more or less leaves Jihoon following through on this thoughtlessness. It really shouldn't come as a surprise at this point, but it still slightly blows him away how this is literally only the second time Daniel is spending dinner with his family and yet he gives about a feeling that he’s been coming over to do this all his life. It’s strange, really, but what’s even more strange is the fact that Jihoon finds himself simply accepting this little detail again without even an ounce of reluctance.

“You can go and shower first. There’s a spare towel in there you can use and you can just go and grab a toothbrush inside the medicine cabinet,” Jihoon says once they’re back in his room after dinner, pointing Daniel to the en suite bathroom. “Just give me your uniform first so I can take it downstairs to wash.”

And seeing the small hesitation on Daniel’s face when he says that, he continues. “Relax. I was going to take down my own laundry anyway. It’s no trouble.”

Daniel purses his lips, nodding in assent before entering his bathroom. It’s a couple of seconds before the door opens again with an arm popping out, and Jihoon just grabs the slightly damp clothes being handed to him without a second thought—which is something he ought to have considered first in retrospect because his eyes definitely don’t miss the blue underwear bunched up along with his pants. He can only be glad that there’s a door separating them now, because he’s pretty sure his face just turned beet-red.

“I’ll—umm—leave you some clothes on the bed,” he says in a fluster, finally managing to move his legs after he hears a muffled okay from the bathroom. 

Maybe he spoke too soon about not really minding Daniel being here tonight, because by the time Jihoon’s finished loading their clothes in the laundry room and walked back upstairs, he’s met with another blunder in the form of a half-naked Daniel standing by the foot of his bed and just getting ready to put a shirt on. He has his back turned at the very least, but jihoon still ultimately regrets not having the foresight that Daniel is a good couple of inches taller than him because the shorts he has on right now is definitely showing a lot more skin than he ever wanted to see.

“Oh, I didn’t hear you come in,” Daniel says when he finally turns and notices him, completely oblivious to Jihoon’s racing heart. “Thanks for the clothes. You’re right, they do smell nice.”

He’s flashed a smile, but all Jihoon can really think about at the moment is pale skin, broad shoulders, slender thighs and blue underwear.

“I’m—going to shower,” he says, robotically brisking up his steps to get to the bathroom where he proceeds to douse himself with _extremely_ cold water. It’s probably the longest shower he’s ever had to take in his own home, but as long as he doesn’t feel like his hair is about to self-combust then he couldn’t care less.

Daniel’s sitting on the floor in front of his shelf by the time Jihoon’s deemed himself relaxed enough to be in the same room again. He sees him looking at the lower rack where he keeps all his videogames, his already small eyes made even tinier as he squints to read the titles.

“Do you wanna play?” Jihoon asks, making the older boy jump a little in surprise. Daniel scratches the back of his head, sheepish in getting caught when he shrugs.

“Ah, I was just looking. It’s okay.”

Jihoon sits beside him then, hoping he’s reading him right when he reaches over and pulls out the latest spider-man game from the shelf and raises it with a hand. 

“You sure?”

All it takes is half a smirk and an eyebrow raised in challenge for Daniel’s resolve to wither, and practically no time at all for him to be sitting in front of the TV with his glasses on and holding one of the controllers to Jihoon’s PS4. 

And it’s like something clicks into place—a solid shift in their dynamic so palpable that Jihoon almost forgets who the person sitting beside him is. When Daniel starts playing, a kind of seriousness that he wholeheartedly understands himself envelops around his entire being that makes the resulting connection that much more apparent.

The way Daniel listens to his advice on how to defeat the first boss he encounters, executing every move he’s dictating perfectly; the way they scream their lungs out at the same time when he dies on screen, their passionate drive so thick you can taste it in the air; the seamlessness in which Daniel passes the controller to Jihoon when he’s asking for help, taking over like as if they shared the same brain. It’s a little overwhelming, because Jihoon can’t help but think how the only other time he’s felt this with anyone was with Woojin and that’s largely in part of the fact that they’ve practically been glued to the hip since they were six.

It’s probably inconsequential—after all, you can’t really go wrong with two teenage boys and videogames in the equation—but the way Daniel looks back at him in then in that moment, breathless and grinning and quiet, spells out a different kind of magnitude that Jihoon doesn’t think is purely coincidence.

“Shit, it’s past midnight,” the older boy says, breaking the silence and turning to look at the wall clock. “You sleepy yet?”

Jihoon lets out a soft laugh, shaking his head. “Not really.”

“Me neither.” Daniel smiles at him, and it’s one that’s practically impossible not to return. “Wanna play another game?”

The quiet chuckle turns into something fuller, hands flying to his mouth in habit. “As much as I want to, we should probably head to bed. You still have work tomorrow.”

Daniel lets out a groan as he tips his head to the ceiling, much to Jihoon’s amusement.

“Hey, you’re supposed to be the older one here. C’mon, get up.” Jihoon rises from the floor, grabbing the remote and turning the TV off. He switches the console off next and tidies up the controllers, crossing his arms when Daniel is still staring up at him from his place on the floor. “Daniel, don’t make me—”

“Hyung.”

Jihoon pauses, blinking a little in surprise. Daniel doesn’t break eye contact and easily gets up from the floor, towering over him. 

“You say I’m older, but how come you never call me hyung?” He raises a playful eyebrow, and in a quieter voice says, “You used to. Remember?”

It’s the challenge that piques him, and Jihoon finds that he can’t really quite stop himself when he takes a step forward and flashes up a smirk. “Would you like that? Do you want me to call you _hyung?”_

If Daniel was ever even prepared for a quick response, it ultimately fails when his mouth just hangs open limply in the following moment. Jihoon gets his triumph not much later when the older boy follows up with a weak nod, causing his smirk to grow wicked.

"Well that's too bad then, _Daniel_." Jihoon playfully slaps the back of his hand on his chest, trying his best not to look fazed when he feels how hard and solid it is against his fingers as he walks past him towards his bed.

"Brat," Daniel mutters, although the smile on his face and the slight pink in his ears tell just how much he actually means that. When he walks over to where he's now sat on the bed, however, the mischief in the moment ultimately fizzles out when they simultaneously realize their next predicament.

"Oh, umm—Woojin usually just sleeps next to me when he comes over." Jihoon stutters, awkwardly patting the bed. "Umm, if you don't feel comfortable sleeping here, I can take you to the guest room if you want?"

"Ah, no it's okay," Daniel says, a hand flying up to his nape. "I'll just sleep on your couch. It's no problem."

Jihoon frowns a little at that, eyes going over to his small two-seater sofa and then back to him. "Daniel, you do realize how big you are, right?"

He only gets a soft chuckle and a smile, one that he can't say he likes the implication of. "I've slept in tighter places before Jihoon. Trust me, your couch is definitely an upgrade."

Daniel walks over without much more fanfare and settles down on the sofa, resting his head on one end while half of his long legs dangle over the other. He takes his glasses off and places it on the coffee table, all the while Jihoon watches him.

He thinks about the bed Daniel has in his room back when he was over at his place, the thought and image it conjures in his mind setting off something sour in his gut; a single strand that burns at the edges of his chest. He doesn’t really give himself the time to think much when he gathers up his pillows and blankets in his arms and proceeds to walk over to where Daniel is, throwing a blanket and a pillow over him before he settles his own set on the carpeted floor just beside the small couch.

“Jihoon? What are you—?”

“If you’re not going to sleep on the bed then neither am I,” he says matter of factly. He can feel Daniel directing a frown at him, but he ignores the face and just walks up to switch the lights off.

“Jihoon, stop.”

“Stop what?”

“You know what.” Daniel sighs, and Jihoon can see him scratching his head in frustration in the darkness. “Go back to your bed.”

“Hey, this is _my_ room, remember?” He counters, casually fluffing up his pillow and getting comfortable. “I can sleep wherever the hell I want. And tonight I’m sleeping here.”

Even in the darkness, Jihoon can still feel his gaze boring down on him when he lies down and faces the ceiling. He doesn’t relent and eventually, he hears Daniel let out one final sigh of defeat followed by the sound of movement as he finally settles down himself and gives up. The silence that follows is one that’s perfectly fit for slumber, but even with his eyes closed and his body relaxed, Jihoon knows Daniel is still wide awake above him just as much as he is. 

“Do you and Woojin do this often?” Daniel finally speaks up, his quiet voice breaking the lull in their mutual sleeplessness. It’s a weird question though, one that Jihoon doesn’t immediately understand.

“Do what?”

A muffled sound of ruffling blankets, and Jihoon guesses that Daniel must be gesturing out of sight. “This,” he says. “Playing games. Sleepovers. This sort of thing.”

“Oh. Umm, yeah I guess.” Jihoon just shrugs, never really having thought about it before. “We sleep over at each other’s house almost every weekend, I think. Not that it’s a big deal though. Things have just kind of always been that way.”

It’s kind of a strange thing to say out loud, especially to someone like Daniel. And it gets even more disquieting when all he hears in response for the first couple of minutes is a soft hum.

“He’s a lucky guy,” Daniel says after a while, his tone heavy with sincerity. “I mean, getting to be close to you and all.”

“You say that as if you never had the same chances as him,” Jihoon answers without thinking, his breath just short of a snort.

“Did I ever though?” Daniel chuckles, the sound coming off more sarcastic than amused. 

“Of course you did.” Jihoon presses, unaware of how his own two brows are creasing to a small dip. “We’ve shared the same class for more than five years. We practically breathed in the same air and saw each other every single day in school. You had all the chances then.”

He only ever realizes how defensive he sounds after he’s said it out loud, which only serves to plant an uneasy seed right in the middle of his stomach. He doesn’t even know why he feels even the slightest bit riled up about this.

“Well,I guess you’re not wrong,” Daniel says with another of the same laugh as earlier. “But to be fair, you weren’t exactly the most approachable person in class, and you never did try talking to me either. You were always so quiet. Only kept to yourself and to Woojin and—I don’t know. I guess I always just had this feeling that you didn’t want to have anything to do with me.”

It’s like a solid punch to the gut, the blow hitting all the right parts of him in one jab. Jihoon purses his lips, thinking about all the times he’s deliberately avoided the older boy and made sure that there paths never so much as crossed by a hairline. He’s been doing it for years to the point that it’s simply become second nature to him; not even realizing—or more so, _caring_ —that the person he’d been avoiding all this time actually felt his own repulsion.

“That wasn’t always the case though.” Jihoon starts, breathing deep as he opens a wound he’s closed off a long time ago. “I meant what I said...about how I remember everything from before. We were in fifth grade when we started being in the same class again, and back then I had always wanted to talk to you. In fact, I almost did.”

He trails off, leaving the air completely still with his words floating in the spaces in between. He’s only really made aware of its length when Daniel pipes up to prompt.

“...but?”

Another breath, and this time Jihoon lets it trickle out of his body in a long, steady sigh. “You changed. Or maybe you didn’t. Maybe you’ve always been this way and I just didn’t see it, but...I didn’t like the person I saw back then. I guess I thought the boy I gave my gummy bears to back when we were kids wasn’t there anymore...so I stopped trying.”

A pause settles, heavy and steadily inflating as the seconds tick by in silence. Jihoon has never said that out loud before, not even to Woojin nor to himself. The thing is, that piece of his memory has always been at the back of his mind for some reason, always lingering and always reminding him of its existence whenever he so much as hears even a single breath of sound coming from Daniel’s direction. 

“What about now?” Daniel asks, his voice quieter, mixing with emotions that’s not all too apparent. “Do you still not like the person you’re seeing?”

Jihoon knows what question he’s really being asked, just as much as he knows that it all comes down to a simple yes or no—two words he can’t really find the weight of yet.

“I told you, I’m still trying to figure it out,” he says instead, hoping his honesty bleeds through his words. “But if anything, I guess the fact that I’m telling you this now means I don’t really dislike you as much as I thought.”

“Or maybe you’re just using me so you won’t flunk English.”

Jihoon sits up at that, shooting his body up from the floor until he’s face to face with Daniel in a panic. A waste of his emotions really, when he sees even through limited visibility the glaring brightness of Daniel’s teeth as he grins wickedly.

“I take it back. I actually hate you.” Jihoon pouts, earning him a breathy chuckle and a large hand to come up and reach over his head, ruffling his hair.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” Daniel says, pulling his hand back in the next second as if suddenly realizing what he’s doing. He clears his throat, setting his lips in a tight line before he continues. “I’m, uhh—actually glad we were paired up for this project.”

It rattles at something from his memory, echoing in startling clarity until it hits the surface strong enough to make out a shape. What Mrs. Lee told him that day, of how it was Daniel who specifically asked that he get paired with him to make this report. It brings up a smile to his face, one he can’t tamp down no matter how hard he tries to bite his lips.

“We should sleep. It’s getting way too late,” he says, breaking their gaze and settling back down on the floor. He hears Daniel let out a yawn and a stretch, catching it himself in the following second just as his head hits the pillow.

“Goodnight Jihoon,” Daniel says, still sounding cheeky and way too happy.

“Goodnight hyung,” he whispers back, soft and quiet but definitely heard if the hitched breath he hears just now is anything to go by. It’s a long shot, and probably a little too early to tell, but Jihoon drifts off to sleep that night holding on to the thought that maybe he’d been wrong all this time. Maybe the boy he gave his gummy bears to back when they were kids is still here, sleeping on the couch beside him.

  
  
  
  
  


***

  
  
  
  
  


“You’re kidding me, right? _Please_ tell me you’re joking.”

Jihoon sighs, scratching his head and looking down. Woojin stands in front of him from where he’s seated on the couch in his room—the pillows and blankets that he and Daniel used last night still sprawled over—looking aghast with his eyes wide. 

It had been a rather eventful morning. He and Daniel had woken up a few hours ago and were just having brunch with his family downstairs when Woojin stopped by. Having totally forgotten that his best friend was even coming over today, Jihoon doesn’t think there’s even much for him to salvage or hide from the situation by the time he had walked into the dining room and locked eyes with him and Daniel eating on the table.

The older boy had left for work by now, and Jihoon had just finished putting Woojin up to speed—from how he and Daniel are _definitely_ not the cat and mouse duo that Woojin thinks they are, to what happened the day he went over to Daniel’s place, all the way down to him confessing his feelings. 

The last bit was definitely something he wanted to keep for himself, but it’s the information he ultimately had to sacrifice to fill Woojin in enough so he doesn’t ask anything further; he’s not ready to tell him about how he and Daniel knew each other from before, and he definitely doesn’t want to talk about his current state of living.

“Woojin, you either believe me or you don’t but I’m telling you the truth,” Jihoon says, trying to keep himself from sounding too exasperated. One of them at any given time is enough.

“Yeah, _you're_ telling the truth. But don't tell me you actually believe _him."_

Jihoon sighs again, but this time he’s sure to put his foot down on the matter. The last time Woojin got into his head about Daniel, things didn’t exactly end up too well.

“Well, he hasn’t exactly done anything to contradict himself. And—”

“Oh my God _,_ you do!” Woojin is pacing back and forth now, and Jihoon almost feels like he’s being scolded by his parents like that one time he bailed on his piano lessons when he was nine. “Why didn't you tell me this sooner?”

“Because I knew you’d overreact like this! Everytime Daniel's involved, you always jump to the worst possible—"

“Wait-wait-wait—what did you say to him?"

Jihoon blinks, not really liking the scent Woojin's picked up on. "What do you mean what did I say to him?"

"When he confessed to you. What did you tell him?"

Jihoon bites his lips, thinking of an answer that won't incriminate him. A mistake because that second's worth of hesitation is already the most self-incriminating act he can do.

"Oh my God—do you like him back?!"

"N-no—!"

"But you didn’t reject him either!"

"That’s ‘cause I’m still figuring out my feelings first!"

"What the _fuck?!"_

Woojin practically spits it out, his voice reaching up to a whole new pitch while his face goes livid in hysterics. Jihoon gives himself time to breathe, doing everything he can to hold on to his remaining morsel of patience.

“Woojin, can you please just calm down?”

“ _Calm down?!_ Do you hear yourself right now?

"Woojin." Jihoon lowers his own voice down, mustering an air of seriousness in his tone. "Please."

It takes a little while, but his best friend eventually catches a drift of reason and finally relents with a heavy breath. He stops his mad pacing, albeit still keeping up the heavy frown he has on up where his arms are crossed.

“If you’re telling me to change my opinion on that bastard, then I’m sorry because that’s just not happening.”

“I’m not asking you to,” Jihoon says, pausing a little to close his eyes before continuing. “Look, I get it, okay? I don’t expect you to see things differently just because I said so. All I’m asking is that you keep an open mind and maybe, try to understand what _I’m_ seeing.” He lets out a sigh again. Never did he ever think a day would come where he would feel the need to defend Kang Daniel from his best friend. “If you can’t do it for him, then at least do it for me.”

Jihoon knows that Woojin isn’t heartless or unreasonable, even despite the way he’s behaving. Ultimately he knows that most of his friend’s disapproval simply comes from a place of concern, similar in kind to what gets him to finally breathe out a brunt of resentment and nod.

“Fine. Fine,” Woojin says, his head bobbing up and down before pointing a finger to him. “But you owe me ice cream. For not telling me sooner.”

As consequential as that sounds, Jihoon can’t really find it in him not to feel happy with this turnabout. He doesn’t hold back the smile that comes and in fact, exaggerates the way his mouth stretches when he says in a high pitched voice, “Love you Woojin.”

His friend just makes a face, flipping him the finger before waltzing over to his console to turn on the PS4.

As unplanned as it all was, Jihoon comes to the realization the following week at school that telling Woojin had been the right call. It's a lot easier to navigate his day without constantly having to be conscious about hiding, seeing as it's already enough of a surprise that the little folded notes falling from his locker are coming out more often these days whenever he goes and takes out his books.

It allows him to be a little less discreet as well, which fundamentally gives him the courage midweek to arrive at their classroom way earlier than he usually does just so he can leave the pack of gummy bears he bought the day before right on top of Daniel's desk. 

“You’re gross, you know that?” Woojin comments when he returns to his seat beside him, his face a bare grimace from above the book he’s reading.

“Shut up.” Jihoon smacks the back of his arm, chuckling. “I’m just being nice.” 

“And here I thought _he_ was the one who confessed, not the other way around.”

Whatever comeback Jihoon might’ve had on that front is immediately trampled when the familiar raucous brought about by the person in question comes echoing down the hall outside their classroom. He clamps his lips shut and faces away from Woojin, taking his time to pull his books out from his backpack and pretending to be busy.

Later when the lunch bell rings, a familiar piece of a torn notebook page flutters out of his locker without eliciting much of a surprise. What _is_ surprising, however, is the way he feels his heart pounding out a gush of tingling warmth that travels all the way to his fingertips when he reads what’s written on it.

_spend lunch with me? i’m on the roof :)_

There isn’t even a strand of hesitation, and after making up some lame excuse to Woojin that he won’t be joining him today, Jihoon finds himself walking up the staircase in a brisk pace a few minutes later—brown lunch bag in hand and his chest still making runs of palpitation

He makes sure to keep the door from slamming this time before he turns his way to the back of the rooftop, easily finding Daniel sitting on the ground and playing a game on his phone. He looks up at the sound of his footsteps, and no sooner does his wide, bucktooth grin spread across his face when he sees him.

“Hey,” Daniel says, patting the space next to him. Jihoon notices that he’s even put a bunch of scrap paper on the floor when he comes over to sit down. “You came.” He sounds in awe, as if he was expecting the opposite again.

“Um, yeah. I brought us sandwiches.” Jihoon raises the paper lunch bag, placing it on his lap before opening and passing a foil-wrapped piece to him. “These are just from the cafeteria though, but I bought the nicer ones. It’s fried beef and cheese.”

Daniel takes it with surprise, his eyebrows shooting up. “Oh. You didn’t have to.”

“It’s fine.” He nods with a smile, taking his own portion out. “I was going to buy some for myself anyway, and I didn’t know if you ate yet so I just went ahead and got some for you too. I figured you probably wouldn’t mind.”

It’s hardly any trouble, but the smile he gets from him afterwards is enough to make him feel like he’d gone and done something wholly out of his own way. It does little to diminish the warmth that’s still coursing through his veins, slowly melting his insides to a pool of bliss.

“Thank you,” Daniel says, sounding shy. “And for the gummy bears this morning—those were from you too, right?”

Jihoon didn’t really hold any sort of expectations over that—he simply wanted to give him something he knows he’ll like—but similar to now, the way Daniel brings it up and expresses his gratitude has his chest beating rapidly.

“Yeah. Did you like it?”

The aghast look that forms on the older boy’s face then gives away the answer as much. “Of course I did,” he says in mock affront, hand over his chest and lip pushed to a pout.

They eat in comfortable silence for a while, bringing in an air that vaguely reminds Jihoon of a time from before; when Daniel first sat with him that day at recess, quiet and unassuming, sharing one of the sandwiches from Jihoon’s lunchbox. The thoughts he had during their sleepover last weekend resurface again, this time strumming more of the strings of his heart over the realization that the Daniel he’s sitting with right now is almost, if not completely, reminiscent of the person he once shared those memories with.

“Hey, umm—Jihoon?”

He snaps out of his reverie and looks up, only to be met with a shy expression of pursed lips and a slightly flushed face. Jihoon just raises a brow in question.

“I know you said you’re still trying to figure things out, so feel free to say no if you don't want to...but umm—” Daniel scratches the back of his head, eyes coming down to his lap. “I kinda just want to give you something in return too. And there’s this really nice bingsu place near town and I just thought that, umm—maybe you'd like to go with me sometime?" 

It's a pretty simple question in essence, but that's because Jihoon doesn't immediately realize why Daniel is being so shy in asking. He doesn't fall behind too long though, and he soon realizes the implication that Daniel is asking him out for the very first time; not for their project or for work or whatever, but simply so they can spend time together. 

"When did you want to go?" He says in answer, pulling Daniel's gaze back to him as he whips his head up in surprise.

"Oh, umm—do you wanna go this Friday?" His tone is hopeful, just barely bordering on disbelief. "We're making good progress on our report anyway, so maybe we can skip working on it this week—if you want."

Jihoon doesn't really think about it all that much, but he finds that there isn't really a part of him that doesn't want to say yes. With the constant pace his heart is beating up until now and the warmth he feels lighting up his entire system—there's just no way he can decline.

"Okay. Friday then.” He nods, smiling as he watches the same expression slowly erupt out of Daniel’s face.

They go back to finishing their food, basking in the silence and comfortable peace simply from being next to each other. They don’t really talk much, but it’s in this calm that Jihoon starts to entertain the thought that Woojin planted on him earlier: maybe he _is_ past the point of simply just wanting to be nice to Daniel. Maybe the way his chest soars and how his skin tingles is already his subconscious telling him the answer to what he’s trying to figure out. 

“I think I like him.” He tells Woojin when Friday finally comes around, thinking it’s the best and most honest explanation he can give to his best friend when he tells him that he’s going out with Daniel for bingsu later. They just got out of their last class for the day and are already packing their books in their lockers—or rather, Jihoon is because all Woojin is doing now is stare at him.

“I’m still waiting for the punchline,” he says, his voice eerily calm. “It’s not coming, is it.”

Jihoon lets out a small sigh, offering a weak smile as he shakes his head. “I know it probably feels a little sudden to you—”

“A _little?”_

Jihoon purses his lips, dipping his head slightly out of shame. “Okay, maybe not a little—but that’s why I’m telling you now. I won’t keep things from you anymore, I promise.”

He does that thing with his eyes that he knows Woojin is a sucker to, which quickly morphs into a wince when all his friend does is flick a finger on his forehead.

“You better.” He deadpans, proceeding to close his locker before shouldering his backpack. “C’mon, where are you meeting the bastard? I’ll walk with you.”

It’s the best Jihoon can hope for and truth be told, he genuinely does feel bad for keeping Woojin in the dark this whole time. But it can be better now, he thinks, and with the way things are going maybe it isn’t too far fetched for him to hope that his best friend can somehow make a friend out of Daniel too one day. Baby steps. 

They head to the bus stop Daniel told him about through text a while ago—somewhere a little ways off from school that Jihoon thinks is even more isolated than the one he takes everyday—before they spot the older boy sitting on the bench by himself and waiting. Daniel sees them too on account that the stop is across the road from where he and Woojin are standing, and he gets up and makes a small wave as they approach.

“Did he tell you where he’s taking you?” Woojin asks under his breath just as Jihoon’s about to cross, his frown still plastered on.

“Umm, not really?” He says, but he lands a playful punch on his friend’s shoulder before he can start to kill Daniel off with his scowl. “Hey, I can take care of myself. Don’t worry, okay?”

Woojin just rolls his eyes, conceding with a sigh. “Fine. Text me, okay? And...have fun.”

Jihoon doesn’t hold back his smile at that, landing another punch on his arm. “I knew you weren’t heartless.”

“Whatever.” He scoffs, turning back and heading his way. “Text me!”

Jihoon just chuckles, waving before he faces forward again and finally crosses over to where Daniel is watching them. Almost immediately does his heart start its familiar haste to pump an unnecessary amount of blood up his face, more stimulated when he smells the same cologne Daniel has a habit of putting on whenever he goes over to their house.

“Hey. Sorry for making you wait.”

Daniel returns the smile, shaking his head stiffly. “No, it’s okay. I only just got here myself.”

“Oh. Cool, okay.” He nods, pursing his lips to keep some semblance of calm aloofness. He can feel Daniel fidgeting a little from beside him as they wait for the bus to arrive, something he knows isn’t really one of his habits which only really serves to heighten his already mad heartbeat. Daniel acting nervous is making _him_ nervous, which is really crazy when he thinks about it because this isn’t even the first time they’re alone together. Jihoon's never really understood the concept of _dating_ before and why everyone seems to make a big deal out of it _,_ but now he thinks he’s finally getting a gist.

“Hey, umm—Jihoon?”

He turns his head to look up at him a little too eagerly, eyebrows raised. “Hm?”

And just when he thought he’d been thinking along the same wavelength, Daniel goes and redirects the pitch, completely missing his bat. “Does, umm—does Woojin know? About...why you’re here?”

To say that he’s left feeling a little stumped is an understatement. He quickly gets a hold of himself though, when he understands the true nature of Daniel’s question: did he tell Woojin or not?

“Umm...yeah. I kinda told him about...you know,” he says with a shrug, and no sooner do the words leave his mouth does Daniel’s face transform into a look of alarm.

“I didn’t tell him everything though,” Jihoon quickly follows up, sounding more defensive than he intended. “Just the part about why we’re hanging out a lot now and...your feelings about me. And I know you said not to tell anyone but—I couldn’t really make up excuses anymore when he caught you at my house last weekend. So I told him.”

He can’t really read him. Daniel’s expression is a frozen look that’s a mix of surprise and something else Jihoon can’t really put his finger on. What he _does_ know for sure is that it’s making him feel terrible, forcing an apology out of his lips.

“I’m sorry.” He hangs his head low, a bow of shame. He immediately makes to complete the gesture but a hand on his shoulders stop him, pulling him to face back up.

“Hey—no, it’s okay,” Daniel says, this time with worry. “I was just asking, that’s all. It’s okay.”

Except Jihoon can tell that he wasn’t really _just_ asking. There’s something there, but he doesn’t press any further.

“He won’t tell anyone,” he says, nodding in earnest. “I trust Woojin. I know he won’t.”

The bus arrives then, parking in front of them and cutting their conversation by the sound of the front doors opening. Daniel just gives him a curt nod before gesturing for him to step in first, following right behind until they’re both seated near the back of the bus.

It’s mostly quiet, but the silence holds none of the comfort Jihoon’s been getting a lot of lately whenever he spends time with him. The erratic beating of his heart earlier that was responsible for the tingling warmth on his skin is now effectively replaced by a brooding sort of chill. Maybe it’s just him, or maybe it isn’t. But one thing’s for sure is that their conversation earlier somehow ruined the mood, enough that even Daniel isn’t doing anything to address it.

The bus ride feels awfully long, but they eventually alight to a mildly busy part of town that Jihoon’s never been to before. There aren’t a lot of people out and about at this hour in the afternoon but of the few that are, he and Daniel are the only ones in school uniforms.

“It’s over this way,” the older boy says, pointing a finger over to the next street. Jihoon just follows along, walking behind him with his hands holding on to his backpack straps. 

It’s a little stifling, and ultimately he decides to just talk it out with Daniel once they get to where they’re going and preferably sitting down in comfort. He’s the one who turned the air sour so it’s only right that he be the one to fix it. Maybe having a bowl of bingsu between them will help, and maybe then he can stop feeling like he just ruined what’s possibly their first date.

“We’re here.” Daniel turns and smiles back at him, opening the doors to go in. Jihoon hasn’t even stepped all the way inside when he slightly bumps into his back from where he’s stopped moving. 

“Daniel?” A familiar voice calls out from one of the few occupied tables, and Jihoon turns to see that it also belongs to a familiar face. Donghan and a few of Daniel’s friends are there, all staring at them as if they just grew a second pair of arms.

“Guys—what are you doing here?” Daniel takes the helm, and Jihoon can tell how tight and high his voice is turning. 

“Well, we were supposed to go to the skatepark but the place is closed for cleaning. Yeonjun here mentioned that he read about this place online so we decided to give it a try.” Donghan explains, proceeding to throw a frown when his eyes travel between him and Jihoon. “What are _you_ doing here? And why’s the weirdo with you?”

Any insult the people in school have thrown at Jihoon over the years have mostly lost their meaning and effect by now, so the remark doesn’t really faze him as much. What does shake him, however—and in a full on, core-shattering magnitude—is the look Daniel gives him when he turns and faces his direction again. It’s a face he’s seen countless of times in school but never once directed at him; a face that lets him know what the next thing he’s about to say is before he even opens his mouth.

“He isn’t. We were just walking in the same direction,” he says, right before he turns back around and walks over to his friends. “Hey did you guys order yet? Yeonjun move over.”

Jihoon just stands there then, blinking and trying his damned best to understand what exactly just happened. But he doesn’t really need to think too hard, too long because the epiphanic moment hits him with a heavy blow of clarity—so fast that it’s a wonder he even manages to keep still. 

“Hey Park! What’s the matter with you?” Donghan calls his attention, bringing all eyes back on him. “Did you and Woojin have a fight or something? You’re _more_ than welcome to join us if you want.” 

The obnoxious laughter and the snickering completely pass right through him in pretty much the same way as the words do. The degenerate gaze and scornful looks don’t do much for him either, not when his own eyes are merely locked with another person’s, one who ultimately refuses to even look at him back.

It would’ve been funny except it wasn’t, of how he’s on the receiving end of some cruel, vindictive joke that had been building up right from under his nose—leaving him waiting for a punchline that will never really come for him.

Jihoon finally manages to move his limbs and turn away seconds later, robotically exiting the bingsu shop and walking back to the bus stop he arrived from. The rush hour of a busy Friday thankfully hasn’t started yet, giving him time to bask in the silence of his solitude as he sits at the very back of the bus that’ll take him home. And maybe a few wet tears find their way to fall on his lap, but he pays them and the searing ache in his chest no mind.

  
  
  
  
  


***

  
  
  
  
  


“Hoon, you’re phone’s ringing.” Woojin calls him from the sofa, sounding mildly annoyed at what he assumes is him peeking at the screen. “It’s Daniel.”

The mention of the name sends a sharp bolt of sweltering numbness right through the center of his chest, causing him to miss the button flashing on the screen of his TV and getting his character to die in the game. He grips his game controllers a little too hard, taking a deep breath before he crawls to where his phone is currently buzzing before hitting the reject button.

He goes back to his game, ignores the look Woojin gives him and restarts the level he’s on. It’s not even five seconds later when it starts buzzing again.

“Hoon. Phone.”

This time he pauses the screen, crawling back over to the incessant device before holding the power button with a bit more force than necessary. He watches the phone brand’s logo flash out right before the screen dies to black, not wasting another second and going back to his game immediately right after.

The next distraction comes from his best friend this time, when he feels a hand landing over his right shoulder after Woojin's gone up and left the couch to sit beside him on the floor. Jihoon promptly ignores him still, eyes focusing on his screen.

"Hey. What's wrong?" Woojin asks, his voice a stark contrast from the annoyed grunts of seconds earlier. The display of concern rapidly causes a lump to form at the base of his throat, suddenly making it a little hard to breathe. He only shakes his head, and that's when Woojin reaches over his controller and pauses the game for him.

"You said you wouldn't keep things from me anymore, remember?" 

The sigh he lets out is bleak and heavy, the passage of breath rattling something in his chest he's trying so hard not to pay attention to. He owes it to Woojin though, and the thought of not being true to his word leaves an aftertaste so bitter in his mouth that he can't help but give an answer.

"You were right," Jihoon says, rugged and deep. He isn't looking at Woojin, but he can tell that he's probably nursing a frown right about now.

"Right about what?"

"About Daniel." He breathes the name out like an exhale, this time completely shaking up his core that he swears he can feel a prickle at the back of his eyes. He picks his game back up to get lost in a distraction, preparing himself for whatever explosion that would come out of his best friend.

To his surprise though, Woojin doesn't do any of the sort. He simply sighs, but the gesture is more felt at the warmth of his hand here it still rests on his shoulder.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" He asks, not out of curiosity or repulsion, but simply of concern. Jihoon just shakes his head, and he’s pretty sure now isn’t the first time but at the moment, he’s never been more thankful of Woojin being there for him; simply nodding without asking for more and shuffling back to the couch to let him be.

The constant immersion to videogames is as good a distraction as any, but Jihoon knows that he’ll soon have to bear the brunt of the situation once the weekend is over and he’s stepped back in school. In fact he almost fully expects it, when he opens his locker first thing come Monday morning and a folded piece of note comes fluttering down from the swing of the metal door. The sight of it still delivers a blow to his chest despite the anticipation but before he can do anything else, Woojin who’s been standing beside him the entire time is already bending down to grab the culprit, tearing the paper in his hands without so much as a glance or thought before chucking it into the nearest bin.

“Thanks,” Jihoon mutters weakly, grabbing his books for the day and walking beside his friend with his eyes on the floor.

In class he mostly just minds his own business and keeps his head down for much the entire time. It’s essentially the life he’s led through all the years in highschool, so being quiet and keeping to himself isn’t an entirely new concept for him to play into. What _is_ different, however, is the nagging feeling at the back of his neck that only serves to amplify the burning sensation in his chest. Because even without looking, he knows for a fact that a pair of eyes are constantly boring down on him from the back of the room.

And this entire routine pretty much persists through the following days. He’s already taped a piece of cardboard on the inside grills of his locker to prevent any more unwanted notes from coming in, and Woojin has more or less taken upon himself to assume the role of his bodyguard; keeping close to him at all times and throwing predatory looks at anyone who would so as much as think to cross their path.

All this does little to diminish the actual problem though, and try as he might, Woojin can only follow him around for so long until the time comes that he can’t. It’s in such circumstance that Jihoon finally gets pushed into a corner—when he unthinkingly asks to go to the bathroom in the middle of their history class without considering the implications of his actions first.

The boys' bathroom is empty and the only other human presence while he washes his hands on the sink is his own reflection in the mirror. The paranoia hasn’t let up one bit, and being in the same classroom for hours at a time has grown so stifling that the solitude provided by the empty cubicles and cool tiles serve as a much needed respite from it all.

Jihoon’s just about to dry his hands when he hears the door open and close behind him, and a glance up the mirror again soon has him staring face to face with the very reason why he even felt the need to come and take a breather in the first place.

There's that familiar burn in his chest again, the one that leaves him feeling debilitated and weak on the limbs. Daniel is just standing there, staring at him with worry and apprehension marking his features before he opens his mouth to speak.

"Jihoon...Can we talk—please?"

Hearing his own name has never felt more harrowing than that. Jihoon lets his hands fall to his side, never minding the way its wetness drips down the side of his pants uniform. A weak sigh escapes him, coming in sync with the shake of his head.

"There's nothing to talk about." His voice comes out surprisingly stable for someone who feels like his insides are on fire. He tries to head towards the door but Daniel blocks his way.

"I’m sorry. What happened that day—I didn’t mean it," he says, just a little frantic and desperate. The unsolicited reminder brings in a barrage of needles, adding to the burn. "Jihoon—please, just let me explain—"

"Explain what?"

Their eyes meet, and Jihoon watches Daniel's startled expression from his sudden outburst. All his pent up feelings are rushing up to his mouth, tumbling out of his tongue in waves of raw emotion.

"Is this about how you left and threw me aside like some piece of _garbage_ you didn't want to be seen with? Why you didn't want me telling anyone about anything? Or did you want to explain why you specifically said that you didn’t want us working on our project somewhere public right at the very beginning?"

Daniel’s moment of muteness doesn’t end, simply staring back with his mouth hanging open while Jihoon on the other hand is close to actually feeling like a burned down version of his body’s shell. He knows what the older boy’s silence means, just as much as he knows that he’s hit all the right points. Strangely—and rather pathetically, to say the least—some small part of him had been hoping that the conclusion he surmised for Daniel behaving the way he did wasn’t true. He really should’ve known better.

“Jihoon...I meant what I said. I wasn’t lying about being friends—”

"I didn’t say you were,” says flatly, and he briefly wonders how long he has before this pretense of strength finally wanes off. “I get it, Daniel. We can be friends...but only when no one's looking, right?"

Another silent affirmation, evident in Daniel’s contorted look of discomfort. Because that’s another thing Jihoon’s learned about him; as childish and obnoxious Daniel is when he’s domineering the school halls, his face always betrays him with the truth.

"Jihoon—"

"You don't have to keep saving face on my account. Don’t worry, I won't tell anyone else."

He’s finally let go at that point and Jihoon wastes no time in exiting the bathroom, leaving Daniel to dumbly stand rooted on the spot. And whatever adrenaline that’s powered him through the entire encounter finally leaves his body as he turns to the nearest stairwell and sinks until his butt touches the steps. He breathes out a few times, only getting up again once he’s absolutely sure that he won’t collapse on himself.

As courageous and seemingly mature he was for what he did though, he can’t ignore how the searing pain in his chest is still there, not even the slightest bit weaker.

  
  
  
  
  


“That bastard really can’t take a hint, can he?”

Jihoon breathes out a heavy sigh when he sees what Woojin is on about. It’s the last day of the week and they’re both just heading home to his place, only to stop short on the way to the bus stop when they spot the only other person sitting on one of its benches: Daniel’s there, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and eyes facing the ground.

“I’ll handle this,” Woojin says, snorting and shifting the weight of his backpack. He’s about to step forward until Jihoon puts a hand on his arm, pulling him back.

“It’s okay. I’ll talk to him.”

Woojin only gives him a concerned look, his brows meeting in the middle. “Are you sure?”

Jihoon’s knows that he isn’t, but he nods anyway. He can’t really have Woojin fighting all his battles for him, no matter how tempting it may be. “I’ll be fine. Just stay here for a bit.”

He can see the reluctance in Woojin’s face, but he gives him a nod anyway. Jihoon faces forward then, his heart rate spiking up immediately when he sees that Daniel’s noticed them by now and is looking in their direction. He tries to shake away the nerves, inhaling a steadying breath before he walks over.

Daniel gets up from his seat when he draws near, but Jihoon halts his steps prematurely and makes sure to put a good meter’s distance between them. The expression on the older boy’s face is the same as what he remembers seeing a few days ago in the bathroom, a painting of worry and apprehension. Jihoon clears his throat and swallows down the fist-sized lump, pushing himself to get this over with.

"I don't wanna work today. We're almost done with our report anyway so I'd rather we just finish our parts on our own and—"

"I know, I know." Daniel interrupts his rush, nodding along. “I’m not here for that. I wasn’t even planning on coming over since...I didn’t think you’d let me anyway.”

Somehow that rubs off on him the wrong way, not even hiding the small frown that comes out. “Why are you here then?”

His brows dip even lower when all Daniel does in response is to reach inside his pants pocket to pull out a folded piece of paper. He hands it over to him mutely, his long arms easily bridging the distance between them. 

“What’s that?” Jihoon asks, his voice cold and hard like steel. Woojin's right, he _is_ persistent.

“It’s an address.” Daniel nods to the paper, eyes quickly going back to focus on him. He purses his lips, taking a huge breath through his nose before he continues. “I screwed up. And I know you’re mad and I know that I don’t have any right to ask anything from you at this point—but…”

He pauses, taking in another breath. The vulnerability in his small eyes so strong and present that it completely overwhelms whatever annoyance Jihoon feels prior. 

“I wanna ask for another chance, Jihoon,” he finally says, his tone laced with the same honesty as when he first confessed to him. “I want to make things right, so if you can find it in you to give me that chance then...I’d like for you to go to this address tomorrow, at four PM.” Daniel gestures to the paper he’s holding again. This time he breaks their gaze, choosing instead to keep his eyes down. “I understand that after what I did, the last thing you’d probably want to do is go somewhere I’m asking you to. I swear I’m not pulling at anything here, but if you already have plans tomorrow, or if you really don’t want to go...then I’ll respect your decision. And I promise not to bother you anymore.”

It’s a simple request at the very core but for some odd reason, all Jihoon feels in that moment is a looming sense of dread. The choice is all his own now, and as easy it is to simply reject even what’s being handed to him now, he finds that he can’t do it. He looks at Daniel’s face again, searching for anything in his downcast expression that’ll make it easier for him to say no—only to be hit with the complete opposite when he sees the way he’s biting his lips and keeping his gaze low.

Jihoon sighs in defeat, slowly raising a hand and taking the slip of paper.

“This doesn’t mean I’ll come,” he says immediately right after, sounding a little more defensive than he intended. “I’ll think about it.”

He’s not sure if Daniel even heard him, because the smile he gets in return could easily imply otherwise. “Thank you,” he says, even bowing his head a little before he adjusts his backpack over his shoulder and gets ready to go. “I hope to see you tomorrow then.”

Jihoon’s about to tell him not to do any of the sort but Daniel’s already walked past him to head back his own way before he can even solidify the thought. Woojin’s beside him in the next second, asking what exactly just happened right as their bus drives over and opens up for them. Jihoon just sighs, taking the short few seconds for them to climb in and get seated to prepare himself for the inevitable earful he’s surely going to get from his best friend.

It wouldn’t be until much, _much_ later in life that Jihoon would come to realize how naive he’d been and just how much influence Daniel had on him even at that early point in time. But a seventeen year old’s innocence is hardly anything to hold himself over for and as it is, all he can really think about when the following day arrives and he gets to the address written on the note is whether he made the right decision to come or not.

He's at a fairly commercial part of town, and being the weekend makes sure that the rows upon rows of businesses around him are brimming with people. Restaurants and day bars, boutiques and mini marts; everything's alive and buzzing with the footsteps and chatter of teenagers like him, families out with their kids, and the occasional tourist.

He looks at the slip of paper in his hand again, frowning a little when he realizes that Daniel didn't exactly write down a specific place for him to go to. He _really_ doesn't want to be the one to text first, but seeing as he's standing in the middle of the busy walkway looking like some lost child, he isn’t really left with a lot of choices. 

He's just about to pull his phone out when he feels a soft tap behind his shoulder, and he turns only to come face to face with a familiar tight-lipped smile and a mirthful pair of eyes.

“You came,” Daniel says immediately, the happiness seeping off of him coming out in strong waves; so strong that all Jihoon can do is smile back and nod.

That’s when he notices what the older boy is wearing: a flat cap over his head with an ink-style illustration of a fish at the helm, matching that on the apron he’s wearing over his clothes where the same fish illustration is drawn over the front. 

“Ah, sorry. I, umm—still have twenty minutes left on my shift,” Daniel explains, and Jihoon feels his cheeks heating up for being caught staring. “Do you mind waiting for me until I finish? There’s a bench near our stall where you can sit if you want.”

He jerks his thumb over his back where Jihoon can see the bungeo-ppang kiosk he presumably walked over from. The shock of finally learning about Daniel’s job must really be doing a number on him, because he only ever realizes that he’s spaced out again when Daniel repeats himself..

“Umm, Jihoon?”

“Hm? Oh—yeah. Sorry.” He nods twice in a blunder, pinching himself on the back of the thigh to force himself to get a grip. “I’ll just sit down and wait for you then.”

Daniel mutters another quick apology before he rushes back to his post with the growing customer queue. Jihoon takes the time to settle on the empty bench across then, watching along with mute interest. It’s a good distraction from his own feelings of conflict for coming here; thinking about how he’s never really given that much thought to Daniel’s job before, since he kind of always assumed that he worked some kind of ordinary part-time service job. It shouldn't be that much of a surprise, but seeing him now in action throws off any sort of expectations and assumptions he might’ve had prior to coming here. 

He watches him talk to the customers; watches how his smile never comes down even once as he takes in their orders, scuttles around their medium-sized kiosk while filling and flipping the hot pans that make the iconic, fish-shaped bread. Jihoon can surmise as much that it's not an easy job, and he briefly wonders how long Daniel's been doing this and how he's even managed to balance going to school at the same time. His thoughts sidetrack to a halt, however, when Daniel catches his eye sometime along the hubble, turning his face hot as he drags his eyes someplace else.

The twenty minutes fly by rather quickly especially when Jihoon chooses to shift the distraction to playing games on his phone, and it practically takes no time at all before he feels another person coming to sit beside him on the bench. 

"Hey, sorry for making you wait." Daniel runs a hand through his hair, throwing him a sheepish smile. He’s ditched the apron and his hat in place of a faded black shirt and jeans. "I can usually clock out early, but Saturdays are always busy and I can't really leave until the crowd's calmed down."

"Oh, no it's fine." Jihoon shakes his head, stretching his lips tight. "You said to come at four. I was just early. It's okay."

“I still feel bad for making you wait though,” Daniel says, nodding shyly before he pulls out a small paper take-out bag to hand over to him. “I got you this. I, umm—made it special and put extra red bean inside.”

Jihoon stares back at the treat, the warmth of it caressing his fingers when he takes it in his hands. “Oh. You didn’t have to—”

“It’s fine. I wanted to.” Daniel beams, his hand running through his hair again. “I have an employee discount anyway. It’s no big deal,” he says, as if the statement somehow diminishes the good deed. Jihoon just mutters a small thanks, keeping the bungeo-ppang over his lap as an uncertain kind of silence settles between them.

He doesn’t really know what to do or say, and a part of him selfishly thinks that he shouldn’t really have to since Daniel’s the one who asked him to come here in the first place. As if reading his mind, Daniel scoots over a little closer to him on the bench, reaching a proximity that allows him to smell the familiar cologne he always wears on special occasions. 

“Thank you for coming today,” he starts, his voice barely audible in the white noise of the passersby chatter around them. “I honestly didn’t expect that you would, although I’d be lying if I said I didn’t hope for as much. So, umm—thanks.”

Jihoon knew he’d say something along those lines and in fact, he’s even prepared himself for it—playing the exact scenario in his head on the bus ride over so as to keep himself in check when it happens. He fails miserably though, and the sharp searing sensation inside his chest is nowhere near the same magnitude as it was in his imagination.

“There’s somewhere I wanna take you. Umm—if you want to, that is.” Daniel speaks over his silence, his tone just slightly apprehensive. “It’s not too far from here, and I promise it’s not going to be like last time.”

There’s a certain look in his eyes when he brings up the incident again; the same look Jihoon thought he saw back at the bus stop when he first asked him to come here, and the very reason why he’s even managed to convince himself to go in the first place.

"I wouldn't even be here right now if I thought you'd pull something like last time," he says with a nonchalant snort, getting up from the bench. "C'mon. Lead the way."

He doesn't have to say it twice, and it isn't long before they're strolling along the sidewalk as part of the weekend crowd. Jihoon munches on the bungeo-ppang Daniel got him (trying his best to maintain a straight face and keep himself from smiling like a fool because _damn_ is the bread good) and follows along wordlessly. 

It's not immediately apparent where they're going, and at first when Daniel makes a turn to where the sidewalk opens up to a more spacious area in between the rows of cafes and bars around the place, Jihoon thinks he's merely checking to see why there's a small crowd gathering at the moment. Jihoon immediately sees why though—or rather, he _hears_ why.

A hip hop track is currently playing on a speaker somewhere, and the _'oohs'_ and _'aahs'_ of some of the people who are all looking in the same direction don't really leave that much for him to guess that someone must be busking up a street performance. It isn't uncommon, especially in this part of town, but what he sees when they get a little closer still manages to take his breath away.

"Wow." He breathes out just as one of the dancers performing ahead of them makes an effortless backflip just as the other five dancers around him hype him up in time with the beat. Jihoon's seen this type of dancing on Youtube before.

"Do you wanna watch?" Daniel asks him through the music, and Jihoon isn't sure but he thinks this is probably where he intended to take him to, judging from the shy look he’s sporting. He nods regardless, biting another chunk out of his bungeo-ppang before following Daniel to where he leads them near the center of the commotion for a front row view.

His earlier doubts of whether they were meant to go here or not is immediately extinguished in the next second when one of the dancers spot them, throwing a smile in their direction and raising a hand in a wave.

"Niel! Over here!"

Jihoon looks up to him in surprise, catching him waving back before turning to face him shyly.

“Do you know them?” 

Daniel only nods, his lips pressed tight between his teeth as he shoulders off his backpack and starts handing it over to him. “Can you hold on to this for a while?” 

Feeling a little confused, Jihoon only does what he’s asked and takes the bag in his hands. He watches Daniel move from the crowd and towards the five boys performing in the middle where they exchange high fives and friendly smiles. He doesn’t really get what’s happening, and it’s only when the music changes from the hip hop song to an upbeat dance track that Jihoon is taken into a whole different ride.

Daniel starts shuffling his feet with increasing rhythm in time with the music, making his way over to the center of the crowd right before he does the same backflip the other dancers did earlier. To say that he’s surprised is an understatement, and Jihoon only has enough time to widen his eyes in response because just as Daniel lands on his feet, he shuffles to the side again and does a cartwheel and a frontflip towards the other end of the small circle they’ve formed. 

A few people in the crowd are cheering in applause along with the hyped hollers of the other dancers, but Daniel doesn’t stop there. The rhythm of the music picks up and he side steps back to the center where he assumes the position of another frontflip, only this time he stops and freezes midway—stopping on a handstand for a second right before he kicks and jerks his legs in the air for three consecutive beats. Their eyes meet when one of his hands leave the floor to make a pose and Jihoon doesn't know whether he’s more swept away by the dance move or the blinding smile Daniel has on the entire time. 

Just when he thinks he’s seen everything, the older boy goes on the floor again with his shoulders catching his weight. His legs split and spread out in the air and like a windmill, the starting point of his movement right before he starts spinning over himself on the ground in a fast and smooth rotation. Jihoon’s only vaguely aware that his own mouth is hanging limp that by the time Daniel’s finishing off his moves with another freeze, and it’s all he can do to keep his own face from tearing up into a huge grin.

The applause and cheers are much louder this time and Jihoon doesn’t hold himself back from joining along, all the while keeping his eyes on the person responsible for causing his mad heartbeat; the excitement and adrenaline in his chest is so rabid that he feels as if he's the one who was dancing just now. The music is lowered down to a more comfortable volume after a while, and some of the people have more or less dispersed from the area now that it looks like the dancers are done performing. 

Still, Jihoon stays rooted on his spot, watching as Daniel walks over to him with the largest grin he's ever seen on the older boy's face.

 _"Oppa!_ Can we have a picture with you?" A shrill voice calls, and no sooner do three girls standing over on one side rush over and crowd over him. There's a sourness that penetrates through Jihoon's gut then, surprising him as he watches the way Daniel smiles shyly and waves his hands in front of him while his ears visibly go pink.

Jihoon bites his lower lip, his smile suddenly going down a few notches. Before he can even identify the rotten feeling worming its way up his throat, however, it vanishes as quickly as it came when he sees Daniel bowing in apology to the three girls and coming back to rush over to him. 

"Hey." Daniel beams at him, just a little breathless and flushed. "Sorry, umm—I hope I didn’t bore you too much.”

Jihoon feels his eyes widening for the nth time that day as he lets out a bewildered scoff, still feeling a little high. “Bore me? Daniel, that was—you were so—”

“Yo! Niel!”

They both look back to where the other dancers are still gathered and waving them over. Jihoon suddenly feels a little out of place when he notices how they’re all looking at them, but it’s nowhere near the shyness he gets when he hears the next things out of Daniel’s mouth.

“Oh, hold that thought. I wanna introduce you to my friends first.” He takes his backpack from his hands and jerks his thumb over to the other guys, leaving Jihoon with no choice but to put on his best smile and simply nod and follow along.

“So, umm—Jihoon, these are my hyungs.” Daniel starts, pointing to each boy in the group and doing a roll call of their names. The boy who called them over—Ingyoo, Jihoon thinks he heard—is the only name he remembers because his heart is quite literally thudding in both his ears at the moment and it’s quite literally taking everything in him just to keep himself composed. 

“And guys, this is Park Jihoon. We’re in the same class in school.”

The mention of his name flickers a collective expression amongst all the other boys that Jihoon can only place as one of recognition; one that’s no different from the look Daniel’s mom had given him the first time she met him. They all give him a warm smile, throwing friendly waves of hi’s and hello’s.

“It’s nice to finally meet you Jihoon-ssi,” one of them says, coming forward and patting Daniel’s shoulder. “Niel here talks a lot about you and I gotta say, his description of ‘angel-face’ is really spot on.”

It’s nearly impossible to keep a straight face upon hearing that, but Jihoon thinks he’s on the safe side of things and doesn’t really get the full blow of embarrassment when it’s Daniel who suddenly turns as red as a tomato.

“Hyung!”

They all give him a hefty round of laughter, and it’s then that Jihoon notices how different the sound is from the usual kind he hears that accompanies Daniel on a daily basis. At school it’s all obnoxious and loud, more teasing than cheerful. The way these people laugh at him now sounds a lot more grown and whole—fond, even.

“It’s nice to meet you all,” Jihoon says with a low bow, saving Daniel from his own blushing demise. “I was watching you guys perform just now and you were all really amazing. I’ve never seen people dance like that in real life before.”

The flattery shifts and Jihoon earns himself a few impressed smiles. “That’s really nice of you Jihoon, thank you.” Ingyoo tells him, bowing back politely. “But Daniel’s the real star here. I swear we didn’t use to get that many girls watching us before he came along.”

The sourness in his gut rears its ugly head again at the thought of that, thinking back to the three girls who were asking for a picture with him earlier. But Jihoon just keeps his best face and rides along the light laughter.

“Okay, okay—that’s enough embarrassing-Daniel time.” Daniel cuts in, putting one hand over Jihoon’s shoulder as he prepares to scurry him away. “We gotta go hyung. I’ll see you guys tomorrow!”

“Alright, alright. Control yourselves kids. Try not to have _too_ much fun.”

Jihoon only manages to give a wave goodbye just as he’s pulled away, only vaguely hearing the teasing remark and the lighthearted snickering over their shoulders when Daniel’s face increasingly turns a whole new shade of red again as they walk away and back to the sidewalk. 

“Sorry about that,” Daniel says once they’ve turned a corner, scratching the back of his head. “I don’t talk about you _that_ much, just so you know. The hyungs just like to tease me.”

A chuckle escapes Jihoon’s chest at the sound of his defensiveness, an eyebrow raising in question. “So _angel-face_ didn’t come from you then?” He says with a light sneer, his breath forming into a full laugh when Daniel just bites into his lips.

They somehow find a quiet nook in the form of a small playground park a few streets away from the main thoroughfare of the weekend crowd. There’s only another man and his dog sitting on a bench across the lot from where he and Daniel are currently on, leaving the area with an air of quiet and peace that’s only disturbed by the rustling leaves from the trees overhead.

“Where did you learn how to dance like that?” Jihoon asks after they’ve settled down, his curiosity no longer restrained. Daniel just gives him a small shrug, his smile sheepish and light.

“The hyungs taught me. I almost always hang out with them after my shift ends at work and we just dance around for fun. Sometimes out in the street like earlier, but most times we go to this dance studio nearby.”

The nonchalant tone of his answer is about as natural as it can get, and It occurs to Jihoon then just how stumped he is in terms of expectations. This is a whole different side of Daniel he’s learning about, which only serves to drive his eagerness to know more.

“How long have you been dancing?” Jihoon asks next, his eyebrows perked up. “Considering what you did back there, it didn’t look like something you just learned on a whim after your work shifts.”

Daniel chuckles, nodding his head in agreement. “Well, I started working at the kiosk during the first year of high school, and that’s about around the same time I met the hyungs. So I guess I’ve been learning how to dance with them for about four years now, give or take.” He shrugs with his answer, as if his numbers weren’t all that impressive. “It’s not the first time I learned dancing though. I actually took ballet classes back in when we were middle school.”

“Ballet?” Jihoon repeats, this time both his eyebrows shooting up. “ _You_ took ballet?”

He gets another shy nod and a little chortle of air through the nose, both acts doing little to diminish the surprise. “You say that as if it’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever heard in your life.”

Jihoon clamps his lips shut then, a sliver of guilt forming in his gut. “Sorry. I didn’t mean—”

“It’s okay. I know what you meant.” Daniel waves him off good-naturedly. “I know what it looks like and yeah, I understand how crazy it sounds coming from me. But it’s true though, and believe it or not, I actually really liked doing ballet.” He nods to himself in fondness, eyes coming down to nowhere in particular. “I only took lessons for about a year though. Classes weren’t cheap so...yeah.”

Jihoon then thinks back to all the lessons and extra-curricular activities he’d undergone through the years that he never really picked up on. There were the piano lessons and taekwondo sessions his parents made him take, and then the acting workshop and voice lessons that he himself asked to be enrolled in. Not to mention the brief classes he took over the summer breaks in fencing, painting, soccer, and swimming—all of which he had taken for granted and never really paid that much attention to.

“You were really good back there,” he says then, feeling a little bad for ridiculing him earlier. “In fact, _good_ doesn’t even justify it. You were amazing.”

“Thanks. That means a lot.” Daniel continues to look down, but the pink tint creeping up the side of his neck tells Jihoon that it’s for a completely different reason this time. “I’m, uhh—glad you enjoyed it. But I know all of that hardly makes up for anything so...”

He sighs then, a small beat of a pause that’s promptly occupied by a passing breeze. When Daniel finally looks up to face him again, there’s a determination in his eyes that didn’t used to be there before; a mournful kind of look that could only be painted as remorse.

“I’m really sorry, Jihoon—for what happened. What I did to you that day—” Daniel hesitates, biting his lips but otherwise still keeping his gaze on him. “It was stupid and mean and I was a completely terrible person. I’m ashamed of myself, and what’s worse is that I don’t really have any excuses or things to say in my defense because...you were right—about everything.” 

Daniel eventually breaks eye contact, looking down to where his hands are softly forming a fist over at the hem of his shirt. “I just...don’t really know what else to do besides tell you how much I regret it all. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you...and I still did. I’m really sorry.”

The way his shoulders sink when he’s finished speaking reflects a lot of what Jihoon’s never really seen before coming here; the extent to which this issue has bothered Daniel in the same way that it’s bothered him. He doesn’t doubt the sincerity of his apology—he wouldn’t even be here if he thought he did—but it doesn’t really mitigate the root of things.

“It’s not so much an excuse I’m after than a reason, Daniel,” he says, keeping his voice even and as free of emotion as he possibly can. “Up until now I honestly just thought you were embarrassed to be seen with me. But then you introduced me to your friends earlier just fine so I really don’t know what to think anymore.”

Daniel doesn’t stop fiddling with his shirt, answering with a deflated chuckle. “It’s different with the hyungs. You know how Donghan and the other guys at school are like. ”

“You’re one to talk.” Jihoon scoffs, failing to hide the bitterness in his tone. “You say that as if you don’t do half the things that they get into themselves.”

It’s a little harsh, and the silence that Daniel responds with in the next few seconds is proof that he’s hit a chord. Jihoon knows it, but he doesn’t really do anything to take it back or soften the blow in the least either.

“Remember back in first grade? When I first transferred schools?” Daniel starts, his voice coming out in a low sigh. He waits until Jihoon gives him a nod before he clears his throat and goes on.

“That was the second time I had to take the first grade. I had to drop out from my last school ‘cause—well, let’s just say we weren’t exactly that well-off back then. I had to stop schooling for about three years while my mom worked so she can save up for me.” He snorts, clear from the way it sounds that the memory he’s talking about isn’t a happy one. “When the time came that she told me I could finally go to school again, I guess you can say I was a little more than excited for it.”

Jihoon tries to digest that, and although he isn’t too surprised about it, it’s still news to him. He had always assumed that the reason Daniel was a lot older was because he started school late or something. And while that part is essentially true, knowing the reason behind it takes him aback a little.

“I remember looking forward to my first day in school back then, and I even marked it on our calendar and ticked off every day that passed until the big day.” Daniel continues, smiling fondly at the memory for a second before the expression drops again. “So imagine how crushed I was to start life at a new school—something I’ve looked forward to for years—only for everyone to treat me like a complete outsider.”

That ultimately clutches at his attention. He faces Daniel, feeling a different kind of sourness in his gut when he sees that face he’s making.

“I was the weird older boy to everyone. No one wanted to be my friend back then and heck, no one even wanted to talk to me. I can even remember what some of the other kids used to say when they thought I couldn’t hear them.” He shakes his head, and although he’s smiling, Jihoon knows that it’s not one of mirth. “I had to pretend to my mom every single time I came home from school just how much fun I was having because I didn’t want her to feel bad. But deep down, I dreaded every single day having to wake up to get ready in the morning.”

Daniel lets out another snort, and Jihoon can feel the sourness in him take a turn for the worse. He remembers everything too, and even more so how much it bothered him back then as well. Jihoon only realizes how much he’d held onto the comfort that Daniel probably didn’t really care that much seeing as he was always smiling at the time and never really showed any signs of being unhappy. Finding out how that’s the exact opposite of how he felt is now putting pins to his chest.

“I know that it’s a long time ago, but guess I just never really wanted to feel that way again.” Daniel continues, interrupting his thoughts as his shoulders lift in a small shrug. “Donghan and the others—they’re my friends, but I know how’d they react if they found out about us. That’s why when we saw them last week...I panicked.” He lets out a hefty sigh along with his words, the same look of remorse showing itself once again. “It’s a shitty reason, I know. But it’s the truth...even if I wish it wasn’t.”

His shoulders sag and he faces away from him again, the lull allowing the quiet background noise around them take the stage in place of his silence. Jihoon just stares at him, and when it’s apparent that Daniel isn’t going to say anything further, he shifts his position so that he’s facing front as well.

“At least you’re owning up to your reasons,” he says, and he can feel Daniel’s eyes coming to stare at him from the side of his face. “What I don’t understand is why you feel like you have to hide from them. I mean, does that even really make them your friends?”

He thinks back to the scenario in his bedroom earlier this morning before finally deciding to come here, the scowls and chaotic opinions he’s had to put up with. “Woojin’s mad at me right now, you know. All because I told him where I was going today and—well, he wasn’t exactly too happy about it. ‘Said I was being stupid again for not learning my lesson.” He chuckles a little, remembering the face his best friend had made. “But I still told him about you asking for me here, even if I knew he’d get mad. Woojin’s my friend and I didn’t want to hide things from him anymore, and I know that at the end of the day he’d still respect my decisions even if he’s strongly opposed to them.”

He doesn’t mention the fact that he’s already planning to bribe Woojin with food in the coming days to appease him, but his sentiment doesn’t change nonetheless. 

“Not everyone is lucky to have a friend as understanding as Woojin,” Daniel says with a shrug, leaning back on the bench with a small sigh. It strikes at something, and Jihoon looks down at their feet on the ground and observes how Daniel’s legs are tucked underneath the bench and folded close to him; far from his own which are stretched across in front. 

“Then I guess you’re lucky you have me then,” Jihoon says, folding his own legs as he too leans back on the bench so that he’s in line with him. He turns his face a little to look at him, putting up a small, tight-lipped smile.”Woojin isn’t the only one who can be an understanding friend, you know.”

Daniel merely blinks at him, eyes turning wide ever so slightly. “Wait, so—you’re not mad anymore?”

His smile turns into a light laugh, shaking his head as the sound flutters out of his lips. “You’ve been nothing but patient with me this whole time—waiting for me to figure out my feelings and all,” he says with feigned casualness, feeling his neck warming at his own words. “So if you're not ready to tell anyone about—umm, _us_ yet—it's only fair that I learn to be patient with you too."

For all the crestfallen expressions and moments of sourness that have stretched in the time since they sat down on this very bench, Jihoon thinks that the road is all worth it when the smile that grows on Daniel’s face turns as bright as a thousand suns in the following moment; so warm that he can literally feel the heat coursing through his chest all the way to the tips of his fingers.

“Thank you,” Daniel says, his hand shyly coming up to scratch the back of his head. “So, umm—since the last time was a bust, is it okay to ask if you wanna try going out to eat again? There’s this really good chicken place nearby, and I remember you mentioned how much you love fried chicken so…” He bites his lips, hesitating. “I mean, I just figured since we’re already out here and all—but if you think it’s still too soon then I’d completely understand—”

“Okay.” Jihoon cuts off his rambling, nodding and holding back a small laugh when Daniel just blinks at him, looking lost and elated.

“Okay?”

“Yes, Daniel. I’d love to go eat chicken with you.” He enunciates each word in sarcastic clarity. He starts to get up from the bench but a hand on his arm stops him midway.

“Umm, before that—” Daniel bites his lips again, his other hand coming down to his jeans pocket to pull his phone out. “Can we take a picture here? I kinda just wanna remember this moment.”

As cheesy as it sounds, it also comes off as completely honest and innocent in true Daniel fashion that it leaves Jihoon feeling a little stumped. He only nods then, silently watches Daniel fiddle with his phone screen to open his camera app. When he sees it up and ready, he instinctively scoots closer to the older boy until they’re both inside the small frame of his device; only realizing how close he’s moved himself in his space when he feels Daniel tense a little and sees how his eyes widen a little on the screen’s reflection.

“Okay—smile on three,” he says, quickly recovering from his small blunder and smiling wide before he clicks the shutter; the first of many photos from that point forward, as Jihoon soon realizes the true extent of what Daniel really means by wanting to remember the moment. 

Still, he doesn’t think he minds it all that much when he proceeds to click away at his phone when they reach the chicken restaurant, order their food, and pretty much spend the entire afternoon together. Try as he may, it doesn’t really leave his mind for a single second how this is pretty much turning into a first date of sorts. And as unexpected as it all is though—considering the initial reasons he had for even meeting up with Daniel here today—he still allows himself to enjoy the company and the warmth that comes with it. 

Time flies, and the hours they spend later playing at the internet cafe and snacking on all the street food they pass by turn out to be the one of the best highlights of a day that Jihoon wishes didn’t have to end too soon. The sun eventually has to dip in the horizon, however, and he soon finds himself walking Daniel back to his apartment—a prize he chose to reward himself with after winning against him at a game of Battlegrounds earlier, much to the older boy’s dismay.

“I still can’t believe you’re the one walking me home,” Daniel says with a small pout as they turn the corner to his street, looking more and more like a sullen, overgrown puppy.

“Hey, you already had your chance last time remember? It’s my turn now.” Jihoon snickers, bumping a playful elbow to his side. “And besides, you don’t have to keep treating me like a princess. I’m not some kind of weak damsel here.”

“I didn’t say you were.” Daniel chuckles back at the sentiment, his hands coming to shove in his pockets. “I just wanted to be the one to do it since it’s our first date and all.”

The remark doesn’t fly past Jihoon even when he pretends that it does, keeping his face blank and straight as he feels Daniel eyeing him from the corner of his vision.

“Well, too bad Kang. Maybe you should’ve upped your game earlier before you lost our bet,” he says, tauntingly raising a smirk.

“That’s ‘cause I let you win.”

“You wish.” Jihoon scoffs a short laugh, bumping shoulders with him again. What he doesn’t expect in that moment is for Daniel to retaliate, which only spurs his inner competitiveness that has them chasing each other around and rough-housing the rest of the way. Strong as he may be, Daniel is still the bigger one between them which ultimately leads to him being snared by long arms and lifted a few centimeters off the ground.

“Alright, alright! I give!” Jihoon’s grin stretches wide in time with the squeak of a laugh bursting out of his chest. He wriggles free from the older boy’s hold, only ever realizing the position they were in as soon as it’s over.

“Umm—well, this is my stop.” Daniel clears his throat, evident from the way he presses his lips together that he’s thinking of the same thing too. “Do you, umm—wanna go up? I don’t have as many games as you, but I got some cool co-op ones on my Xbox we can play.”

His yes is already at the tip of his tongue, which only serves to make the consequent shake of the head that much harder to do.

“Maybe next time. I told my parents earlier that I’d be home before dark since I didn’t really know we’d be spending all day together,” he says, and even he can hear his own disappointment coloring his voice. Daniel just nods at him, smiling contentedly.

“Alright, next time then,” he says, although something in his voice kind of veers off from the hopefulness of the statement. “And thank you, for today. I had a really great time.”

Jihoon just nods as well, leaving it up to the gesture to convey how much he feels the same way. “I’ll see you at school.”

It’s more noticeable to him now, how Daniel’s smile falters a little at the corners for a split second right before he stretches one back up again. “Umm, I actually won’t be at school for a few days. I-uhh, gotta cover a few shifts at work so…” He trails off, and as much as Jihoon wants to ask why, he doesn’t feel like it’s in his place if Daniel’s not willingly giving him an explanation himself. 

“Oh, okay.” He tries not to sound any more disappointed than he already is and just smiles back, raising his hand in a small wave as he prepares to go.

“Oh, before you leave—there’s one more thing I wanna give you,” Daniel says, his flushed expression making a reappearance as he reaches his hand out to him. “Can I borrow your phone?”

Jihoon’s eyebrows raise in question, but he fishes out his phone from his pockets and hands it over to him regardless. He watches on as Daniel pulls his own phone out and taps along both their screens in a mildly excited rush, his lips coming in to press themselves between his teeth in that familiar shy habit of his. Jihoon only realizes how hard he’s staring in the short seconds before Daniel looks up at him again, leaving him with no time to school his face from the rush of heat surging up his cheeks when he gets his phone back.

“What’s this?” He asks in an instinctive rush to hide his fluster, eyes coming down to look at his screen. Daniel’s left it on the file folders of his device where it looks like he transferred something from his own phone.

“It’s a song.” He answers, just short of a little shyness. “A song with...words I wanna tell you.”

Jihoon blinks, looks at his screen again on the file he just received. _Wonderwall_ it says, spelled in English. He slowly nods as he puts it back in his pocket, offering up a tight-lipped smile in return.

“I’ll listen to it on the way home. Thanks.”

There’s a couple of awkward seconds after the words leave Jihoon’s mouth where he and Daniel simply stare at each other in blank silence—basking in the circumstance of having to part but not really wanting to and settling with whatever it is that’s charging up the air around them. The walls between them are paper-thin now, but otherwise still holding up and keeping in words neither of them are ready to say out loud yet; feelings they can’t find a label to and actions neither of them know how to make.

Jihoon’s the first to break the trance albeit with extreme reluctance, offering a final nod before turning around—or at least he attempts to until Daniel suddenly enters his space and wraps his arms around him.

It only lasts for two—three—seconds at most, not even enough time for him to react with anything. Like the quick burst of heat you feel in your gut on the first sip of a warm drink on a cold day, the hug Daniel gives him ends far too soon for his liking and only leaves him wanting more. 

“Take care,” Daniel says and this time when Jihoon nods and smiles again, he succeeds and manages to turn around and walk back to the main road’s bus stop.

He only notices the small, foolish smile painting his face when he finally gets a seat on the bus and sees the vague reflection staring back at him from the window. He bites his lips in an attempt to control the butterflies fluttering in his stomach, right as he takes his phone out and pilfers through his bag for his earphones.

The smile breaks out wider, however, the moment he turns his phone back on and sees the image that greets him on his lockscreen. The cartoon-style drawing of a fried chicken leg he got off from the internet that he’s so used to seeing whenever he looks at his phone is now replaced by two smiling faces promptly staring back at him.

It’s the selfie he and Daniel took at the park earlier, an image which only turns the fire he feels coursing through his chest all the more warmer.

He eventually gets to the song file Daniel passed him after a while, leaning back in his seat and relaxing just as the soft and strong strums of an acoustic guitar start to play in his ears. He more or less guessed that the song would be in English judging from the title, but what he doesn’t expect from the moment the lyrics start pouring in is for him to recognize the voice singing them.

And suddenly he can’t hold back the smile anymore, nor does he even care at that point because he’s pretty sure it’s a fool’s errand to stave him off his feelings any further. He chuckles to himself and shakes his head a little, looking at his new wallpaper again right before he settles with leaning his head on the glass of the bus window; watching the orange-painted scenery pass by him as he listens to Daniel’s rough and breathy voice singing him words he only wishes he can understand the meaning to.

  
  
  
  
  


***

  
  
  
  
  


“Am I forgiven now?” Jihoon bats his eyes coyly, even pouting a little for effect as he looks at his best friend from behind the huge tub of ice cream sitting in front of him. 

“You do realize we only have an hour-long lunch break, right?” Woojin deadpans, keeping his arms crossed from the opposite side of their cafeteria table. “And I don’t have a fridge in my locker in case you forgot. How do you expect me to finish all this?”

“We can share.” He raises two spoons, smiling wide in the next beat when all Woojin does is sigh and take one from his hand.

“I told you I’m not even mad anymore. It’s been three days, Hoon. You can stop buying me food.”

“Well maybe if you stopped scowling at me all the time, I’d actually believe you.” Jihoon pouts, taking the lid off the ice cream tub with a pop.

“I’m _always_ scowling. What are you talking about.” Woojin lets out a chuckle and finally a smile, shaking his head before digging his spoon into the dessert and extending it over to him. “Here, first bite is for the one who bought it.”

Jihoon’s pout curves up into a similar expression then, feeling triumphant as he leans forward to take the spoon in his mouth. He relishes in the cold sweetness, but he hasn’t even fully swallowed the chocolate ice cream yet when he hears a couple of not-so-subtle snickering coming down from the side of them.

“Well aren’t you two just the sweetest little lovebirds." Donghan’s annoyingly familiar drawl breaks in on them, followed by the jeers of his friends and from some of the neighboring tables. Jihoon’s smile falls in an instant—Daniel still hasn’t shown up for school since the week started so there’s little he can do other than regress back to his usual indifference, shifting his focus instead in regarding how his best friend is taking it.

“Are you jealous Donghan? Come here so I can feed you like the big baby that you are.” 

There comes a much louder round of giggling from the other tables as Woojin extends a spoonful of ice cream in their direction with a teasing smile. Jihoon laughs along, and while he isn’t really one for engaging and biting back on childish antics, there’s still a certain satisfaction one can only get from seeing a bully stomped at his own game. 

They focus back on their dessert, but just as Woojin digs another scoop and takes the spoon to his mouth, his face is unceremoniously shoved forward from behind—resulting in a brown, chocolatey mess to splatter down his chin and the front of his white uniform top.

“Oops, sorry Woojin. Looks like you got a little something there.” Donghan taunts him from where he’s standing now after passing over their table, gesturing to the mess he just caused. There’s another round of laughter echoing on all sides but before Jihoon can even think of holding him back, Woojin’s already up the table in fumes.

“What the _fuck_ is your problem Donghan?!”

“Oh, nothing.” Donghan sneers, turning more annoying by the second. “Just showing everyone who the real _big baby_ is in the room. Does little Woojin need a—”

He’s cut off when he’s roughly pulled and handled by his shirt collar, drawn close inches to Woojin’s face. Jihoon’s up from his seat and beside him in an instant, a hand coming up to firmly grasp at his best friend’s wrist in case he even thinks of doing what he’s about to do.

“Woojin—”

“Stay out of this Jihoon.” He snarls, and he can even feel the tremors of it vibrating through his hold. “It’s about time someone taught this motherfucker a lesson.”

Donghan scoffs at him. Even despite the tightening of Woojin’s fists over his shirt, he’s still putting up that stupid smile. “What are you gonna do then, huh? I dare you—”

“Oh shut up will you?!” This time it’s Jihoon who turns on him, silencing the older boy with a look before he softens back in facing his friend. “Woojin just let it go. He’s not worth it.”

“Yeah Woojin, why don’t you go and listen to your boyfriend—”

Woojin shoves him even closer then, challenging with his scowl barely giving way. It’s a long couple of seconds, drawn even longer by the hush and anxious eyes of the entire room over the three of them. Jihoon just ignores it all, never taking his eyes off his best friend and pleading silently for him to come to his senses.

“You know what? Screw you.” Woojin finally growls, and the breath of relief that escapes Jihoon’s lungs when he feels his grip on Donghan slacking couldn’t have come out heavier than it did. “Why would I even waste my energy on an ass like you? Jihoon’s right, you’re not worth it.”

Woojin lets go then, shoving Donghan back a couple of paces just as Jihoon lets go himself. To say that he’s proud of his best friend is an understatement, and he barely holds back the small smile he feels coming up his face as they both turn and head back to their table.

It all happens so fast from that point forward, when Jihoon sees from the corner of his eye Donghan raising a fist behind them to throw at Woojin’s turned back. He acts on instinct, side-stepping and pushing his friend out of the way while taking the brunt in the process. There’s a collective gasp that’s easily drowned out by the dull throb and the sharp sting resonating from the side of his face, and for a second all he sees is black with speckles of white floating on the edges of his vision every time he blinks.

He vaguely registers Woojin holding both his shoulders for a short moment before it disappears as fast as he felt them, and another choir of gasped breath follows the eerie hush in the room just in time for him to hear a muted thud and a cafeteria chair clattering to the floor.

By the time Jihoon’s senses have realigned enough for him to make sense of what’s happening, Woojin and Donghan are scruffing it up and throwing fists just a foot away from where he’s currently laid out on the floor. He doesn’t even know how he got down there in the first place, and any attempt to pick himself back up is making his head throb and the room spin. Another collective gasp—louder this time—and he sees a pair of long legs jumping past him and coming to stand in between the two boys who look intent on doing as much damage to the other as possible.

Jihoon looks up and squints against the bright lights, sees the silhouette of a broad-shouldered back but before he can even form the name of the person in his head, someone else is already yelling it from a distance.

“What in the world is going on here?!” A booming voice echoes from somewhere Jihoon can’t see, a voice that doesn’t sound like it’s coming from a student. “Kang Daniel, you let go of those two this instant! And to my office, the three of you—now!”

Jihoon’s confused—he can barely keep up with what’s happening, much less understand whoever the teacher is actively yelling at. He hears another command from the same booming voice, something about taking mister Park to the clinic before he feels a few set of hands finally helping him up off the floor.

And it’s as he’s being careened in the opposite direction from where he sees Woojin, Donghan—and now Daniel—are headed does he realize that he isn’t part of the call to whichever office they’re being told to go to. He asks one of the boys beside him what just happened, but all he gets is a shake of the head and a concerned look before he's told that they should get to the clinic first. Left with no other choice, Jihoon simply nods and follows along, but not before he turns to look back again to catch his first and last proper glimpse of Daniel right before they exit the cafeteria.

  
  
  
  
  


He eventually gets his questions answered, but not in any way that he would like to hear. When Woojin fills him in later after the last bell rings on their last class for the day, the jittery nerves Jihoon’s been feeling in his gut from the moment he’s been released from the clinic earlier only intensifies to it’s full magnitude. Hearing the words from his best friend’s mouth how Daniel took the blame for everything that happened earlier is turning his stomach into a hot, roiling pit of fire.

“Why didn’t you say anything then?” Jihoon had turned to Woojin back at their lockers as he retold what happened at the faculty office, his temper rising higher when all he gets in response is tight-lipped silence.

“You _knew_ he didn’t do anything. You and Donghan were the ones acting like _barbarians_ and you still let Daniel take the fall?”

Woojin shook his head then, guilt clearly marring his features. “I didn’t know what to say, Hoon. He just started admitting that he threw the first punch and—”

“You could’ve told the truth,” Jihoon had said, at which point he had slammed his locker shut and promptly turned around, uninterested in whatever Woojin had else to say in his defense.

It’s completely stifling. He’s disappointed at his best friend, irritated at Donghan, and restless because Daniel isn’t responding to his messages nor returning his calls. It’s even worse when he doesn’t show up at school the next day either, and Jihoon’s unease is only further heightened to a level where he can’t even get any of the words their teachers are saying in class to stay in his head for longer than five seconds.

This extreme lack of focus and the growing anxiety bubbling out from his chest is what ultimately pushes him to do what’s probably the most rebellious thing he’s ever done in his life—deciding on a determined whim that the consequences of getting caught skipping classes and leaving school in the middle of the day is a small price to pay for his peace of mind.

Or so that’s what he reasons with himself to justify why he’s now currently standing at the front door of Daniel’s apartment, rocking on the balls of his feet while he runs over his head the excuse he formulated for when Daniel’s mom inevitably asks him what he’s doing here at this hour on a school day.

The locks on the door click off on the other side right before it swings open, and Jihoon doesn’t know whether the relief he feels is due to the fact that Daniel’s the one who answered the door, or simply because of seeing him.

“Jihoon?” The surprise doesn’t come short, not in his tone nor the way his eyebrows raise along with it. “What are you doing here?”

For all the script-running and excuse devices he’s prepared on the way here, it’s ironic how he fails to provide a less than pathetic answer to the simplest one he can get.

“I came to see you.” He goes for honest, even if it makes his stomach lurch at a cringe. “Can I come in?”

There’s a few seconds where all Daniel does is blink at him, before he seems to come back to his senses and stands aside. The apartment is empty of other people as far as Jihoon can tell, a deduction that’s not all that hard to make considering the size of the place. It’s already his second time here and he’s still a little blown over with this fact.

“Not that I’m complaining about you being here or anything, but—” Daniel breaks his thoughts, drawing his attention back to him. “—shouldn’t you be at school right now?”

Jihoon pulls his lips taut into a sheepish smile, shrugging. “I could ask you the same thing,” he says casually, and no sooner do the words leave his mouth does he regret saying them when the face Daniel makes isn’t one of amusement.

“That’s ‘cause I’m suspended,” he says, straight and factual with no room for humor. “Technically I’m not allowed anywhere near school grounds for the next seven days. What’s your excuse?”

Jihoon is stumped. Woojin never mentioned anything about Daniel being suspended and finding out about it now like this is just making his already rotten feelings fester even more. He bites his lips, choosing to simply go with honesty again.

“I was worried about you. You weren’t answering my calls.”

“So you’re skipping class and risking getting into trouble just for that?” His tone is cold, easily matching the frown he has on. Jihoon tries his best not to let it faze him, standing his ground.

“You would’ve done the same thing if it were me. It shouldn’t be any different.”

That at least gets Daniel's expression to soften a little, sighing when he hangs his head down and scratches the back of his neck.

“My mom grounded me and confiscated my phone. I’m sorry I couldn’t reach you,” he says to the ground, his bemused face bringing back the same air of apprehension Jihoon had been feeling all week. The reminder of why he’s in this position in the first place coupled with the knowledge of just how grave he’s being punished is what ultimately pushes him over.

“Woojin told me what happened,” Jihoon finally says, leaping out of pretenses and pleasantries and finally speaking out the thorn stuck in his chest. “You didn’t have to do what you did, Daniel. You never hurt anyone and if anything, you were trying to put a stop to it. It was all Donghan’s fault and you didn’t have to cover up for him, nor Woojin. You shouldn’t be the one getting punished like this.”

Saying it out loud is a little cathartic in a sense, but it’s not exactly everything that Jihoon had hoped for. Of all the reactions he expected to get out of the other boy, a chuckle isn’t one of them. 

“Have you seen Woojin and Donghan’s faces?” Daniel says, all light and cheery as he breathes out a soft laugh. “That’s already a pretty bad punishment in itself if you ask me. I think that’s enough for them to learn their lesson after that little monkey brawl.” He laughs again, shaking his head in amusement. Jihoon can only assume he’s talking about the bruises their friends are sporting that don’t look like they’re going away any time soon, which doesn’t really constitute the reaction he’s getting.

“It’s not funny.” 

Daniel at least has the sense to quit laughing, sinking back into mild seriousness. “It’s fine, Jihoon. I don’t mind taking the fall. And it’s done anyway—nothing else we can do.”

As much as he doesn’t want to feel it, Daniel’s words rub off the wrong way and it only worsens the heat that’s building up in him. He’d been so worried and anxious for the past two days but here’s Daniel treating the situation like a game.

“You’re forgetting that I was the one who Donghan hit first,” he says through gritted teeth, his tone barely containing his dissent. “I was there, and so were a lot of other students. We all saw what really happened and it’s mine and everyone else’s words against yours.”

He doesn’t mean it to sound so threatening, but the way Daniel’s face expels any remnant of lightness as it falls in complete seriousness now shows otherwise.

“It’ll go on their record Jihoon,” he says, lips taut with no hint of a smile. “Donghan’s already vying for a university scholarship, and I’m sure you know just how much it’s going to affect Woojin’s chances of getting into one as well. They shouldn’t have to get suspended at this point in the school year, so it’s better if it was me.”

“But why?” Jihoon asks, not even minding anymore how petulant he sounds. “You’re as much a graduating senior just like the rest of us. How is you taking all the blame any better?”

“Because it doesn’t matter if I get suspended,” Daniel says, his tone hard and thick with something Jihoon can’t discern. “I told you, it’s fine—”

“It isn’t!” His voice finally cracks, rising a few levels as his hands involuntarily turn to fists. “You keep saying that but it’s not. What—do you think it’s _cool_ that you’re doing this? That it makes you a hero or something? You’re being completely unfair to yourself and I don’t understand—”

“I’m moving, Jihoon.” 

Daniel’s words comes out low and heavy but it’s enough to cut Jihoon short, making him pause and halting him in his tirade which effectively kills whatever else he had left to say on the issue. Any remaining air of defiance in his lungs is snuffed out and in the span of a second, his anger simmers and evaporates into a mist of confusion.

“What?” Is all that manages to come out of him, his mouth hanging limp and open. “What do you mean...moving?”

“It means exactly what you think it means.” Daniel sighs, breaking eye contact as he paces out of his line of sight to flop down into their small couch. Jihoon remains frozen in his spot, merely turning his head to catch him running a frustrated hand through his hair as he leans forward with his elbows on his knees. “I’m moving away to go to live with my aunt for a while.”

There’s an underlying tone to that, a weight that doesn’t exactly match the implication of his words as opposed to the way he’s acting as he says it. There’s a sense of inevitability looming in the air, one Jihoon is almost too afraid to address.

“And where does your aunt live?”

Daniel doesn’t look at him, his head still tilted down and eyes remaining trained over a spot on the floor. When he answers his voice is quiet but even despite it’s hushed volume, it still shatters and breaks like ice.

“Canada.”

A pause stretches then, blanketing the small apartment in a silence that’s both deafening and harrowingly empty to the core. Jihoon feels as if his chest is suddenly subjected to a different level of gravity apart from the rest of his body, where an increasingly strong pull is tugging at him from the center that threatens to unravel his entire being with every second that passes. It’s all he can do to keep breathing at this point, while his mind races to make some sense of what he’d just heard.

“But what about school?” He finds himself asking, immediately regretting it when he sees the defeated expression crossing Daniel’s face.

“School is exactly the reason why I’m moving,” he says, coupled with a humorless chuckle that just sends a freshly sharpened needle to Jihoon’s core. “We can’t really afford it anymore, so I’m dropping out.”

It just gets worse, and Jihoon is now certain that the sudden weight he feels plummeting down to the pit of his stomach is his heart finally succumbing to the pull. Now it’s starting to make a little sense—why Daniel did what he did for Donghan and Woojin.

“But why now?” He still asks in mild desperation, only vaguely aware of his own denial. “Why are you dropping out all of a sudden when there are only a couple of months left in the school year? Have you tried talking with the school’s admin? I’m sure that if you explain your situation, they’d let you finish the year and—”

“It’s not that simple.” Daniel sighs again, biting his lower lip in a show that the thought isn’t a foreign concept to him. “We’ve been in debt to the school for over a year now Jihoon, and we’re barely even scratching the amount we have to pay for this term alone. Even if they let me finish through the year—which I know they probably will—I still won’t be able to graduate if I don’t settle my tuition.”

“But—” Jihoon tries, but the slow crawl of his own realization doesn’t let the rest of his words reach his mouth. The look on Daniel’s face shows him that what he’s telling him right now isn’t simply a problem that’s come out of the blue, but something he’s been silently carrying on his back for a while now. Jihoon’s just grasping at non-existent straws at this point, and whatever he could probably think to say at this moment wouldn’t be something Daniel’s hasn’t already thought of or gone over with himself.

“My mom and I already talked it over...and we agreed that this is the best thing to do for now.” Daniel continues, nodding to the ground as if he’s reaffirming the facts more for himself than for Jihoon. “There are a lot more job opportunities in Canada for people like me, and it’ll pay a lot better than whatever I can hope to make here. My mom’s sister lives there with her family, and she’s already agreed to take me in for the time being.”

It’s all pretty straightforward and simple, but Jihoon finds that he simply can’t get his head to wrap around on any of what Daniel is saying. He doesn’t _want_ to, and the worst thing about it all is that there doesn’t seem to be anything he can do to change it otherwise. This is all happening, whether he likes it or not.

“When are you leaving?” It’s the only question he can raise at this point, albeit it being one he isn’t sure he wants to know the answer to. Daniel looks to be thinking along the same lines as he is in that regard, if the way he bites his lips and how he still refuses to look at him is anything to go by.

“Next week,” he says, throwing another blow to Jihoon’s already battered heart. It spews off a jumble of different emotions out of him, none of which being anything pleasant.

“And were you ever going to tell me? Or were you planning to just disappear and leave me hanging again.”

Daniel finally looks up at that, his eyes glistening with a look of pure hurt and regret.

“I would never—” He chokes up a little, and he clears his throat for a second before trying again. “I didn’t know how to tell you. I—”

“So you chose not to tell me at all instead.” Jihoon snaps back in a spasm of pained anger and betrayal. He knows it’s unfounded and ill-formed, but he can’t help feel a little scorned that he’s only finding out about this now.

“I’m sorry,” Daniel says, hanging his head low again and looking back down at his folded hands as he breathes out a heavy sigh. “This isn’t how I wanted you to find out. I didn’t mean to keep it from you, but I was still thinking of how to say things and…”

He trails off, and it’s really all that it takes to shift Jihoon’s turmoil of emotions again away from the seething flames. Because not only does he realize that anger is just wasting the limited time they have left, but just looking at the image of Daniel’s weary disposition from keeping this burden all to himself is what ultimately sets his priorities in order. It’s clear enough that he doesn’t like any of what’s happening any more than he does.

Jihoon finally moves for the first time since entering the apartment and takes the seat beside him, only feeling the respite his legs have been screaming for when he sighs and sinks down on the worn out cushions of the small couch. They both sit in silence for a while, staring at nothing in particular as they wallow in their own tired sense of temporary peace. The only sounds reaching Jihoon’s ears are the muffled background noises coming from outside the apartment, playing an unsynchronized symphony with the heavy beating of his own chest. 

The adrenaline is wearing off—if you could even call the storm of wild emotions he’d been feeling that—only to be replaced by a rawness that’s sourly eating away at his insides.

“So what’s going to happen to our book report then?” He blurts out, picking at the most random thought floating in his head to combat the festering unease of doing and saying nothing. He feels rather than hears Daniel let out a sigh of a chuckle, right before he gets up from the couch.

“Follow me.” He walks down the hall without another word, the trek too short for his long legs and too huge for the tiny apartment that it’s not all that difficult for Jihoon to see where he’s heading. He belatedly follows him into his room, and immediately the first thing he happens to see is a suitcase sitting by the corner beside his desk. He ignores the sharp pang it delivers to his chest and instead, focuses on the other elements that welcome his senses. 

The air is cooler here than it was in the living room, with the only light coming from the small window casting an almost cozy ambience to the otherwise tight space. It smells slightly of cigarettes, subtle enough that it’s apparent the act wasn’t done here per se, but simply because the smell has clung to Daniel himself and in turn his small room.

Jihoon takes a seat on the corner edge of the bed, being that there isn’t really anywhere for him to situate himself on seeing as Daniel has taken his desk stool while he rummages through his backpack. He pulls out what he’s searching for in the next second, handing it over to Jihoon as he faces back to him.

"I already finished the report. All you have to do is type it out and fill in the cues I left so you can place in your own input," he says, nodding to the familiar blue notebook. "It's all in here."

Jihoon only stares at it, hesitating when he says, “I thought you didn’t want me looking at this.”

Daniel clearly remembers what he’s referring to by the small smile he makes—that day when Jihoon returned the same notebook to him and the first time he stepped in this very room feel like ages ago.

“That was before,” Daniel says now, letting his notebook go and placing it directly over Jihoon’s lap. “I want you to have it now.”

Instead of feeling gratified by this apparent display of trust, it just wrenches and coils at Jihoon’s veins when he thinks about the note of finality the gesture exudes. Still, he does his best to swallow the feeling down and picks up the spiral pad in his hands. He only means to flip through the pages to check on their book report, but what greets him on the page he haphazardly opens to does not in the least have him prepared in any way.

There are drawings everywhere. Doodles and pencil sketches; scribbles laid out across the spread in an unorganized fashion. It’s not so much the presence of these drawings than the illustrations themselves that knocks Jihoon off kilter, because it quickly becomes evident what—or rather, _who—_ Daniel’s main muse is.

Outweighing the cat doodles and scattered out notes on in and around the page is Jihoon, in every plain scenario he can ever hope to think of. There he is sitting on his desk in their classroom, giving a glimpse of what he looks like from the vantage point of Daniel’s seat from the very back row of the room. There’s one of him in the cafeteria, smiling wide to a shadowed blob across the table he’s on which could only be Woojin. On one corner of the page is him standing in front of his locker, and directly beside this is an image of him tying his shoes while wearing their P.E. uniform. The grooves of pencil lines bleeding from the back of the paper makes him flip to the next page, and he swears his breath completely stops when he sees more of himself littered across this spread too.

“Do you find it weird?” 

Jihoon looks up at Daniel at the question from where he’s been watching him this whole time. His eyes are hesitant and anxious, and it’s suddenly clear to him why he didn’t want him looking into his notebook before. If Jihoon had found out about this much sooner, he doesn’t think he’ll have the same answer as the one he lets out right now.

“No.” He shakes his head, eyes going back down to admire the drawings. “I just...don’t know what to say. These are beautiful.”

“That’s ‘cause I have a beautiful subject,” Daniel says without missing a beat. It’s the first time he’s ever spoken so brazenly about him, rendering him even more speechless than he already is.

The effect of his words are nowhere near what he feels next after flipping through a couple more pages of the notebook, however, because the page Jihoon finds himself stopping on now completely reduces his cognitive ability only to what he’s seeing in front of him.

It’s Daniel’s handwriting—a messy, bulleted list going down the lines of the page under a headline that says _‘Become Jihoon’s boyfriend’_. A memory is jostled in his brain and he vaguely remembers him saying that he’d written down his plans of confessing to him during the night it happened, but never in Jihoon’s wildest dreams did he ever think it meant like this. He reads through the bullet points with an increasingly frantic heart and a smile he isn’t even aware of coming up on his face.

_Partner with Jihoon for the final English project._

_Go to his house, impress his parents (bring chocolates?)_

_Ask him out for bingsu, or maybe chicken._

_Invite him over (get mom to cook chicken ramen. CLEAN ROOM)_

_Walk him home. Play him some music._

_Buy him flowers (need $$$)_

_Take Jihoon to the plaza. After work?_

_Confess ~~(kiss him?)~~ (just hug) _

His neck feels hot and the tips of his ears are burning, and he swears his heart is drumming so loud that the neighbors can probably hear it thudding across the walls. He slowly looks up at Daniel then, finding that he looks to be in a very similar state as him, if not worse. 

“How long have you had feelings for me?” Jihoon asks without thinking, and only does he realize how much he’s wanted to let that out after saying the words aloud. Daniel just gives him a sheepish little smile, shrugging.

“A while.” He looks down in a futile attempt to hide his ever-present blush. “Around middle school probably. Although—well, I can’t really say it started all the way back to this but to be honest, first grade is really the earliest memory I have of me even considering the idea of liking you.” Daniel faces him again, and the honesty that bleeds out of his expression is staggering. 

“That day we first talked to each other, when you agreed to let me sit with you during recess—it probably doesn’t mean all that much to you but it was a huge thing for me, Jihoon,” he continues, holding his gaze as strongly as his words are doing. “And I don’t know if it really constituted to me having feelings for you, but what I do know is that you were the reason I didn’t feel like I was living through hell all the time back then. Even when we drifted apart afterwards, I never really stopped thinking about you. It was only this year though that I finally decided to act on my feelings, since I thought I only had this one chance left before we graduated and…”

Daniel trails off, the eerie reminder of the situation he’s in and why they’re even openly talking about this now is coming back up to surface. “Well...I guess I just didn’t want to go off and say that I didn’t try,” he says, his tone both resolute and resigned at the same time. And suddenly Jihoon feels a little sick in the stomach, the unease settling and coating his insides with muk and causing all the butterflies that have been fluttering with warmth and excitement up until now to die off in a single wave of guilt and regret.

“I never knew,” He says, his voice a heavy whisper. “All this time...you felt that way but all I've done is make you wait while I figured my feelings out. Daniel, I—”

“Hey.” A hand lands on his shoulder. Sudden, but warm and comforting in a way that only Daniel can exude. “Jihoon, the last thing I want is for you to feel burdened by how I feel about you. I told you I didn’t want you stressing out over this, remember? This is all on me, and you knowing all this shouldn’t change anything—”

“But you’re leaving.” Jihoon breaks at the statement, putting out the fact like freshly molded iron burning to the touch. The hand on his shoulder doesn’t waver however, and in fact, it even manages to impart him with a small squeeze.

“Then all the more reason for you not to stress about it, don’t you think?” Daniel lets out a stifled chuckle, the sound sending a prickled sear straight to Jihoon’s chest. “You don’t have to worry about figuring out your feelings anymore. It’s fine.”

“But that’s exactly the problem. I already figured them out.” Jihoon swallows hard, riding along the heavy and rapid beating of his heart in the next breath; of the words that have been slowly building up in him over the past month, of the growing emotions he can’t leash to control anymore. 

“I like you too, Daniel.”

The air around them comes to a sudden standstill, not too far from the likes of how it felt like earlier when Daniel dropped the bomb on him. Jihoon is only mildly aware that he’s holding his own breath, eyes searching for any sign of _something_ on the older boy’s starkly blank face. No one moves or makes even the slightest sound—and Jihoon swears his heart almost jumps out all the way up his throat to his mouth when Daniel finally reacts and pulls his hand away.

“You don’t have to patronize me Jihoon,” he says, his face still devoid of expression. Jihoon only blinks, and it takes a while before he realizes what Daniel means.

“You don’t believe me,” he says as a statement, not a question. He’d probably laugh if the situation was different, because here he is finally letting his heart speak and yet the person who should want to hear them the most doesn’t think he’s telling the truth.

“I’d rather get rejected than have you force yourself to feel something you don’t.” Daniel shakes his head, even frowning a little as he continues. “Just because you know I’m leaving, doesn’t mean—”

It’s unquestionably brash and impulsive on his part, when the method he chooses to shut Daniel up from his sinking doubt is to surge forward and put his lips on top of his. It’s graceless and clumsy, and Jihoon can feel Daniel tense and frozen against him as he tries to maintain the position he’s put himself in. It takes two seconds for his mind to blank out, and it’s in this state of not really knowing what to do next that he regresses to his instincts and goes from there—moving his lips against Daniel’s ever so slightly.

And it does something. Deep in his gut and through the depths of his chest, something blooms in flickers of ember that quickly evolves into a raging wildfire—so intoxicating and _addicting_ that it has him chasing for more. He moves his lips again, and this time his heart leaps and bounds all across the walls of his chest cavity when he starts to feel Daniel doing the same.

A hand snakes up to the space between his neck and the underside of his right jawline, the touch sending hot bolts of electricity to every nerve in proximity. His blood is racing all over and he feels like he’s floating, the entirety of his being lifted on a ride that’s enchanting and only a little gauche. Their lips move in sync again and this time the poles shift, and Jihoon is falling and falling into depths that are bathed in warmth that’s almost too hot for him to handle.

He’s the first to pull away, because any longer is starting to make him feel that he’d self-combust right then and there. He’s only aware that his eyes are even closed when he slowly blinks them open again, only to come face to face with a flustered Daniel staring back at him with his mouth agape and still slightly slick and sheened with what he realizes is his own doing. The visual doesn’t deter him though, and only pushes him further—the bravery rooted from the fact that he just kissed Daniel.

“I like you.” Jihoon repeats now, strong with a conviction that contrasts the shakiness of his breath. And although it takes a seemingly long while, the smile that erupts and stretches along the planes of Daniel’s face is what ultimately gets him to scoot forward and kiss him again.

Time ceases to exist, and the only indication of its passing is that the once bright glow of light coming in through Daniel’s window has now turned a deep orange. They somehow find themselves lying side by side on the small twin size bed, facing each other with no more than a few centimeters of space splitting them in between. Jihoon’s hand is there, resting beneath Daniel’s as the older boy draws lazy circles over his skin with his fingers. 

“What are you thinking about?” Jihoon breaks the silence, his voice coming out low and soft that’s only enough for a person as close as Daniel to hear. An immediate answer eludes him, and it’s only when the fingers stop their slugging drawl a few seconds later does he get one.

“Was that your first kiss?” Daniel asks, and for all the brazenness he had earlier from being the one to actually make the first move— _twice_ —Jihoon can’t find his voice to answer the question and just gives out a shy nod.

“Huh.” Daniel muses, breathing the sound out as a playful kind of smile stretches at the corners of his lips. 

“What about you?” Jihon blurts out, mostly in an attempt to take the spotlight off of him since his neck is starting to burn a few degrees hotter. He kind of regrets it though, when the smile falls from Daniel’s face and he shakes his head. Right. Of course. Why did he even ask.

“It’s the best one I’ve had though,” the older boy says in the next beat, as if reading his mind and keeping it from thoughts he shouldn’t be entertaining. “It’s not my first, but it’s definitely my favorite.”

It doesn’t help contain the rising blush and if anything, Daniel’s words only intensify it. Realizing the futility of his own effort, he simply rides on it instead of shying away now. 

“Same here,” he says, nodding and doing his best to keep himself from staring too hard on Daniel’s lips. “I mean, not that I have any basis of comparison but—yeah…”

He’s rewarded with a soft chuckle, one that at his current proximity allows him to smell the mostly-faded scent of cigarettes and—is that strawberry jelly?—on Daniel’s breath. It’s a scent he’s starting to grow fond of now, despite its implications.

“I wish today didn’t have to end,” Daniel says, and it comes out so much more and weighted than how he sounded seconds prior. “I wanna stay here and hold you close, cuddle and kiss you as much as you’d let me.” He smiles cheekily at that, all tight lips and crescent eyes; almost blinding. “I wanna take you out on dates, take you out to eat and see movies. I wanna sleep over at your place again so we can play videogames all night in your cool room, and I wanna show off my dancing to you some more and take you to our senior prom. I wanna be with you, Jihoon—for more than anything.”

It’s really the indirectness of it that gets him, the implication laced in Daniel’s words and what he really means by them. It’s clear as day, and Jihoon doesn’t need to ask anymore; not the question of what they are to each other from this point forward, nor at how they’re going to tread the road they’re facing being apart from each other. The mournful smile on Daniel’s face is enough to tell him that he has no intention of going down that road, no matter how much he wants to otherwise.

“I’ll miss you,” Jihoon says, his voice cracking just as the first tear starts to roll down to the side of his face. Daniel is quick to wipe it off with his thumb, his hold and gaze lingering as he shakes his head.

“Not too much, I hope,” he says, and the way he sniffs makes it apparent that he’s barely holding it in himself. “I want you to be happy, and I know you will be. They’re probably out there right now, and I’m sure he or she will make you a hundred times happier than I can. So don’t be too sad, okay?”

He wants to say that he’s wrong, that there’s absolutely no one who can enter his life at this point and even hope to be half the person that he is for him. He wants to say that he _doesn’t_ want someone else—but saying so sits on the risk of him breaking into a tiny million pieces that he’s surely not strong enough to pick back up afterwards. So he nods, sniffing and swallowing everything down for himself.

It’s then that he remembers something, and the thought makes him jolt up from his position so he can reach around the bed to grab his backpack—a ruse on his focus, really, to keep himself from unraveling even further. Daniel sits up then too, throwing a confused look.

“I got you something,” he says, fingers finally finding hold as he pulls it out of his backpack. He hands it over to Daniel, who only stares at it wide-eyed and mute.

“Jihoon—”

“It’s the photo we took together at the park,” he speaks over him, forcing out some semblance of composure as he nods to the gift. “I had it printed a few days ago and put it in a frame. It’s umm...to replace the one I broke that day.”

He doesn’t really need to elaborate much being that it happened right here in this very room, and Daniel soon takes the photo frame in his hands shortly right after. He watches him stare at it, taking it as a good sign that his confused expression is now morphing back into a familiar smile.

“You’re always giving me nice things. And as usual, I’m empty-handed.” He chuckles, nodding lightly. “Thank you. I’ll treasure this.”

Jihoon nods back, biting his lips as he tries to sniff back the still flowing tears. “You can give me something in return. There’s just two things I want right now, if you’re really serious.”

Daniel’s smile only grows wider, revealing his crooked teeth as he lets out a soft laugh. “Alright. Name your price, Park.”

Jihoon scoots closer into his space again, finally giving up on controlling his tears and simply living with it. “First is that I want you to promise me that you’ll try to stop smoking. You know it’s not good for you, and it’ll make me feel better that you’re keeping yourself healthy when you move to Canada.”

It’s clear from Daniel’s expression that it’s not at all what he was expecting to hear, but he eventually nods and smiles all the same. “Okay, I promise. And your second wish?”

Jihoon moves again so that he’s sitting comfortably next to Daniel, their backs resting on the wall of his headboard. He shuffles close, the sides of their bodies flushed and his head coming to lean over his shoulder.

“Can you sing for me? That song, the one you recorded and put in my phone,” Jihoon says without facing him, unabashed in his request. He feels Daniel’s shoulder’s moving, softly rocking as he laughs.

“You’re inflating my head a little, you know. Am I a good singer?”

Jihoon only hums, chuckling a little himself. “No, not really. But the song is nice, and I like your voice so...”

Daniel’s shoulders move again but Jihoon keeps himself in place and rides along, trying to imprint the feeling in his mind and memorizing the way the air moves in and out of his staccato laugh. What he doesn’t say in this moment is that he’s looked up the lyrics of the song on the internet and translated it, putting it to heart what Daniel meant when he first told him that they’re the words he wants to tell him. 

So when he starts singing—shy at first, until he builds up his confidence enough—Jihoon just closes his eyes and tries to take it in for what it is. He doesn’t try wiping the tears away now nor does he mind them, and he lets himself be lulled into peace by the rough smoothness of Daniel’s voice; placing the sound he carries and the breath he takes into memory, tucked where he will never forget them.

_Because maybe, you’re gonna be the one that saves me—_

_And after all. You’re my wonderwall_

**Author's Note:**

> I'm probably alone on this boat now lol but if you're here, thank you so much for reading! :)
> 
> @eightleggedfox


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